Newly engaged, back in the cage

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by LockedSasquatch, Dec 17, 2020.

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  1. LockedSasquatch
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    Hey everyone! My gf 28 and I 29 just got back from vacation in the mountains where I proposed and she said yes! We are both super excited for the rest of our lives together. Once back in town I can’t remember how the topic got brought up but we were talking about some of our couple friends being vanilla and if they only knew about our little kinks we share what would they think. We aren’t too kinky but we have used chastity fairly often the last couple years. For whatever reason it never sticks usually because of me. I told her how I miss being in the cage for her and in a joking manner she said I should lock up in the cage till our wedding. I was immediately turned on and told her how hot that was that she said that. We joked that I could never last that long. A day later she felt me up on the outside of my pants and said she knew I was all talk joking that I wasn’t wearing my cage. Well later that night I locked up and set the key on her nightstand and she gave me a little smirk. I know chastity isn’t 100% her thing and does it to probably only please me but I legitimately would love nothing more than for her to take the reigns in a way that it became more her kink then mine. I know I personally need to be strong and focus when the times come where I want nothing more then to rip it off of me. It’s as much of holding myself accountable to stay locked as it is hers I feel. For those who are seasoned vets any tips? I’m human so there are times when I’m with my buddies at the hunting camp or fishing that make me just wanna have nothing to do with it. How do y’all power through those feelings?
     
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  2. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    This could very well be a beginning of a beautiful FL marriage. Congrats!
     
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  3. Sipriotes
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    Sipriotes Slave to Artemistress

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    Congrats on the engagement!

    I guess my biggest thought on all of this is that she is only going to take it as seriously as you are. If you commit to staying locked for her, then over time she will probably become more and more comfortable with the feeling of being in control, and it will as you said become more her kink than yours. If you start whining after a couple of days locked, she is only going to put up with that for so long, if at all.

    NINJA EDIT: The tip here is to focus solely on her pleasure. Eventually (rather quickly, in fact) her pleasure will become yours, and you'll stop worrying about getting unlocked and all that.

    This assumes you have a device that you can wear long-term without issues -- that is a separate thing but was a big barrier for us getting into chastity full-time. Now that that's solved, it's much easier on both of us.

    As for what your buddies think... just don't tell them? If your wife is kind enough to unlock you when you're out in the woods so you can pee standing up, great. If not I guess you'll have to figure something out :)
     
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  4. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Long term member

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    That is great, and even if it doesn’t lead to FLR, just being locked until your wedding is a big thing for you both. I wish you luck and a great experience.

    Congratulations on your engagement.
     
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  5. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Congratulations on engagement. I like how the subject of chastity came up and you responded. But you didn't say how long until the ceremony? In any case, she will surely see that as a further sign of your commitment to her and should be a positive going forward. Working toward pleasing her first, should be your goal and getting her comfortable with that will likely take time. One more questions, is she going to wear your key, say on a necklace or anklet, during the ceremony? Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  6. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Once you start wearing it enough you feel a little strange not wearing it.
     
  7. madams-sissysub
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    exactly! After a while you will feel weird not having it on!
     
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  8. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Congratulations on getting encaged!
     
  9. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Congratulations! Many of us here did not get into chastity until much later in our marriages and lives than you. Perhaps you're doing it the best way, LOL. Perhaps, as soon as you give her the ring, she locks you in chastity until the wedding. Then on the wedding night, she unlocks you, with the intention of getting pregnant. Then once the pregnancy test is positive, she locks you back up until she's ready for another baby! All kinds of fun possibilities to think about. Good luck!
     
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  10. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    I’d keep it simple. 3 simple rules:
    1. You stay locked until she gives you the key.
    2. You immediately clean yourself and relook after playtime (an unlocked night just makes it harder to get used to night time locking).
    3. You are not allowed to ask to be unlocked for Funtime. If she agrees to this, she must understand that initiating Funtime is her sole responsibility.

    If she wants PIV but not allow you to cum, a strap on is a lot of fun but so is using numbing cream on the penis covered by a condom (5% lidocaine is best). The numbing cream can be fun because she can always allow you 10 minutes to make yourself cum (you won’t be able to) then she can use you til she is done. She can even let you try to stroke yourself afterwards for her amusement ad your frustration.
     
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  11. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    Congratulations on the engagement keep your mind on the prize and power thru you can do it
     
  12. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    @JessicaAlexander's three guidelines are good. There's usually a long gap between engagement and wedding, so agree when and how you get released. It's probably not realistic to think of being engaged 24/7 until the wedding. Good luck
     
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  13. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    How long till the wedding? I imagine it would be difficult to go from freedom to total isolation immediately
     
  14. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Oh I don't know! Start as you mean to go on! :lockkey:;)
     
  15. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Great suggestions!
     
  16. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    As long as there is a lot intimacy, orgasms aren’t a huge deal. An hour of fun with a numb penis and lots of play is way better than 2 minutes of fun and an orgasm. Seems like this could be a good learning period for you both to learn her body and desires without your orgasm in the equation. But she can set the schedule as she sees fit so if she wants to let you orgasm daily, ever Saturday or once a month, it’s her call (or whatever you negotiate). I think it’s good training for both of you though that there be playtime where there is 100% certainty that you won’t finish with an O.

    I can’t recommend the numbing gel enough. It removes the ability to orgasm so the “no O” decision is made before things get steamy.

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FZWR2L4/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_bYK3Fb32YQX3V
     
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  17. LockedSasquatch
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    Thanks for the replies so far everyone. We still have no idea when a wedding would be but if we had to take a guess it would probably be somewhere around October or November of 2021. Hardest part for me in the past has been re locking after being allowed an orgasm. After orgasm I want nothing to do with the cage but I know it’s her way or no way so I’ve been working on that part of myself learning to accept no matter how I feel I need to do as she wishes.
     
  18. LockedSasquatch
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    I love this idea. I can’t wait to tell her about it. She says she likes the real thing over a dildo or strapon so numbing gel would be a huge win in that category. Gets all of the PIV she could ever want without having to worry about me having an orgasm quickly due to being caged but still gets to keep me denied and craving her more and more
     
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  19. DrPinotNoir
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    DrPinotNoir Active member

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    as a man who has been married for about 30 years right now. This KIND of behavior might mean that she is the right one. Congrats.
     
  20. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Just don’t make the mistake of thinking a 20% benzocaine is better. It’s not even close. Apply the 5% lidocaine into tip of condom and massage as you get erect. Use about a teaspoon and wait at least 10-15 minutes before you try to get busy. Just make sure it stays under condom or it will numb her too! If you want, you can wash off with soap and hot water and you will still be too numb to cum for a while.
     
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  21. LockedSasquatch
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    Thanks for the tip. I wish she was on here for you to give her tips and just make her feel more comfortable in her role and finding her groove in the way she wants things.
     
  22. New to cage
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    New to cage Long term member

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  23. New to cage
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    New to cage Long term member

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    Congratulations and welcome to the mansion. Perhaps you should suggest to her that she joins
     
  24. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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  25. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    Agreed. I just wish my KH would be more generous with play in both directions. Our regular weekend play is usually a a couple of hours of attention to her (including long footrub), with 5-10 minutes of her playing with me. (About once every two months she gives a much more involved and extended session.) It's not quite lock-and-forget, but I crave so much more. I just start to get wound up and she stops.

    Sorry to hijack the thread. Congrats @LockedSasquatch!
     
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