A real wife led marriage

After reading so many websites and posts that describe a WLM/FLR as involving a mistress/slave relationship, I guess we have been doing it wrong all this time. My WLM is kind of boring but I think more based in reality than what I often read that seems written to cater to male fantasies and to sell books that will turn your wife into a Dominatrix by convincing her that it is the only way to control her mate. It does make me laugh at times.

Here is how our WLM works. My wife leads our marriage for reason I will not go into. To any visitor at our home or those we meet on the outside, we look like any other couple. When my wife agreed to lead our marriage she did not grow latex skin and 8" heels or even start a whip collection. In fact that only thing that she wanted was a foot massage once in a while at night. I ended up with some household chores that I volunteered to do where before I did nothing at all in the house.

We still love and respect each other. We still like to make sure that our decisions are discussed and agreeable to both of us. My wife knows that she always has final say but it has never come to the point where we could not agree on something and that has been true over our 41 year marriage. That is what happens when both are in love and respect the wishes of each other. It is I who is encouraging her to think more of her pleasure than mine because after 41 years of putting her needs before mine, I felt it was time for me push her towards putting her needs before mine for the little daily things in our life like what to watch on TV or where to go to eat, etc.. It actually is a real times saver as we would go back and forth asking the other to make the choice until one of us gave up and made a decision based on what we thought the other would choose.

I have agreed to do what my wife asks me to do because I trust her to be fair and she is. She still does the bulk of the work it takes to run our household by her own choice. She also said she did not want to me my Mistress or become one of those bossy wives she hates. So she asks me politely to do things and thanks me afterwards. If I do not do something there is no punishment involved. In fact, our WLM is held separate from our sex life.
I am only submissive during sex but very alpha male in real life to a fault. However, if someone was naturally submissive, they would more than likely find a sexual element in a FLR since you are not the controlling party in the relationship anymore. Personally, I view it as finally getting my wife to stop being my servant, doing things that please her once in a while without regard to my pleasure. In the past if we were sharing a couch and I wanted a glass of milk, she would jump up and get it for me. Now she just sits there and waits for me to get it myself. That is progress.

A little of her new assertiveness has spilled over to our sex life but not by design. She now has no problem in telling me she is not in the mood and no problem in having her orgasms without first pleasing me. There is a long story involved concerning our sexual situation that involves a third party that is no longer with us but lets just say that my wife and I were BDSM and vanilla. So we had to find mutual ground and we did that in Teasing and Denial which has an element of Chastity but only for a few days at a time. She really enjoys it now and easily can have 5 or more orgasms in a week where before she had lost interest in sex together as I also did. My moans of pleasure have always been her trigger to orgasm so teasing me produces those moans and as she also learned, so does placing some heavy duty clips on my nipples. She needs to hear me moan so we found things that we both liked that satisfied our sexual needs. So I would be lying if I said that our WLM did not impact our sex life a little but it is not part of our WLM agreement. As our leader, sex is always at here desecration as it used to be at mine.

So that is it, a real life WLM. The only thing my wife wanted out of this was foot and body massages whenever she asked. That was the only thing she brought to the table. I designed the rest of the relationship, with her approval of course as she is submissive and without my involvement, would still be doing everything around the house and catering to my every need. I had a great run of 41 years living in a threesome and having both a Mistress and loving wife who did everything to please me, even bringing her girlfriend into our bed to cater to my BDSM fetish.

We are still adjusting but she is starting to ask or sometimes even tell me to do some small things like clean up the shower when she is done or get her a glass of water when she is laying on the couch with the dog on her lap. Things I always wanted to do for her anyway. There is no display of power on her part. The greatest impact of our WLM has been that she has brought my compulsive and impulsive spending under control and paid off all of our charge cards. While I have always asked her if she was OK with me buying things, she was too easy and let me buy lots of expensive things that I wanted but did not need. I would buy stuff, play with it for a while and never touch it again. So that has been the most positive thing to come out of our WLM.

I did ask her to whip and paddle my butt once to see if she liked it but freaked out when she saw the bruises she made and has not had any desire to repeat it. The way we look at it is that I am free to ignore her requests but why would I since I am the one that asked for a WLM in the first place. She sees no need to make me do anything that I do not want to do voluntarily as she said she does not want a slave for a husband but rather that strong and aggressive man that she married. When we go out we are just like everyone else. I ask her if I can get her anything and she does the same for me.

As I said, boring but real.

 

Thank you for your kind response. It is strange that I lived most men's fantasy of having thousands of threesomes and being dominated during sex for so long but to me it was normal. In fact it got boring towards the end. When we found ourselves a couple after so long, we felt it was weird. Someday I will post about how we like to shock the outside world when we went out together. Remember that it was back then when gays and lesbians were still pretty much still in the closet. I love to shock people and do weird things so we had lots of fun.

 

When I got out of the Army I sold Life Insurance door to door. What you run into during the day is a lot of lonely wives. I was buffed from my military service, looked 16 and a Cougar magnet. Just two quick stories. One involved a mother and daughter who bought started feeling me up under their kitchen table and when they discovered the other, started a fight over who should get me. The other was very typical where a lonely older woman would buy a small policy and have be bring it over at night were I would be met by her dressed in something sexy, lit candles and an open bottle of wine. The guys in our agency used to swap stories like this all the time and let each other know which women were available. I was engaged at the time so I got out of that situation real fast. It did however open my eyes to the fact that plain and quiet woman were more freaky than those who flaunted their sex and dressed the part.