My journey began early February this year, when my lady now known as my Mistress, decided that she’s had enough of my bullshit and had my joystick locked down. Why did I so readily agree to this is an entire story on its own. So far, I’ve had 2 unauthorised orgasms (same day one after another) for which I was punished harshly for. I have struggled and I am still struggling, with everything that comes with this new reality, of having my dick placed under Mistress’ control. It has been made clear to me, that I should forget about being allowed to cum, till at the very least a week before end April. Thereafter, I can expect to have to be working very hard, for a possibility of being allowed to cum, not necessarily with an orgasm. During the past month I have tasted Mistress’ discipline, used to correct any undesirable behaviour. I’ve had my mouth soaped, my arse caned and belted, and got my nutsack and nipples smeared with stinging medicated ointment. Being sent to “my naughty corner”, is also rather common.
Never really got used to having to piss seated. It still feels deeply emasculating. Tried to piss standing when I first got locked, resulting in a huge mess to clean along with a very sore bottom to deal with. Been sitting ever since.
It is a frightening thought. I do not know if it is purely acceptance, or the worry that I might run into trouble without it. The struggle is real but I don’t seem to have the urge or desire to avoid it.