We are new to the FLR lifestyle. I’ve always been submissive and a from time to time, when she allows it a switch. I brought up chastity to my wife about a month ago and things have been great. No sexual activity except when she decides and it’s been going great. I’ve been asking for chores and for her to be tougher with teasing and so on. Punishments for not following rules and so on and she says it’s hard for her. It makes me wonder if’s because I’ve always been the tough guy and she sees me different now. I’m 6’2, 260 pounds and am an officer in a motorcycle club. I do security at events for bars, and am very rarely tried by anyone. My thoughts are just because I’m submissive to her doesn’t mean I can’t still be her tough guy. Does anyone have any advice on how I can make her see this?
Its always difficult to punish someone you care about. Takes a while to get some comfort level and a measure of (her) strength. I have to continually tell Lady C that even though she's 5 inches smaller and substantially lighter than me, still can drop me to my knees, because She has the power. We've dropped our 24x7 FLR a few times so that I can give her the opportunity to try a particular punishment that I think she needs to exploit.
If you've only been on this path a month, don't push her. She needs time to adapt to the new situation. Reading your post, it seems as if you're still trying to control the agenda. If you really want a FLR, you need to work on letting go of the control. Your size may make a difference, but I bet it is more your attitude. Encourage her to take the lead by doing chores, giving her attention, and deferring to her, without being prompted or expecting teasing, discipline or some other reward. Good luck and enjoy the process.
if shes a reader, show her these, plus you can download the PDFs and email them to her, or print them out http://www.wonder-woman.info/ds/How To Set Up An FLR - Georgia Ivey Green.pdf http://wonder-woman.info/ds/A KeyHolders Handbook - Georgia Ivey Green.pdf http://www.wonder-woman.info/ds/Tips and Tricks For KeyHolders - Georgia Ivey Green.pdf if those dont work, PM me and I can email them to you
Try to listen to her. Don't push her to do things she doesn't want to do. This is not about your needs. Its not your role to make her do what you want ("how can I make her see this ?", "I asked her to be tougher, to tease more..."). In the beginning you have to go slowly. Take initiatives, go up front of her needs, dont think about what you need her to do to you. Instead think about how you could improve her life, and do it (helping in household chores, massaging her, serving her some drinks, pampering her, etc.). She will eventually get used to it, and even expect you to do it...
How do you behave when you're in public? If you carry on as you always did, the distinction between your public tough guy demeanor and your submissive private behaviour should be obvious. Good luck.
You may not be reading the situation right or jumping the gun a little. Your woman may need time to adjust to the new dynamic and her role as well as your expectations. Her reluctance may have nothing to do with her perception of you as her tough guy. My BR is my tough guy and very much a man's man. What is so hot however is that only I can bring this tough guy to his knees. Give her time
You may not be reading the situation right or jumping the gun a little. Your woman may need time to adjust to the new dynamic and her role as well as your expectations. Her reluctance may have nothing to do with her perception of you as her tough guy. My BR is my tough guy and very much a man's man. What is so hot however is that only I can bring this tough guy to his knees. Give her time
Thank you for your input. It’s nice to hear a woman’s point of view on this. She is definitely getting better each day and I will try to remember it’s all new for her and do what I can for her.
I agree with @MissyB . Make sure that She has control and submit to Her more. Then be patient. One day, the light will come on and She will realize the power that She has over Her "Tough Guy" and realize that he's nothing put putty in her hands. He may still be a tough, motocycle guy to others, but She ontrols him, so She is the Queen of his universe!
Show her an image like this. She might realise that just because you want to serve it doesn't mean you are a wimp.
Never push. Just be completely open and honest about what you're feeling at each stage along the way and be patient, and trust that what She eventually comes up with will be the right thing for both of you. The most rewarding experiences for me have been when my Mistress was enjoying Herself the most. Having Her just go through the motions will get old fast. But have Her invent the scene and get excited in anticipation or get turned on by the dynamic unfolding and you'll feel the difference. Right now work on building trust and communication.
My wife has been leading our relationship since September. We were a very traditional, the man is the head of the home family until then (28 yrs). She is not overtly dominant, I approached her about taking the lead. She has grown into her new found authority and absolutely LOVES the attention I give her and chores around the house. She has recently started reminding me, usually when I become a little self centered that “it’s all about me right?” I smile and say “yes, it is all about you”. My point I guess is to encourage you to give it time, make it all about her and she will grow and blossom.
You are a knight, a warrior. A defender of the realm. She is your Queen. You are not submitting our of weakness. You are kneeling in her honor.