Just a little - yet game changing - observation....

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  1. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Preface:
    Before anyone starts to tell what a naughty and cheating sub I am, - I would like to make it absolutely clear that the following observation and my take on the matter has been approved and applauded by my wife.
    She is my only master, and she had quite a laugh when I told her about my little observation:

    Prior to this chastity lifestyle I had what i consider a pretty straight forward male approach when I spotted an unfamiliar nice girl or lady , - and engage myself in conversation with her . I was like most men, pretty soon drifting by this brief encounter with my inherent urge to conquer her, to have her, penetrate her etc. etc... - and wondering what it would be like to take her...
    Men do stuff like that, I'm sorry.....
    Always putting themselves on center stage. "The penetrator is on the loose! "- That kind of stuff;-)

    Only a couple of days ago I yet another of these encounters with a very lovely girl/lady, at an opening of one of my interior design projects on a health clinic. She was very impressed, -and I sensed - not just with my work. That's is in particular were the male ego rises to the occasion ;-) - and start to drift down the "Penetrator"-lane....
    But suddenly I realized that my mind was taking a completely different path.
    I was imagining how it would be to serve her. To please her,- and never did it cross my mind to penetrate her, to take her etc... Even when my mind was spinning on its own I was completed converted. No room for portraying myself as "the powerful penetrator" anymore. Not even when she in her body language was encouraging me and giving me plenty of free space to pump it up.... thought of speak....;-)

    I love my wife dearly, and must admit that the lifestyle we now are living has made my admiration of her beauty and power all together without limits. Our marriage has never been stronger - if you ask me!
    I am as faithful as a man can ever be...., so I am not making any advance, nor seek any in the pressence of other females . ( Maybe that is why women approaches me - because I'm am not acting as if I am trying to convince them - that I am the undisputed stud of the town - LOL.)

    After this little observation, I started to think back, and suddenly realized that I had lost my "penetrator- approach " way back - I just had not noticed it before...:)

    I smiled, looked in a mirror and spoked to myself: "XX - You are completefly consumed - in both mind and body with the pleasures of this lifestyle." The transition is overwhelming, and it filled me with joy and pride. I smiled back at the mirror.....

    When I told my wife about my recent observation, - she was very pleased with my new approach, and she kissed me, giggled - and even used words like "God boy" and "you make me proud"...

    .....

    Just wanted to share this little tale of everyday signs of transition and total embrace of the lifestyle.....

    BlueEyes
     
  2. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Thanks for reading my little everyday tale. You have all encouraged me to give yet another example from everyday life....

    Scent of a woman

    We have all seen the Al Pacino movie "Scent of a woman" - where a blind man lives out his dreams before he leaves this earth for good....

    He inhales the girl, her beauty and all , -and beautiful as this image of deep connectivity and awareness may sound, I never really considered it to be for real... Just a sweet movie - an artistic expression of deep emotions. He played it so well, by the way....:)

    What am I saying here?
    Well, - prior to this lifestyle I am sure the the scents of women was just as intoxicating and spicy as they appear to me to day , but I was Oh so busy with my macho -stuff to allow myself to get truly entangled, seduced and disarmed.

    Today it truly saves my day if I can just sit close to her and just inhale her scents:) Her neck , her chest, her toes, her everything...

    And when we talk about the scents of her sex, -I get almost speechless and amazed.

    It is beyond comprehension how this wonderful mixtures of spices and seduction can flow from her. I can label and isolate every one of the nodes in her scent, -and I love every single one of them:) When I have served her and she is all wet and juiced up, I rub my face ( Or she does it) thoroughly in her juices and soon falls asleep - face covered in her juices. I have her scent with me all the way - into my sleep.....

    In the old days - I was just concern about how many spurts I had made and how high she had moaned when I impaled her... Today I can map the developing scents of her arousal. Yes they differ depending on whether or not she allows penetration, whether or not she wants me to rim her, etc. etc...

    So much have changed..
    - and Yes, the ability to finally experience the wonderful scents of a women, is yet another rewarding element of this wonderful lifestyle....
     
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  3. Nostromo
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    Nostromo Long term member

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    This thread resonated with something I have been thinking -- and please, folks, don't respond by telling me I am violating your strict set of rules for your particular flavor of chastity/submission.

    I still look at porn (though I'm more interested in striking images on Tumblr than just seeing some Valley girl get plowed). I still love girl-watching on the street. But, similar to what Blue Eyes says, I am not in "penetrator" mode, really. I am just appreciating the beauty, the energy, of beautiful women. What I have been wondering is whether there is something fundamental here, that some of us have learned to eroticize the very fact that we can't possess that beauty and energy and can only appreciate it. In terms of my relationship, I am not a super-submissive worshipper of my wife; that isn't her desire or mine. But (and I say this while I have been locked for 9 days with no orgasm), the fact that my sexuality is under her control means that I am focusing on her, appreciating her. She feels it too.
     
  4. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    You certainly got something here...
    The fruits that are out of reach are the most tempting, - and with chastity we are turning that fact into an art:)
    And I don-t mind you are girl-watching. Lol! The moment we loose the ability to pick up the obvious erotics of beautiful women when we see it - we all loose - even our wifes/mistresses and lovers...
     
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  5. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    If you have not read a book called Perfume by Patrick Suskind, then you should read it now. Really.
    Do not pass go until you have located and bought this book. Do not collect £200 until you have read at least the first chapter. If you've never played Monopoly then the references in the last 2 sentences will be lost on you, but never mind. :D
     
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  6. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Have we not All played Monoply? -in Danish it is called Matador :)
    So I for sure get Your references ....
    Not familiar with that book - but you make it Sound as if I ought to. Thanks! :)
    I assume @SubVerity that also Your awareness of female scents has increased with the lifestyle and mindset?
     
  7. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Hmmnn, perhaps it has, but perhaps it was ever thus.

    I'm not given the experience of being in close proximity to my lady's ladygarden with any kind of frequency, so those pleasures are strange to me at present, but I have always been an admirer of scents, both of men and women.

    The way different parts of a body have their own smell, the back of the ear, the nape of the neck, the space between a woman's breasts, her belly etc, all have their own distinct smell, the back of the knee even. How these smells change over time, from fresh out of the bath to several days later (I'm from a time when daily showers were a thing of the future;)), and my favourite time of smell of all, the smell of a woman or man after a night of hard dancing. A smell to intoxicate if ever there was one, flushed as it is with endorphins and huge amounts of pheromones. Ahh, too long ago I smelled those smells.
     
  8. BlueEyes
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    Ohhh - I am so addicted - and renew my strength and commitment to this lifestyle from even a brief inhale of her scents. I Can get close to the edge when I am allowed to lay between her legs with my nose in heaven. If I can keep my self from start using my tongue - she sometimes allows me to hold that position for a long time. One time i think I maintained that wonderful position for more than 45 minutes. Well - she made it come to an end - when she demanded me to start licking her. I could have hold that position for hours ;-) she came very strong I recall :)
    To wrap it up I even get to experience the scent and taste of the girlfriend Anne - and lovely and intoxicating as it is - it is not as intense as it is with my wife - ( and that is not just calculated flatter - it is the truth )
    Love adds to the experience and the perception I think:)
     
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  9. Lady De
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    Lady De Never turning back!

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    Normally I would not comment on my husbands threads, but this one is too tempting, and I might even stay in line with the sensibility of the thread... and offer some additional insights.

    Many a female are having private issues with the looks an shape of their gender parts. Well we all know how breast enlargement has become quite epidemic - and now we start to see the rising of a new trend: Labia trimming.
    Lets be honest : This does not come from nothing. It fuels partly from the ever popping up of female dissatisfaction with our bodies ;-) and especially our defining curves and gender parts.
    Even I used to feel this dissatisfaction from time to time, and at the age of 37, it seemed to emerge more frequently.

    One of the many great advantages of this lifestyle is that I have totally regained confidence in my body and my gender parts.

    Being worshipped like I am, it is not just my husband that has rediscovered the beauty of my sex, the shape, the scents and the power within - so have I....
    I like to look me over in the mirror, and I feel beautiful - not to mention extremely powerful. What a gift:)

    He is telling me over and over again , and I sense his admiration, devotion and all, in his every look, move and touch...
    but to see it in writing, in here, is a very pleasant added bonus...:)
     
  10. Nostromo
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    Nostromo Long term member

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    I actually read it a couple of years ago -- at that time it wasn't on Kindle so I got a hard copy. It was very interesting and worth the read, though I think I'm not as wild about it as @SubVerity is.
     
  11. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    I'm not that wild about it, I just think that given BE's current fixation it would be worth a read. I cant think of any other fiction that takes the fixation on body odours quite so far.
     
  12. BlueEyes
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    Oh, - I just realized that I in fact has seen the movie : Perfume: The Story of a Murderer By Patrick Suskind ( link to the sound book)
    only a couple of years back. Haven't read the novel though. What I recall the best is the scrubbing of body fat and skin cells from dead females, to produce perfume - rather extreme I would say !!!
    My obsession is more innocent then that I think. Lol!
     
  13. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Having read the book years ago I didn't see the film (always a way to ruin a good book), but I'd guess they over do the messy bits. In the book all that stuff takes second place to the the mind-scape of idea's and the techniques of production.

    In the book it's presented as something almost innocent, just a necessary step in attaining the goal. The smell takes precedence over mere lives. He's a ghoulish character for sure but very interesting reading, if only for the descriptions of places and the inner world created.
     
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  14. proximacentauri
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    proximacentauri Active member

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    I don't see what's wrong with the "penetrator" approach, that's what men's purpose is for in this world pretty much in all over the animal kingdom including a bunch of insects. Honestly the sole purpose of a male is to impregnate a girl and defend her and die fighting. Everything a male does is centered around this... The drive for collecting resources, power, etc.

    Humans are also inherently polygamous as most apes are, so it's inherently natural for men to lust after other women even when in a committed relationship. Monogamy is an enforced societal concept, and only for those men with lower comparative social status. Kings and powerful men have never followed the rule.

    My point with this rant is that chastity and this lifestyle is messing with the core of what it means to be a man, with millions of years of evolution. Which is fine, we humans like to do things like strap a parachute on and jump off a plane...

    I just take beef with this concept that being a man and doing things that are natural to being a man - looking at other women, wanting to be a penetrator - are somehow "wrong" or a "cheating sub". I think it's possible to enjoy the myriad fascinating things that make a women, her curves, scents, quirks, everything while still wanting to thrown her on a bed and pound her. These things are not mutually exclusive.
     
  15. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @proximacentauri Whilst your comments about "the natural basic male instincts" regarding their sexual attitudes to females are quite interesting, please don't forget that this is a chastity site. The vast majority of males on this site have begged their wives/girlfriends/kh to cage and deny them and to curb the very instincts that you talk about.
    We are just providing them with what they want. It's not until the length of chastity extends to months that we see the advantages.
     
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  16. subklik
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    subklik Office Girl

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    Well, after reading this post and respecting your position I would have to ask exactly why are you here?
    Did you go through the trouble of signing up just to post thoughts like this?
    Kinda weird if you ask me.
     
  17. BlueEyes
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    Well, always nice to see some tale wind on new posted threads ;-) Thats oxygen for any forum:)
    Avoiding a long recap on the evolution of mankind I would however like to underline my observation from my initial posts in this thread:

    It has been my observation - looked upon in perspective - that prior to this embrace of a chastity lifestyle, I was too occupied with the penetrator approach to grasp and therefore too occupied to allow myself to be truly entangled and disarmed by the wonders of women. I simply was not paying enough attention, - and frankly even missed the skills to pick up, sense, inhale and admire the treasures in front of me... I was blind. And somehow also a lazy lover.
    @proximacentauri claims that You can indeed do both at once. Be the tribal penetrator and the worlds greatest and most sensitive lover an pleaser all in one....From my own experience I somehow doubt that. The throbbing dick somehow is blocking the view and sets the agenda, doesn't it?
    ( And I am not saying that you do wrong, - I only claim that you miss out....)

    Well, of course I used to think I was the perfect lover with my dick in my hand, - but now I know that I was shouting blank - by far.... LOL!

    To be more explicit for a moment I would say: I have never truly tasted and worshipped the female sex until after I joined the ranks of male chastity. Never truly allowed myself the time, presence and awareness.
    Earlier on my dick dictated how I would approach the female sex. More or less by the very same technics that I requested for my own stimulation at that time!!. I simply mirrored the approach... Today I'm not too proud of that...;-)
    When my wife today tells me that she finds that I can indeed please her like a woman can - if not even better, - I have travelled far...:) And she knows what she is talking about!


    You have to experience - and allow yourself to surrender - to fully understand.

    How do you describe the concept of "colors" to a colorblind man? You can try and try, - but you will truly never make it. When by a miracle the man finds -or are being offered - a cure to heal his colorblindness he will experience the very concept of colors for the first time, - and a hole new dimensions of wonders opens up to him. And he will soon find that he is in fact redefining and evolving his one-dimensional take on many aspect from his color blinded life. A flower reveals its true beauty and delicacy to him, so does the lagoon. And he will be amazed and silenced....:)
    Soon he will love colors and what it adds to all aspects of his life soo much , that he does not want to close his eyes.

    I feel the same way about my longterm chastity. Never thought it would come to this. But I don't want to close my eyes either...:) A hole new mindset has surprised me and tumbled me over... I was not prepared for these wonders, - and how could I be?

    Good night to you all....
     
  18. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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  19. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Nice to know that I - at last - managed - in my broken english - to be understood by you;-)
    Thanks for taken the time to read - and for the too kind review:)

    BlueEyes
     
  20. proximacentauri
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    proximacentauri Active member

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    I think you misunderstand, I'm not against this lifestyle.. or why would I be here?

    Read the part about how it's fun to jump off a plane with a parachute even though that goes against every little thing evolution drilled in you. I'm not criticizing this lifestyle.

    I just think it's possible to be manly and yet be submissive. If there's no "penetrator" status to deny with chastity, then what's the point of it all? Half the fun (for me) is in the fact that something that's the core of you as man is not under your control anymore. But that doesn't mean that it's gone away.

    I do hope this isn't a place only for one type of chastity lifestyle - that of being denied until the core of what you are is no longer in existence? Just because I'm submissive (or a slave) doesn't mean that I'm not longer a man anymore, and that other formerly hetero "man" instincts - to fuck everything good looking that's a female - are wrong and are to be denied.
     
  21. proximacentauri
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    proximacentauri Active member

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    Actually, I had no issues about your post, and it's great that it's opened up a new window to how you view women.

    I think it's possible to do both "penetrator" and "worshipper" without chastity, but of course that's not true for all men.

    I take issue with the fact that being a "penetrator" is seen as bad. We aren't talking about rape or molestation here. I'm referring to this part:


    There's nothing wrong with this and no need to apologize. It's a part of being a man, drilled into you by millions of years of evolution. Men are polygamous and want to mate with as many women as possible to maximize the spread of their genes. That's basically it. If we didn't have these urges humans would probably be extinct by now. Did you know at one point the human race was reduced to 10000 individuals in the world? We grew back to 7 billion thanks to truly prodigious efforts of penetration.

    Even this very forum is evidence to what I suggest. Look at the cuckold section - it's full of women wanting the "penetrators" as bulls while their sub/slave is in chastity. How is that possible if a chaste male is always "better" able to appreciate women, and women love them for that? Note that i'm not dissing cuckolding or anything of that sort - just pointing out as evidence to my point - that the 'penetrator' status is not derided by Dominant women, and therefore shouldn't be by submissive men.

    If you want to mess with these instincts that's fine, and I fully encourage it, heck I want to do it too. But it doesn't make sense to denigrate something that is the core of what drives you.
     
  22. proximacentauri
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    proximacentauri Active member

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    Actually I have no issues against those instincts being curbed. Heck I want it too.

    Secondly none of my points are aimed against Dominant women.

    All I'm pointing out is that there's nothing wrong with those instincts in the first place, and while curbing them is fine, have some thought about what exactly is being curbed and what drove those instincts in the first place.
     
  23. BlueEyes
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  24. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    @proximacentauri - If there was no urge to deny, from where would you fuel so many aspects of this lifestyle? So hell Yes, Male instincts - to a certain level - is required for the boat to rock - for the likes of us...

    My wife has a saying: It is more powerful to be able to control a strong man than it is to control a weak one.

    We are all different - but we are still a quite pack - even in here - that has this alpha-drive - and .... who still trembles in excitement by her touch and every wish/command.
    Of course - she is a Woman - and she wants to feel feminine and desired in my presence, and I can tell I have in no way lowered the volume. I flirt with her all the time - can't help it. She is free to stop me at any time. But she hardly ever does:)

    @proximacentauri - The only thing we might still disagree on is whether or not you in fact obscure deeper emotions, tenderness, awareness and devotion when you are in the "penetrator" mindset - compared to a disarmed chastity lifestyle.
    I feel a tremendous change to the better, once the dick and pursuit for penetration is not blocking my view...
    But I still feel like a man, and my wife for sure seems to appreciate that - a lot!:)
    She wants much more intimacy and services than she used to in "the old days" , so in fact I have every reason to feel more like a man today than I used to. And Cumming is not what defines a man.. - in my opinion...

    And please remember - I was sharing MY views, thought, experiences and preferences. You have yours. I might blame myself for some of my old thinking- and I feel liberated. What you do - and how you judge yourself is up to You. We are all just sharing thoughts here:)

    Have a great day....
     
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  25. Nostromo
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    Nostromo Long term member

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    10:29 AM
    BDSM and chastity folk can be very opinionated, so the occasional reply that pushes a particular point of view shouldn't be surprising (and usually isn't intended to offend). To answer your question, this forum is very much NOT for only one type of chastity lifestyle. Although there are lots of sissies and deeply submissive guys here, there are also quite a few like me (and it seems you are similar) who haven't given up their masculinity by being locked. (Although being locked has helped me focus more on my wife's pleasure, when I get teased after being locked for a week, or pegged with a strap-on or caned by my wife, it is more about the sensation play than about submission.)

    My experience here is that it is an inclusive, welcoming place, despite the occasional reply that either intentionally or, more often, unintentionally, sounds like it is pushing a specific set of rules for everyone.
     
    Lady De likes this.
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