Here's a topic that interests me: Why are you into chastity? Possible reasons might include: It is an expression of submission You want your ability to masturbate removed You want to nullify your masculinity You feel inadequate as a male and chastity takes away the pressure to "measure up" It is a fetish that you just can't explain I am sure there are many other reasons, but it would be interesting to share views
All of the above for me, plus it has improved the relationship between my wife & i. The improvements were the reason we stayed with it after realizing it wasn't just another adult novelty toy like a vibrator. It got me to cater to her needs much more & not take her for granted. She noticed it as well & wasn't sure how to say it until i did.
It feels good and I like the loss of control. Ideally, I would prefer someone to take the control away from me, but my current situation doesn't permit me to stay locked for extended periods (I do some activities for which I don't think it would be safe to have a solid cage on whilst wearing it, and the soft silicone ones don't seem suitable for long term use either). I am fortunate that someone has reluctantly taken on the extreme burden of deciding when I'm allowed to touch myself and cum though
For me it's not about chastity per se but about control and power exchange. Having someone else hold your key is, for me, the ultimate sexual power exchange. And, ironically, i find that an immense turn on. But it only works for me if i know the keyholder gets a similar pleasure from the situation. So things like Carlilock don't press my psychological buttons.
Yes, sometimes. But I think I`m mainly just looking for new experiences. I`ve looked at some "masculinity training" videos aswell, and they are fun too. I guess I find that what you dare to explore, you get a more relaxed relationship with, which can often be a good thing.
This best describes what I feel about male chastity. Excepts and quotes from Huffpost live: What is Male Chastity all about? Male Chastity increases receptiveness to what your partner really wants. So Instead of being so selfish or driven to what a male wants to do, he is more driven to do what the female wants him to do. Now it’s scary because when a guy understands that this is something he is interested in, he has to open that door up to his partner. Male Chastity is an immersive experience. When a guy is psychologically ready for it, and brave enough to hand his key over to someone, then he is in a different mindset. Although it can be irritating and uncomfortable when you first wear a Chastity Device, you are still in the mindset of being in chastity. Since it is still definitely hard, you have to start out a little bit at a time. When a guy is ready to serve his woman, he will be psychologically ready to wear it. Sometimes a male will come to me and say he feels like he is not his best and needs to be better and how to train. So when a guy comes to a woman and says, I need to be put in chastity, the woman should be very excited because he wants to be a better version of himself and he is asking her to take the reins. Often times when they are not so focused on themselves, they can focus on the things that their partner is looking for. Sometimes people do not even listen when they are just running around free. They do not even listen to the things that you want. In our society there are many successful men who just like to let go when they go home and let their woman take control. They like to be edged. They like to be keyed and denied. Keyed and Denial is one of the biggest things in chastity. “Male chastity is not actually about celibacy; it’s a form of erotic play, and chastity devices are, paradoxically, sex toys that will actually enhance one’s arousal.” (Tom_Van_Allen) Some of it is about being able to relinquish control in a sexual way, so as you are denying yourself you are inevitably thinking about when you finally can get the device off like dieting only for your cheat day. When you give away the key you are thinking what is the partner going to do with the key and you are thinking about when you are going to be let her pet out, but that’s the idea. Some of the techniques are giving your pet assignments to edging themselves or to tease them by taking your clothes off or have some type of sexual interaction by him having oral with her or playing with a toy but he will get no relief. Excerpts Taken From Huffpost Live (Bella Sultana bellSultana.com), (Brian Maylan - writer), (Tom_Van_Allen), (Jason Yates – CBX Male Chastity)
It is an expression of submission You want your ability to masturbate removed It is a fetish that you just can't explain for me its all of the above, I like wifey to have total control over my sex,.
For me it's about the control and chastity is another way of me showing her just how serious I am about my submission to her. Nothing can compare too having orgasms (when allowed) being controlled and denied at the wish of my partner. We still in early days of our journey and hopefully my Mistress will fully embrace the power and control she has over me.
Hi there! You know..... I think men are still encultured in many, many societies to be of a mindset to go out and 'drag their woman back to their cave by the hair'... Many cultures promote men as the hunters... including of women! You all know the drill.... a man who has lots of sexual conquests is a stud. A woman who has many sexual conquests is a slut..... I know these are generalisations and I promote them as a possibility, NOT my true beliefs!!! So.... for a male in a culture like this to want chastity, to want to give over his 'power', is going right against what could be the prevailing stereotype of his society!!!! That in itself can add to the kink!!! My thoughts on chastity are that it is an expression of who you are and how you feel. It is an expression of my love for my wife. But we had to make sure we were both on the same page! Just because I love it didn't mean she would!!!! But we came to an understanding through mutual discussion and we have made a version of chastity that works for US! I think there are sooooo many ways chastity affects both men and women!! Both physically and emotionally! So if you are lucky enough to be able to share that with one you love, go for it! With the absolute kindest regards. J.
I had a long reply almost completed when the site when down the other day. I don't have the patience to rewrite the whole thing, so I'll be succinct: Nope Yes No way Not a chance This one's the one
It's definitely an expression of submission for me. I love the fact that the most basic and personal of acts has been taken away from me and is in the control of someone else. Strangely it excites me not knowing when or if, I'll ever have another orgasm. I have generally been very submissive in my private life while having to be the strong, coping male in public. It's a great way to get over the day...being submissive. I also love the humiliation of it, knowing that she could tell anyone about it.
There has been a lot written about the psychology and body chemistry of being and wanting to be denied. Some very interesting stuff, which explained a lot to me about why I enjoy it so much. Yes it can be related to submission but does not have to be. I was already aware that I am far more attentive when locked but when my now ex said this it definitely confirmed it. " I really do enjoy it when you come and sometimes I really miss it, but most of the time enjoy you being in that state where you want to come so much more, and |I know you do. If I were not so selfish I'd never let you come again." I can't tell you how much that both turned me on and validated TTTWD. I am so into it I don't need us to have a device for me to wear but I really do enjoy the head-fuck of not being able to cheat even though I would not. There is something incredible about having made love to your partner for hours and although you might not even have even got out of your cage you feel as though you have just had fantastic sex, with one difference, you did not come and you could very happily do it all again and feel just as driven. In a relationship I really do enjoy my orgasms , intensely so. Soon afterwards though I find myself wishing ... not that I had not come .... but that we were already 2-3 weeks into my next period of denial. When I have not been denied for very long and my partner wants to let me cum, I want to but also feel a little ... cheated might be the right word.. or let down. I both do and do not want my denial periods to become increasingly longer and this confusion certainly helps make TTTWD so enjoyable and being locked does take the decision out of my hands (so to speak). I'm not saying this article fully explains it all but it is very enlightening if you want some insight as to why this thing works. If, as I'm sure some might be, you are content just to be happy enjoying yourself and like with magic tricks revealing all might spoil it then don't read it. If you do want to better understand what pysiologically drives a man to want this then this link is a good start. http://www.reuniting.info/node/4865 The psychology of what drives and the permutations of the possible drivers is, I'm sure, very individual and not really covered here. Still its worth a read IMHO especially if you have not already read up on it and want to know more.
Chastity has been a marriage saver for us. My wife always had strong but false suspicion that I'm having an affair. There was no way I could prove my loyalty. So I introduced chastity to her, made her read many forums / blogs etc After my cage arrived, I made her examine & confirm that the cage is escape proof Once she was convinced, she jumped to this idea & my journey began Today, the key to my cage is the biggest assurance to my KH wife that I do not & cannot have an affair. Our relations in the last 2 years have improved beyond our own imagination!
Is Chastity still a deterrent to an affair, as far as your wife is concerned? If so, isn't her lack of trust in you a huge negative in your relationship?
in my case, originally, my sub suggested it, deep down he was subconsciously aware that he was masturbating too much (his own opinion - I didnt know this). but, as the story unfolded, it also became apparent that he had always hankered after being submissive, or having the female dominate him. He has now handed over complete control of his sex life to me. We also as time has gone on, discovered a load of other benefits that were, whilst incidental, very welcome. We used to be concerned that he HAD to cum every time we had sex, this led to a pressure that wasn't necessarily good. We used to have various other pressures, that weren't good. Now we don't let him cum at all. He is a much more sensitive lover, and having instigated a few rules, like, he has to bring me to climax at night time, when I spend the night with him, rather than the next morning, I'm a night person not a morning person, we are both so much happier. He is much more touchy feely, flirty, huggy, affectionate, much more open to suggestions, remains horny most of the time. He used to be grumpy for a few days after climax, now he is just horny day after day, to the point of exhaustion! lol It has also led to one huge advantage, (this is going to sound daft) but we used to only spend 1 night a week together, now we spend two. Yes, it was initially his idea, but as he said, the idea lit a fire in my eyes, that is hot to him, and this new lifestyle is definitely the best thing that ever happened to me and him. The whole list of advantages goes on ad infinitum, but you get the drift .....
It took CH quite a while to get past this. It was something she had always done for the 30+ years prior, and she felt very guilty, as if she let me down. It took some persuasion to help her get over it. Now she's at the very opposite end of the scale. THIS IS ME!!!!
Another facet of chastity that first appealed to me is the bondage aspect. I have always craved inescapable physical restraint and the inherent TPE that goes with it. Chastity is a way to carry that restraint around 24/7; a hugely powerful psychological phenomenon for me. Of course, it has the advantages listed above by many others too!
i think most of us are a bit tentative in the early days/weeks, until you actually see the difference in the sub, see that he is enjoying it, see that he is a nicer, more caring compassionate lover. Plus, I think the sometimes the subs are a bit sceptical until they see the nicer qualities surface in themselves, and feel nicer, feel happier. I will never forget the first afternoon we first locked my sub up. It was a Wednesday afternoon, we locked him up and he instantly gave me 5 orgasms, which was odd on two counts, first we hadn't had any bedroom fun in the middle of the afternoon for years, and secondly I had never had more than 2 orgasms previously ever, and I remember thinking, if this is the start of things to cum I want MORE!!!!! Mine is generally less angry, and gets angry less.
My KH still enjoys making me come. We'll probably never get to the long-term denial that soem other write about here, but I am workign hettign her past her guilt abotu not lettign me come. We're getting there.
@Sunny I can empathise with that. My last partner had been cheated on by both her previous partners and an earlier one. Not unjustifiably she had developed a certain sceptism about males and their fidelity. She had trust issues that she believed, rightly or wrongly, had affected her ability to orgasm. Wanting a way in which to introduce my then new partner to TTTWD as a possible way of alleviating her concerns suggesting that she lock me up when I wasn't with her became a way to broach the subject. It worked very well too, and for lots of other good reasons. Though she did admit that the sense of security she got out of locking me initially had helped her considerably, which did become very evident.
Why do I like chastity? I guess it started when I was real young. I used to built cages around my cock out of Legos. When I got older before the age of 18. I would wrap my cock up with electrical tape so I cannot play with it when I was naked. After I turned 18 I bought my first chastity device. It was mainly for locking my cock up so I would not play with it when I was naked. now I wear it so I cannot play with my girlfriends property. I like wearing chastity knowing that I have no idea when the next time I will cum, be released, and knowing that my girlfriend has full control over me and my cock.
It's fair to say that chastity has been a marriage saver for us, too, though not in the way that @Sunny describes. We've been married more than 25 years and together more than 30. The first 10 years or so were a wonderful exploration of kink, with me as the dom. Then kids came along and we grew apart sexually. We were still good partners, but were having sex only every few months and i spent a lot of time just hiding in the basement and masturbating. Since we started chastity, I have been able to focus my energy on my KH, not because of a desire to be allowed to come (she doesn't deny more more than a week at a time) but because my energy isn't directed at masturbating. My KH has responded by exploring teasing and anal play with me and beyond that, we've done things that we haven't done in years like stay in bed on a Saturday afternoon just talking and cuddling. Chastity isn't just for guys with a chastity fetish!
As I've never been able to satisfy my wife because my cock is too small, it is best that I do not touch myself. I am very submissive to my wife and his girlfriend.
The psychology of chastity for me is best explained by the Master-Slave dialectic of Hegel... I enjoy a lot of freedom in my life, and I have a pretty indomitable spirit. I do whatever I want, whenever. But as explained, the weight and responsibility that comes with freedom and constant decision making is heavy at times. Giving up my sexuality to my wife for extended period of times gives me mental and spiritual balance. Trusting someone that much is precious.