Chastity Contracts: Yea or nay?

I know that a lot of people like to draw up chastity contracts. Even just making them can be exciting all in itself as I tried to many years ago. For my wife and I, they never worked out. The main reason is that just like we have not contract that spells out anything the parties are to do in the relationship, anything we incorporate into our relationship/lifestyle is similarly not recorded for future reference or established as rules or agreements.

Personally, I do not like rules. I spent a good part of my life fighting various government agencies and using their rules against them or showing how they were illegal or incorrectly interpreted. I do not join clubs because they have rules and as a free spirit, I just like to go where life takes me without the confines of rules. I feel that they define what I can and cannot do and often I want to not do what I can and do what I cannot.

Another issue that came up the first time we tried writing down our arrangement. I do not call it a contract because a contract is mostly considered to be a legally binding document as I use the word in business. A chastity or FLR contract is actually a non binding agreement between the parties. My wife and I tended to change things and amending the agreement every time we changed what we wanted to do, became a pain as our agreement ended up with many changes with some of them negating other rules in the agreement. In short, it became unmanageable and too restricting for us.

We do not have a contract or agreement for our wife led marriage. My wife has final decision making authority. That is it. I guess it can be considered a one item agreement but it is not written down anyway. Also had not agreement for our threesomes, domestic discipline and BDSM. Sure we talked about things but only in very general terms and even those terms evolved over time. I have seen contracts for things we incorporate into our lifestyle that were lengthy and very detailed. Some seem like fantasies committed to writing with a few looking like instructions for the female partner because it is all about 'me.me, me'. ")

I have nothing against anyone drawing up an agreement and calling it a contract because as I said before, that in itself can be very erotic when you commit your fantasy to paper and your partner agrees to it. Powerful stuff that is. However, my question is whether you think a contract or agreement is necessary and for those that have or had one, was it abandoned over time. I have seen some where both parties agree but it seems that it all has to do with what the guy wants done to him or to do to her. I am just curious as to why some feel the need and how did it work out for them. Doesn't committing it to paper make it more like a game or role playing, which some may view it as such. I cannot see a contract in a lifestyle arrangement unless every facet of the relationship is documented.

In other words, why do you feel the necessity to commit to paper, the details of your sex play or relationship? Do you consider any sexual activity as a game, role playing or part of your everyday life? Just curious and as I said, I am not against them as I have tried them but just did not find that they worked for us. It liked it better when whatever we did was predicated on the circumstances and situation at hand. As an example, I wore my CB6000 all day yesterday and as I slept. It is off now and I will not be wearing it again until my wife goes out tonight and probably not when I go to sleep this night. The reason for this is that our chastity lifestyle is basically for me to remain chaste and it does not matter how we get there.

I do not like rules so it is obvious why I shy away from agreements. For others, it can be a very good thing as it defines what both parties want although some I have seen seem to be one sided. Your thoughts?

 

Just for clarification, I do not like following rules that are not legally binding or result in penalties. I do follow traffic laws, etc.. However, I do get a kick out of places who think their rules are sacrosanct like hospitals. I once wanted to leave a hospital early but they insisted that I wait for my doctor to release me the next day. I felt great so I walked out. They tried to stop me, citing their rules. I told them that their rules are their rules and not legal laws. I told them to call the police and see if they let me leave or allow you to hold me against my will. They relented and I left.

I also follow societal rules that make sense and are not based on prejudice, opinion or someone else's idea of what is right or wrong. Like in the hippie days when having long hair could get you kicked out of a restaurant.

 

Exactly but some will consider chastity separate from their core relationship. We used to have rules for our various fetish play and confined it to the bedroom, because our rules were unworkable as a lifestyle. Once we decided to forget all the rules and just let my wife rule the relationship, it all blended into our relationship. Nothing was defined. Some elements disappeared to be replaced by new ones. It became more exciting not knowing what each day would bring. My wife is much happier as she is now free to do things as she pleases, when she pleases. Before she had to punish me so many with so many whacks on the butt for this or that offense. I was supposed to do certain things as she was. It felt like we were just acting. Now it feels natural as it mixes in with everything else in our life. There is no defined start or end to what were once "sex games". It has all become part of who we are but that is not to say that sometimes who were are, is sometimes plain vanilla. Since there are no rules, our actions are not defined or predictable. We like it much better like this.