Encourage reluctant KH

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Igo, Sep 24, 2019.

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  1. Igo
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    Igo New member

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    My KH/wife is somewhat indifferent/reluctant. I want to send her simple texts or notes that will encourage her to be more involved. Suggestions?
     
  2. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    I suggest that you talk to her, face to face, and try to tell her why it's important to you, how you think it would affect your relationship and how it would be a good thing for her.

    I said "try to talk to her" because my experience has been that it's not easy for me to look inside myself and fully express what's going on.
     
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  3. lockedhusband11
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    lockedhusband11 Long term member

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    Give Her a million reasons to want to keep you locked up by doing things for Her to that She loves and makes Her life better and easier and be loving and attentive without ever pushing for sex or fetish related stuff. Serve Her without asking or needing aknowledgement. She'll notice that your cage is a pretty good idea after all
     
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  4. CZSteve
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    CZSteve Caged Submissive to my Beautiful Wife/KH n2toys

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    Agree about a face-face conversation.
    • Ask Her when it'll be a good time to talk about, this puts the conversation somewhat on Her terms.
    • Approach it from the standpoint of asking Her to help you control a bad masturbation habit (assuming that applies); this helps convey that you 'need' Her.
    • The following will come naturally - hug, caress, give Her more and more attention, oral servitude, more and more orgasms for Her, etc - I'm at that point that I CRAVE my Wife's scent; She just laughs at how I'm constantly huffing Her neck, this morning I asked if I can just rub my face on Her pussy for a moment.
     
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  5. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    You can mention that there are potential benefits for her, but until she discovers them for herself, it will sound hollow. In other words, don't try to tell her that you are doing it for her. It's a favor you are asking her to do for you.

    If she's willing to hold your key, even if she's practically rolling her eyes and trying to give it back every day, it's a huge first step. Let her "hold" the key in any way she wants. Even if it's easily accessible, don't complain about it. Every day she does it, thank her for it, and by all means DON'T USE IT without her permission.

    I suggest that when she wants to give it back, ask her if *she* wants you unlocked for some reason. If not, then thank her for the offer, but decline the key. Make her insist that you remove it. Immediately after sex, ask her if she will continue to hold it. If she didn't want sex, wait a few days and then ask her to hold the key again.

    Try not to wank when you are out. Or maybe go ahead. I'm not sure. On one hand, you should not do it. On the other hand, if you do, your behavior will be more likely to show her a less attentive side of yourself. Probably don't do it. The other thing is wishful thinking.

    Eventually she may refuse to continue. And this might be when she finds out that your behavior is different (better) when caged. Don't go out of your way to try to be "bad" when out of your cage. It will come naturally.

    After some time out, ask if she will hold the key again and try to repeat the process above. Eventually she will notice the corelation between the cage and your level of attention for her.

    The hard part is being patient. Be patient with her. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with the process. Don't think with your dick. Stick to the plan and don't agree to remove the cage just so you can play with yourself. And again, even if the key is on your nightstand, it belongs to her. Never cheat at this game. And trust in her that she will eventually see benefits for herself and she will naturally want to take greater control.


    Will it work? I hope so, because this is my current strategy, and I think it's pretty good. I'll let you know if I have success.
     
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  6. El Modino
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    El Modino Active member

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    All good advice. This is how it started for me. She would hold the key but keep it on the table or something and I would insist she hide it or something. In time she is starting to want me locked more and more but hasnt really told me why. When I'm out, I do masturbate a lot. And I tell her about it. She never gets upset the worst that has happened is she locks me back up. as for taking the key without her permission, don't do it. I have done it in the past just for a cleaning and learned very quickly that it's her key and I need to ask to use it at all. I have done this several times and every single time the punishment gets worse. I haven't even dared do it lately.
     
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  7. madams-sissysub
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    Agree with all that a face to face conversation about what you both want out of this, don’t just get texting her ideas and thoughts without her approval.
     
  8. Fatkid1
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    Fatkid1 Unquestionably devoted

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    Win her over with your effort in all aspects of life. Historically in my case conversations have backfired and caused setbacks. Just my experience...
     
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