Sure this has been discussed many times before but here goes… We are nearly 8 years into our relationship which started out purely D/s but quickly became a ‘regular’ relationship too. Over this time, we have tried full time chastity so many times to varying degrees of success. Our FLR works beautifully when it works, but one of the main reasons for falling off the wagon is the practicality of the day to day cage wearing. He rides a motorbike as his main mode of transport and no matter which cage we have tried it’s always been really problematic. Also, he’s pretty prone to thrush regardless of how often he’s out to clean or how carefully he dries. So I guess I’m hoping to hear success stories and advice from others who have found a way of making their FLR relationship work without full time locking.
We follow a FT FLR relationship without 24/7 locking. I am not allowed to touch myself sexually without her permission. I’m sure that can be difficult for some guys, but for me I follow whatever she says. In many many ways, it is even more mental to me when I’m not locked up but I can’t pleasure myself without her direction to do so. This is especially intense when I am pleasuring her.
My wife also always grumbles that no cage is good enough for me *winks*. We have really got the issue under control by not buying expensive cages, but cheap ones from Amazon and Co. These we change through, so that one changes from the worn cage in the clean. Because woman is, even if you are married, just not 24/7 at my side Yes it works without a cage if you have the confidence, but the control is just missing and the exercise of power, which is important for my wife and me. As aids I always have men incontinence slip liners. These fit 100% to the anatomy of the penis and testicles and you do not have to apply what women's pads always have. These absorb the residual drops from the cage and possibly Precum. The other is that the cage design is "open". So have many struts and ventilation holes. This makes drying well possible. This allows odor and chafing to be kept well under control. Still, if you want to do it without a cage, you'll have to rely on your husband or switch to a KTB with an A-ring, for example. Then the penis is completely open, but if he gets hard or wants to masturbate, he will certainly regret it! You notice I look for technical solutions, before the solution of unlocked life with confidence, because even my wife said bluntly : "If so, then so!" Because without a cage should be the last option and requires a fair amount of control and self-control of both in the relationship.
I once read an article by the most wonderful Ms. Silk, who is an icon in the sissy,/CD online world. She explained that she learned about chastity play in her vanilla marriage, and in getting divorced, she learned that *gasp* men lie. All men "can" wear a device, and can be in it for extended periods. In the first little while it is uncomfortable at times, pinches, chafes, and takes getting used to. I'm not saying he is full of it, but girl, he's full of it. He "could" wear one. He doesn't want to deeply enough. As much into this as I am, I have told little white ones to my Goddess about men's health, state of mind, and when/how to chastize me, so as to not fully give that control over to her. It got us to where we are now. Men fear this giveaway. There are several avid cyclists here, the have found devices that remain comfortable while riding, and that's a teeny bike seat pumping them in their business while they peddle. He could wear one, but is giving you reasons why he can't. I come from the forced feminization spectrum, and would tell you to put a device on him, lock it, and tell him to learn to deal with it. Something else is going on there, obviously I suspect a hidden masturbation schedule, but moreso a loose submission to you when it isn't convenient is at play. I'm assuming you know this about males. We lie. What sticks out about the post is that by losing the control that comes with a chastity device, you are trying to maintain the control that comes in an FLR and they are 2 different entities. A frank discussion as to his involvement and buy in to the FLR is what is actually required here. Because when all in on one, chastity required directives are very easy to follow. Minus any amount of buy in, they aren't. It's just that simple. Good luck. What's required of you? Stubborn Dominance that doesn't accept no for an answer to your requirements. M.
I was in a FLR relationship with my madam for a few years before she discovered chastity, and so did many other members here.
just an idle thoughtt Mistress, I am wondering if your sub could use another form of transport. He probably would not encounter the same problems with his cage.
I'd see no problem with using the cage as a 'reinforcement' of the FLR and not a requirement for constant use. Assuming he doesn't stray much between going and coming from work, he could work it into his schedule pretty easily. Or you could lock him up when it suits you. Good luck and enjoy.
chastity is a tool used to reinforce our ownership, since it was never about no sex being locked is so he feels owned, one example is a pa lock through the penis hooked to another pa lock through a scrotum piercing. their is a lot of freedom of movement yet hard ons are uncomfortable, he has riden horses this way so a bike should be no problem,
No solutions I'm afraid but as a biker I can identify with this. Some of the decent sports bikes, particularly Italian ones, are painful enough to ride without wearing any cage as the seat points down into the fuel tank, which is combined with a lean-forward riding position. You also shift your position on the bike as you corner. My own bike is impossible to ride comfortably whilst wearing a cage due to the fuel tank and seat, which doesn't point down, but has a narrow gap in which to sit and then lean into the tank. As a result I do not wear the cage when riding / riding to work. If I am wearing leathers then that is another reason for not wearing the cage - there is no wiggle room at all... As for the full on suit, well, lets just say that my balls appear to relocate around to my kidneys it's that snug! With old man bikes like Harleys that are low slung with a relaxed riding position and wearing a pair of tasselled chaps, you could probably get away with wearing one... More seriously, it is a concern we face as it presents me with the challenge of dropping in and out of a submissive mindset. To that end we've only very recently started introducing some rituals and basic elements of FLR to help me do that. It sounds like you have at least accepted that wearing whilst riding is not an option for him and I would caution against changing that stance.