How should i think about teasing

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Quandar, Nov 13, 2017.

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  1. Quandar
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    Quandar Member

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    Hi
    We are new to male chastity with my wife
    İts a fascinating and a dreamy way to be kept under my wifes lock.
    İ want to ask if what you think about my situation.
    She makes a lot of teasing when we are in bed which she prefers at least 3 nights a week.But i want her to be a teasing bitch at daytime too.Allof the days,her job,our 3 years old son and the other things haste and hurrys makes her not able to think about verbal teasing against me.
    İs there anyone who thinks like me and what shall be done about or how may i think
     
  2. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    @Quandar , what you want no longer matters! With you under Her control, you must accept whatever She gives you. I might suggest that how effective you are at serving her every need and how well you make Her busy day easier, will probably have more to do with how much teasing you get in the future. Sounds like She is a very busy woman and if you could relieve some of Her burden, perhaps She might have more time to tease you more all of the time! Just saying.....
     
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  3. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    The number one thing I have learnt from being on this site... men will never be happy.
     
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  4. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    Communicate with her. I don't mean tell her what you want. Communication is about listening more than talking. What works for my wife and I is about once a month we make a list of 3 things we like about our chastity relationship and 3 things we don't like or wish were different. We then spend 15-20 minutes discussing the lists. Through listening to her I have tailored my actions to make the relationship the best it can be for her. It gives me an opportunity to ask for things, some of which I get and some I don't. Because we communicate we both love our chastity relationship. If we didn't communicate I think the device would be in storage by now.
     
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  5. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Stop thinking of what you want and start thinking what would be good for you both as a couple. Maybe she doesn't want to be doing sexual stuff all day?
     
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  6. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    A teasing bitch ?????? your lucky she's still with you.
     
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  7. chasteta
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    chasteta Active member

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    We do the same thing only it's currently every Sunday. We sit down to dinner and talk about what we like or didn't like about the past week, how we're feeling about each other, and how we're feeling about our relationship dynamic. It's a serious and open discussion. We are very honest with each other and it's outside the context of our D/s relationship so that I can say anything without fear of being punished for it.

    Mistresses Lucy, Jules, and B all hit the nail on the head here, though. You can't expect her to tease you all day if she doesn't want to. Don't try to force her to be a certain way, love how she is. My girlfriend and I have been learning a lot about each others' needs recently. And the number one thing I've learned so far is that the less I ask of her, the more she seems inclined to meet my desires and needs. The more I ask her to do things and push fantasies on her, the less involved she wants to be.

    If you really feel neglected tell her in an honest, serious, and non-sexual way. Then don't bring it up again. Be patient as she decides if/when she would like to tease you. And if it's not her thing then you have to accept that.
     
  8. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    After all this time I do not even ask if we are having sex anymore. Try long term orgasm denial and it will not take much to get aroused. A bare shoulder, hard nipple, bare legs, tight pants, shorts or a casual caress of your chastity cage. My wife will walk through the room naked on her way to or from the shower. Sometimes when I am working in my home office and she is talking to me as I am intently typing a reply to an email, I will look up and she will be standing there naked.

    The quickest way to kill a fetish is to try to make it match your fantasy version. Fantasy and reality seldom are the same. If they were, there would not be two different words for them. :) She who holds the keys gets to make the rules. The foundation of chastity is a power exchange and not a sharing of power. Try not having an orgams for a few months and everything is a tease. Even my dog teases me by licking himself all the time and giving me the stink eye as he cuddles on the couch with my wife and I sit on the other end of the room. Plus his is longer than mine but that is offset since I still have my testicles and he doesn't. :)
     
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  9. Quandar
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    Quandar Member

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    Thanks for your replys.i think i should wait what and when she gives to me.otherwise i will be worried about reduction of her interest to chastity play
     
  10. LockedByHer90
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    LockedByHer90 Member

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    I feel like this is a stage a lot of men go through. Either you get through it or the cage ends up in the drawer. The need stems from the fact that you have this fantasy that you have been playing over and over as you masturbated for who knows how long. Now you have all these expectations about how it's supposed to be, and when she's not horny every waking second like you are (the cage doesn't help), and she's not teasing you and letting you serve her in all the ways YOU fantasize about, it frustrates you; blue balled and sexually frustrated and not in a good way. But like all the ladies said, remember, this is about serving HER. That's the only way this works. Obviously communication like others have said too. But ultimately it comes back to the fact that you are committing the gravest and most common of sins....topping from the bottom my friend. You're supposed to be owned by her for her pleasure right? That's what you want right? Then you're going to have to let go of expecting anything. Expect to live chaste and never ever cum again and never be sexual again, that way when it happens you're genuinely grateful and you really appreciate it. And I don't necessarily mean that literally about never cumming again, but that should be your mindset; whether it's true or not doesn't matter as far as your mental attitude is concerned. If you expect it and it doesn't come, it gets frustrating. Again, let go. Submit fully to your wife if that's what you really want. The more you let go of YOUR needs and start focusing on HERS, and that means ALL of her needs, not just sexual, the more you'll be surprised at how she'll grow into her Dom role and reward you accordingly; at least that's been my experience anyway. Start by helping more with the kids and doing more chores. Offer her non-sexual, no teasing, nothing, no strings attached back and foot massages each night before bed. Pamper your Queen.
     
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  11. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Exactly.
    I found things changed for the better when I stopped asking for things.
    If you think you want/need something, ask yourself "What is it that she wants right now?"
    If it's probably not pandering to your physical or emotional cravings, then you will be truly submissive by just accepting the fact and treating it as something you'll just have to put up with until she is in the mood. Then find something that you know she would like you to do for her and do it.

    Try it - you might be amazed at the depth of submissiveness you reach, in different ways you'll get the benefit and so will she.
     
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