Hello all, was caged by my wife / KH last Thursday., I know that is not long compared to most on here but long for me. Woke up this morning and I really need to cum, feeling very very frustrated. Advice please on how to handle it?
Deal with it.. I feel it is easier to handle when I distract myself. I try to keep myself physically busy. Go do some chores your KH might appreciate. Go workout. Be active.
You don’t need to cum, you need intimacy. It doesn’t really matter what form it takes. A word of acknowledgement, appreciation. Seems small but when your feeling like you do it makes all the difference. When the frustration is ignored it’s the worst thing in the world, or even when there is so much going on in your partners world …. Well one just must be patient even if it’s like you don’t exist
Go do something. Idle hands are the Devil's workshop. Start taking things off the Honey Do list. Iso.
Patience and serotonin fasting will challenge and benefit you. The alternative sounds like what you and I have been doing most of our lives. Life is for new experiences and although it seems like you're just dropping something from it read some posts here and you might find you're picking something else up. Learn reflexology.
Go distract your self, do some house work, read a book, mow the lawn, anything to take your mind off it so you can mentally settle down.
Find things to do to please your KH. You can't lose in the long term. Sooner or later, She will associate your're being locked with you're providing fantastic service! It will score you points while taking your mind off your confinement.
You could try a more meditative approach: don't fight or resist the feelings of frustration, but let them wash over you. You may feel as if they'll overwhelm you, but with mindfulness you may begin to notice how feelings of frustration ebb and flow; how they build up and then fade away, all by themselves. Eventually, you won't feel so overwhelmed by such feelings. Even if the frustration never quite goes away, it may become more like some background noise that you'll hardly notice most of the time. You might even learn to enjoy it. (In my case, it's pretty much the only form of sexual stimulation I receive!) Otherwise, think of it in terms of going 'cold turkey', as if recovering from an addiction. That's kind of what it is, really.
Thank you all for your support. I feel much better, still have the need to cum but I'm learning to embrace it.
I agree with the great advice above. In time, you will begin to accept that your need to orgasm can be partially quenched or even replaced by a deeper feeling of servitude and loving admiration for your keyholder. Stay focused on their pleasure and happiness, as it can truly make you feel even closer to them.
I am on day 569, my best advice is to focus on her, and channel that energy into making her cum. You can learn to be satisfied by her pleasure. Not to say my lizard brain doesn't complain
Of course you need to cum. Of course you're frustrated. To me, both of those are THE point. Through that need, and that emotion, is how you grow. If you didn't care about cumming and you weren't frustrated, what's the point to any of this? It hasn't been long for me. About 10 days. And I've been released twice. So, yeah, the frequency of orgasm has been cut down five fold, which is pretty significant, but doable. Not sure about others, but I've found things are getting easier. I'm more used to being locked and semi-denied. Besides my emotional availability improving (a lot), there are things I like. I do like the feel of the cage on me. It's comfortable, but unmistakable that it's there. As you can see from my Avatar, I ride a mountain bike. I find it's actually more comfortable to ride with a cage than without. (Who knew!). And lastely, waking up with that morning wood (mine happens around 2AM) straining for release yet restrained with some uncomfortable, and unnatural curve has developed into a great feeling that I actually look forward to. At first it was mucho distracting. I'd have to get up and take a shower to get some relief before trying to get back to sleep. Now, I kind of revel in it. So give it time. Seems like what you're experiencing is right where you should be.
Update. Well I'm on day 7 of full time chastity and got over the lull they other day. I think I will have to add down days, no pun intended. The main thing is I'm still enjoying it.
I had a particularly frustrating night driven to distraction with wanting out of the cage to masturbate if i'm being honest, quite different to the kind of peaceful place I've been with it recently. I couldn't, I can't. I know these nights will come and go, it doesn't make it easier when it's like that and it's not particularly enjoyable immediately. I spoke to my mistress about it who is staying at her own place tonight. It helped in the end but being overly-horny and sexting may have been unwise. I think I panicked her by basically saying the cage was the only thing stopping me playing behind her back tonight. In a few days a new electro ball shocker will arrive. She said no more safe-words, she intends this to be aversion therapy. She will be asking me about and keeping me focussed on these thoughts of unauthorised playing. If I beg, ask to stop or create drama the zaps will increase. If I behave she said she will be "kinder" to my balls which I seriously doubt as it's not in her nature to have a gentle session where I'm not pushed to my limit so I don't see how I can win here.
FWIW - my worst day is between day 2 and day 3. Fairly predictable. My hormones haven't bounced back to the point where I'm drowned in sub-space, but they're high enough that they're turning the screw. Usually, the worst of it is over in 12-24 hours, and then I start sliding into sub-space. So don't be surprised if this repeats every time after you get a release.