Getting back to it

I get the feeling waves are very common in Chastity for Keyholders and wearers. Think the trick is to ride the waves and enjoy them as much as you can. I assume one of the reasons for your drops is from pressure to be creative.

Just go with what feels natural and your partner should find it awesome and support you either way.

Seems you're also in a really good position to surprise him.

You can keep it simple and leave the device on his pillow if unsure how to bring it up or you can try something a lot more wild like a tie and tease. Blindfold him so he doesn't know what's coming. I suggest you keep teasing to a minimum so he doesn't get too excited then you're free to lock him up and drive him crazy.

Hope this helps and don't hesitate to discuss how it made him feel afterwards. If you can exchange a little constructive criticism he is bound to suggest some more ideas you can run with.

 

I had to double check that this wasn't my Wife / Keyholder posting...

Even though my Wife and I very much enjoy keeping me in chastity, we also go through long spells without it. It usually starts with a practical interruption like an international business trip or an extended family visit -- things we could probably figure out how to work around but we haven't bothered. And then I think one or both of us lose interest or want to enjoy my freedom for a bit, and next thing you know it's been months since I've been locked up, and I'm subtly or not-so-subtly urging her to lock me up again. That's exactly where we are today. She has said she'll probably lock me up soon.

 

Like the previous poster I have to admit I wondered if you were my wife. We started chastity in February 2017 and took to it like a couple of fishes to water. It astounded me how much we changed and then how much we loved it. Without going into great detail a rather seismic personal event occurred at the beginning of 2018. I was unlocked most of January and we tried for awhile to get going in February until it finally took. I was locked and orgasm free until May. After my May release my wife just seemed to lose all enthusiasm and we've struggled since. I actually told her about a week ago that we needed to take a break and I've been unlocked since.

Every chastity relationship is different and has different dynamics. I can relate what has worked and what has failed in our relationship and hopefully that provides you some insight into your own. I think being a KH is much harder than being locked. I think the locked male endures more physical suffering and in my case exerts a lot more effort in domestic service. Never the less we are the passive and submissive recipient of the KH's active effort. I think any locked male should be aware of and sympathetic to this. I also think it's the locked male's responsibility to communicate to the KH and provide feedback on what they like and don't like. They shouldn't expect what they ask for or even tell the KH what to do, but communication is key. Have your husband write out one of his fantasies. Another great idea I heard once was tie him to a chair naked and blindfolded and interrogate him about his fantasies. If you're looking for ideas, he should be your muse.

If you want to get back to being a KH I think you just need to accept that with great power comes great responsibility. You don't need to be on your A game every day. That would be exhausting. In my opinion you should be prepared to provide some level of attention every day. This can be a simple fondle with a whisper in the ear "just making sure my property is secure". However you also need to flex those mental muscles and do more in-depth activities as well. For me this is an at least once a week level of activity. It can be tease and denial, ruined orgasm, milking or whatever you guys are into.

When my wife lost her interest and enthusiasm I felt locked and forgotten. This lead me to resent her disinterest. The cage has always been something that brought us together and made us closer. Suddenly it was becoming a wedge pushing us apart. That's why I'm unlocked now. It sounds like when this happened for you, your husband was more concerned about his fantasy than your relationship. If you see it as important enough make sure he understands what comes first.

 

Please let me offer you a suggestion

first set some ground rules

If you agree to hold his keys (with nothing else promised) then he must;
accept all your rules and any future changes to the rules and all additional rules
never ask to be released or when he will be released
never ask for an orgasm or when his next one will be
never discuss anything related to male chastity generally or his denial specifically without having been granted permission to do so by you
he may only ask for the afore mentioned permission once a week (between 16:00 and 16:15 on Tuesdays) and must accept that whatever your answer is your final answer.

* insert your own paremeters

This may at least stop his nagging.. When he stops going on about it and obsessing over it you might perhaps consider getting involved your self in some ways ...like permitting opportunities to do things for you ...... and work on from there

Once you get going add whatever new rules you want.
Insist he wears handcuffs when ever you give him the key to clean himself and his device. Until he is locked again the handcuffs do not come off...even if he has to leave the house on errands or for work.

Don't neglect to show your interest in his chosen predicament by assigning him things that you would normally do or that just need doing.

this might prove to be a beginning that may just generate some interest for you in this game of his, you will be surprised what he will do or endure in the hope of initiating increased interest from you.

im sure some of the more experienced KHs if asked would be able to offer some input about and to improve this suggestion.

Good luck

 

My wife and I have been into and out of chastity for abut 20 years. First on the honor system and then a Jailbird about 5 years ago and then a break for a year and another year locked up and then a few months break and back to it today.

In the past, chastity has always been part of our BDSM play but as we got older the BDSM stuff stopped do to medical issues and we just did chastity but long term like 3 months between orgasms. We just got bored with it when I got used to not having orgasms and no longer reacted to my wife's teasing since I knew that it led to no where.

I am retiring this week and my wife thought it a good idea to lock me up as I transition from working long hours to helping with the household chores. We have no rules. My wife just does what she wants. In the past we have always gotten bored with our various fetishes which is why we are always trying new ones.

 

Just to update my earlier post, my wife locked me up a week ago before she went on a trip. It had been over 7 months since the last time I was in chastity for her.

We both enjoyed her teasing before she left, and she has offered just a little bit of verbal teasing on the phone and has seemed to enjoy my brief and sporadic reports about how 'desperate' I've been.