Are You Experiencing Total Denial?

for 3 to 8 weeks at a time i get total denial because my Mistress Owner lives in another city.

 

Horses for courses really, as abit of a newby to chastity I see T&D as both being essential ingrediants. And i think this the same for my KH.

I had afew minutes of being teased with my cage on today (mainly being tied down with her having retrived the key, lording it infront of me just out of reach). And once it had been put away she demanded some "attention" and judging by how well lubricated it was, I clearly wasnt the only one getting a kick out of it.

 

I am in total denial at the moment. But, I was only locked for the first time a week ago. Don’t know yet exactly what my KH has in store yet. She says she will tell me when she thinks I need to know. Ha-ha. But, based on the convo we’ve had I’m expecting there will be lots of complete denial ahead since I didn’t list it as a limit.

 

I'm guessing by your descriptions you're referring to total denial of sexual pleasure for the male? I can and do experience that for 2 - 3 weeks at a time. During that time I am regularly providing her with orgasms and there is a good deal of tenderness. I'm physically punished weekly although I certainly don't think of that as sexual or satisfying. Typically either she or myself (with her permission) will anally pleasure me once every 2 - 3 weeks. Of course all of this is when we are in the zone, which is not now.

 

I have periods of total denial. Sometimes 2-3 weeks usually worst case. No sexual contact at all. Just living life in a Chastity device. No teasing, no mention of sex.

 

Really great thread. It’s fascinating hearing the experiences of others. Thanks to all who have shared. Hope more will post too.

 

Oof. Hats off to all of you that suffer through this. My Keyholder Wife has me nearly always locked, but enjoys tease and denial, which keeps up my motivation (and the cage ).

Do you feel that total denial makes the time go faster or does it drag out out?

asa

 

Our longest lockup was 45 days with denial. My only request to go into chastity was not to be locked and forgotten. She likes to keep me sexually frustrated so it has not been a problem. I would find it very difficult to be denied all contact.

 

My wife uses total denial as punishment.

 

Hi there!

This is a great topic and I have mixed feelings around this....

I certainly like the idea of denial.... I have a goal of one year, but that needs negotiation of course!!!!

But I also LOVE the fact my partner can pick and choose whenever she wants!!!! It's so random!!!! And that unpredictability is a super turn on too!!!!!

We are still working along our path and the needs of my partner are important.... She willingly - gleefully even! - embraces orgasm control. But that control is HERS. I don't want her to miss out, so I accept what she chooses to do.....

We currently find this a win-win set-up.... For us / me denial and orgasm control are linked, but different things. I crave chastity for the control she has... It's not a behaviour modification thing for us.... It's the cessation of control..... She has gladly accepted she gets to dictate I if and when I orgasm.

As I've given that up - and she's accepted it - I'm MORE than happy to be subjected to her whims!!!! Just cos I also crave some longer term denial, that doesn't dictate (and I am in NO way suggesting anyone does dictate in this way just to be clear!!) that she has to miss out on what she wants to accommodate me. It may happen in the future... Who knows!!!!

But the fun will be in finding out!!!

Kindest regards.

J.

 

I don't think I could do total denial, or would want to, but we have aspects of it.

With my wife, there is no piv sex, just me using a strap-on, on her, with her in charge. I get to give her oral to orgasm, maybe 3 times a year. There's lots of massage, and foot rubs. Some breast play, but nipples are off limits. I'm always locked.

With my keyholder, I'm not allowed any access to her vagina anymore, or to see it. She beats my balls sometimes, and a few times a year, I'm unlocked for CBT (and recent branding) and 2-4 times a year, I have to "empty out" while supervised. I'm caned, flogged,or whipped from time to time. If I'm very good, I can kiss her breasts a bit. There's lots of massage and foot-rubs. Most of our physical contact is me massaging her.

I don't think I'd want or like being denied any physical contact or intimacy. Giving pleasure is the whole basis for my chastity/denial.

 

Yes, since July 2018.

 

In my case that can happen for 2-4 weeks more as a result of inertia and lack of need on her part than as part of any plan. It's the hardest part of my chastity.

 

Sounds like time to separate in my book! But as I/we on Chastity mansion are well aware people and couples are all different. So if it works for some then that's all that matters! I myself am more than happy with Mrs Chaste keeping me locked and not allowed to cum for as long as she likes. I do enjoy her teasing me and I genuinely prefer her orgasms to mine! So in that way being denied is by far the most enjoyable thing for me. The best thing about that is that Mrs Chaste really enjoys not allowing me cum so we both win!

 

So... pretty much what a lot of my married friends complain about, anyway?

 

Same here! If I misbehave then it is nothing, no contact, no talking about it ect.
But I have not been permitted piv or oral, or any sexual contact with her for about 18 months and that was only a hand job, with ruined O, for Christmas I received a hand job and was permitted to orgasm, as she told me about her with her bull.

 

8 days ago, I just experienced this or nearly this between orgasms. I didn't expect to cum and I was certainly glad for the HJ.

I love to dine at the Y but my wife doesn't seem to respond to this anymore. In fact during the last 3 1/2 months anytime I tried to play with her boobs or vagina my hand was batted away. She just doesn't seem to need sexual pleasure in general as sex is the last thing on her mind these days.

I am very thankful for the occasional cage rub, hugs, kisses and cuddling where I get to squeeze my wife's lovely ass but I prefer more. Since I told her our sex life and my orgasms are managed by her now, I am not expecting more than 3 orgasms via HJ in 2020.

 

Depends on what degree of pleasure you are talking about. With my keyholder, we don't have sexual pleasure. It's just massage and touch, and some kissing. That's her favourite thing in the world, and I'm one of the only people in the world she likes having touch her...so unless she's bored of me, she's not going to deny herself pleasure, beyond sexual. She prefers massage and general making out to actual sex.

With my wife, same basic thing. She loves touch and intimacy. She masturbates without me a fair bit. I get to give her an orgasm a few times a month, and get no sexual pleasure. No way she'd deny herself touch and intimacy for some sadistic purpose.

You'd need some sort of dehumanized scenario to cut someone, and by extension, yourself off from intimacy and pleasure. This is usually the point where someone here suggests that the sub be denied anything, and the woman/women find a lover to pleasure them, so I'll just say...no....and leave it at that.

 

It sucks and makes time go slowly. This is the dreaded locked and forgotten zone. This when the doubts really grow and chores become, well work, instead of joyful service.

This I can and do live with, though as I said above, it isn't fun.

This I could not live with. One of the best elements of chastity for us was the restoration of or vast improvement of intimacy. It was learning the joy of cuddling without expecting sex to come out of it. It's a new and fresh expression of love. I love that she controls when and how this is expressed, but I could not live with ending that expression.