Not the book, just a statement. I've been working towards moving my marriage towards an FLR / chastity type thing for years and I think I've finally crossed the "be careful what you ask for" threshold. How so? Well it seems I've done such a good job being submissive and empowering my wife to take charge, that she decided that all that fetish stuff is too much work for her and she can't be bothered. If I want to be locked up, it's my problem. Oh, she still very much expects me to do whatever labour she deems is my job, and to take care of her sexually when she wants it, but my fetishes are my problem. I can still lock my cock up, since she rarely has any use for it and is quite satisfied with the magic wand. She might be ok holding my spare key just in case she feels like using my dick once in a while, but all other aspects of my lockup are my problem. So the sex aspect of my FLR has essentially gone full circle back to vanilla. Not what I wanted, but then again I guess it's not supposed to be. Oh well, no regrets I guess.
That sounds like a true test of your commitment. Hope she realizes that some reward for you, will make life better overall. But i agree, if you ask her to take lead, you have to follow more or less. Good luck and enjoy.
While it is true that nobody is entitled to their partner indulging in their kinks, healthy human relationships require both parties working towards the common good and trying to make the other party happy. I hope she's doing that in ways that you're not describing, but it sounds like she's failing at least part of it.
Nothing's free. It takes both parties putting effort into this kinky lifestyle for it to work in a healthy and mutually satisfactory way. Hopefully there's more ying and yang than what you've described. If not, then hopefully you can find balance yourself so that you can be at peace with whatever service you decide to continue to give her vs her acknowledging that service in a way that is positive for you.
The hardest part of this whole journey has been trying to figure out what I really want and prioritize something that's compatible with real life and not internet masturbatory fantasies. So if she leads, and what I want is for her to lead, it stands to reason that I should be happy to follow where she takes us, and I am. It's a test at times to be submissive, and the road can be bumpy but our marriage works better this way, and we're both happier.
Given the way men are raised, and the expectations we are given, i totally agree that is a test frequently to be submissive. We've always been told that it isn't acceptable to be a follower, especially in our interactions with women. So you have to expect some period of adjustment. Throw in the confusion of masturbation fantasies and there is a lot to process, understand, and accept. Good luck.
They're probably is. She's still got a copy of the key to use whenever she feels like using my dick, and she does acknowledge that she likes me better locked up and frustrated. She just doesn't want to manage anything that has to do with the lockup itself and she's lost (or rather never really had) interest in most fetish stuff. She likes getting off with the magic wand and once in a while she wants PIV sex. At the end of the day, if you ask her to take charge, and she does, you have to accept where she decides to take things. After years of working to move the relationship towards an FLR I just came to the conclusion that trying to top from the bottom is ultimately self-defeating if what you really want is to the submissive partner.
Kink overload I call it! She might be naturally submissive herself in the bedroom sometimes, and it could be a turn off to constantly have to lead.
"kink overload" might be apt. She has no problem being dominant outside the bedroom, and she does definitely like to be submissive in the bedroom at times. Cuckolding is obviously out for us, but maybe I'll have some success if I get her to realize that she can have me "50 shades" her if that's what she's in the mood for while still staying locked.
I'm not familiar with 50 shades but I've heard About it, I think you're on the right track. Switch. Little role reversal. Might work.
Sometimes a woman just wants her man to take charge, pull her hair and slap her ass as you pound her into the sheets. Maybe a compromise of some weeks locked and some weeks as you as the alpha man having no kink good old vanilla hard sex in the bedroom may bring you closer to a happy middle ground.
I agree with your comment if that is what your KEYHOLDER desires. Because some of us are just locked to be true to the KEYHOLDER I don't mean with another woman I mean watching porn and masterbating