First, I realize I am very lucky to have a wife that actually likes and enjoys the kinkier and spicier side of things with me. We bought our first strap-on while we were still dating and my chastity device was a CB-2000, I believe one of the original models!! We have been together for over 20 years and things are great. That said, we have never played consistently. It would come and go. A night here. An afternoon there. Nothing ever really consistent and there would be large gaps in between. We would use our toys only a few times each year. Life gets busy, kids come in to picture and more of the same. Reading books on how-to never really worked for her, again too busy or just not enough interest. Since she doesn't spend too much time on this stuff and I unfortunately do, there is sometimes a disconnect. I realize most of this is my fault, as I am bringing my expectations and needs in to this and not prioritizing hers. Now a new idea. I am taking a new approach to trying and initiate a regular routine. The scenarios and scenes I have in my head I am now writing out and sending to her. She can use as she pleases - ignore, use as is or modify. Its a great way to let her know where my sub-space head is and give her ideas and confidence as a dominant in our relationship. I am writing these as short little scripts, almost entirely in her voice to say to me. It has been really well received so I thought I would share. If there is any feedback, suggestions or what ever, I am happy to hear. Here is what I sent her yesterday. To set where we are, I work from home part time, kids are in school learning and my wife is split work from home and going in to office. She was in office yesterday and day before. On Monday I put my MM JailBird cage on. Monday night we were both exhausted though and I just massaged her back until she fell asleep. Tuesday morning I insert the Hush plug and let her know I am online if she wants to control. The cage and this toy are her favorites to use. Mistress: you know, I’ve been thinking… it takes for ever to get you in that cage and you always want to come out of it right away. Last night was nice, goes to show you can serve me and it doesn't always have to be sexual or big deal. I haven't had that much attention from you in a long long time, at least not when you are between my legs. since you think Cindy (we are going on vacation with another family last week and we think the wife doesn't like men very much) doesn’t like men, i have decided your male ego shouldn’t go on this vacation. I am going to keep you locked up until at least when we get back. It depends on how you serve on my vacation that will determine when i unlock you. I expect you to serve the 2 ladies, i will be judging the whole week- to get drinks, take care of kids, etc you know what to do. So make sure you pack what ever supplies and lotions you need because i am not even bringing a key with us on vacation. You should also pack your plug and charger, you know i enjoy that. Now last night was nice but tonight i do want you between my legs and you aren't done until you do both sides. If you’re lucky I will sit on your face and rain all over you. Try not to gag on my sweet nectar. Before we start though, you ARE going to put a condom over your cage and anything that leaks or comes out you will be eating every last drop before bed tonight. you know, i am going to start enjoying this female led relationship and chastity a lot more. Samantha: yes mistress
Hello Samantha, I think writing and opening up yourself is a great idea, but I am not sure about your approach with a "script". I would fear that she thinks that you are using her to fulfill your phantasies and that how she is today is not enough for you. If I understand you correctly you both are currently "just" adding some kinky stuff to the relationship and you would like to make an "upgrade" to a FLR? If so, it's about her and what she wants and less about your sexual desire. BUT, at same time the FLR will open up a great door for a much deeper sexual relationship. Are you locked or have some agreement regarding taking your sexual release in ... Aehm your own hands? Surrender and communicate about what you like and what your boundaries are and leave up everything else to her. I would personally not write a script, because the risk is to high that it's more about your needs. And if it's more about her needs, the you know what she wants ad mind you can just do it. I'm sure you will get a lot back. But maybe the script approach will work for you both, keep us informed & good luck. Feathers.sub
It sounds like a great way to express the possible scenarios - especially if it was well received. My only suggestion would be to pack some panty liners in your luggage. Being caged and plugged is exciting and can cause some leakage at the most inopportune moments
It sounds like you are "topping from the bottom" to me. Why not begin a deep discussion of each other's wants and needs? I'd bet the two of you can work out a situation where you both will be happier.