What is your motivator when punishment is applied?

I totally wish my wife would try it more, I think?

 

I dont know if this makes sense but its not really the pain or humiliation for me. Its more a desire to please my Mistress/wife and my KH. Humiliation is expected as part of my role, if it pleases my Mistress and KH.

I understand the punishments will come as part of their disappointment in me. Those are part of being submissive (for me) and working to do better. I dont try to for punishment/task but understand they will be part of our relationships. The length/pain/type/discomfort/etc are part of the disciplining the mind for me to remember and work to please both Mistress/KH better.

 

My Wife/KH disciplines me with spanking.
Here is how I feel about it….
Knowing that I’m going to be spanked turns me on.
When I think back to the spanking, it turns me on.
During a spanking, it is not much fun. It hurts pretty badly. She uses a leather riding crop and a loopy johnny made by London Tanners.
I usually end up wishing She would use the crop more, or even just stop, but She almost always uses the loopy Johnny more. It ends up being 100-200 strokes for most of my infractions.
But what really hurts, is her disappointment in my actions that caused me to end up over her knee, again.
Sometimes my bottom is bruised and sore for days. I can feel it even just walking. (If you look through my posts, I’ve posted some pictures. One of them is embarrassingly right in your face before I knew what the thumbnail button did)
When it hurts for days and marks last for weeks….
well that turns me on a fair bit, thinking about the dominance She showed…..
But it’s the disappointment that sticks with me, that is the actual deterrent from repeating bad behavior.
This is just me, and I’ve come to realize that I have some masochistic tendencies.

 

I can relate with most of what you all wrote here. We’ve always been co-captains in our marriage, but now that we’ve gone down this male chastity path the last few years, I knew I needed and craved the discipline aspect.
My Wife was hesitant at first but understood why I needed it and just kind of went along with it at first. Now she enjoys the maintenance spankings, but she still hasn’t truly given me a hard and long punishment beating. I’ve not pushed that button yet and maybe I never will, although part of me is curious just how far she’d take it.
She has increased her swings with the couple canes, Scottish Tawse, large wooden spatula and large hairbrush, bringing me to tears a couple times, just mild tears but still.

While I don’t think humiliation would be there, knowing I let her down would definitely weigh on me, and fear of her really swinging long and hard!

There is a small part of me that feels at some point as we go deeper into this lifestyle, for this power exchange to truly be totally flipped, there needs to a harsh and real spanking involved. Maybe that’s crazy, I don’t know, maybe some of you can relate to that?

 

I so wish my wife would take charge like that. Was it your idea to introduce this dynamic or was it hers? How did you get started?

 

I can’t figure out how to get my wife to deal out punishment. I think that is a vital part of her claiming dominance over me. I constantly tell her you are all bark and no bite. She says “you just wait” but nothing ever happens. I don’t know, maybe, it isn’t in some women.

 

Right on with the Hugs are necessary !

 

I guess I’m lucky, we were both into exploring some kinks right from the start of our marriage. Maybe it was getting married so young, it was just natural to try things.
My Wife would like light spanking when I was the dominant one, which I would of course push her boundaries.
So now that the tables have turned, she just remembers all those times I’d get her ass cheeks stinging, while I’m at her mercy she very quickly got over her feeling bad about dealing out the pain.

 

We have rules and consequences Punishments are handed out quickly for transgressions
Personally it's more that I have let my wife and myself down for which I feel ashamed

 

That is a very intereseting outcome ... How long has it been going

 

Me and my wife do the same thing. She’s not especially creative so we came up with a series of punishments and put them on our obedience app. Some are more like funishments but many are true punishments. Now she just needs to go down the list in the app and pick what she wants.

She has two favorites. One is restraining me and then tickling me for two minutes. I hate this one as I’m excessively ticklish. Even the mention of this punishment is enough to correct behavior. It’s the nuclear option as far as I’m concerned.

Her other favorite is making me wear a gag (ball or penis) while watching one of her tv shows I hate. This usually lasts an hour and usually includes arm restraints. I love the bondage of this one but I really hate some of the shows she makes me watch.

Ultimately, my wife is getting into being my Mistress and KH but she needs a little help at times because she’s pretty new to this lifestyle. The app helps her do that.

 

We are more into BDSM rather than a true FLR. When the mood is right, I will be led to our basement dungeon and my wife will administer some sort of punishment to me. In the past it was an erection maker and some great sex afterwards. When chastity was more involved, the denial was more of the reward after suffering strained erections. Now that I suffer from ED, knowing she is getting stress relief and me being the tool is my reward. I may get a relief orgasm several days later, but the focus has changed.

When its done in a group session, watching the other males who are younger and able not being released after punishment is a turn-on.

 

on our regular punishment implement are the words "attitude adjuster". though the primary motivator is behavior modification attitude is the root cause of most infractions. pucks attitude is relatively quick to alter but mine, which is likely what creates an atmosphere that puck perceives her poor behavior would be tolerated takes substantially longer to correct. as pucks posterior glows in many shades of red and the welts become profoundly visible i succumb to the overwhelming need to apologize for my failure to maintain the attitude of absolute authority and my promise to strive to do better. never denying puck earned this punishment through her actions.

 

Several questions cross my mind while reading your article.

What made this punishment different from others? You felt shame more than usual. I wonder because you also mention that you didn't feel like you were being disrespected.

If you didn't quite understand the reason why she corrected you, it seems to me that your mistress should still explain to you what she didn't like?

It's obvious that you were corrected for something that she didn't like, but if deep down you believe that you behaved well, wouldn't you feel unfair and misunderstood? from your mistress?

Quite regularly, my wife explains to me how I hurt her. It helps me a lot because I sometimes lack delicacy without knowing it. With time, and especially communication, I better understand how I hurt and misbehave.

I will definitely deserve some punishment, but sometimes in the relationship a verbal clarification helps a lot.

 

She still does not dare to punish me for my little mistakes or inattention in my service -although I would like her to do it because it would really help me feel more in my place- What I do do is if I make a mistake and especially if she makes me notice that failure, is to apply two protocols:

- One of self-punishment. The next day I self-spank myself (as hard as I can but it can never be the same as if she gave me the spanking)- they are between 50 and 200 for most infractions, taking into account that they surely hurt about ten times less than if the lashes were given by her. I give them to myself with a straight wooden stick.

- On the other hand, the other protocol is to establish a compensation action that benefits her and is related to my infraction. And it works very well for me to try harder for her!


If there is recidivism within the same month, I increase the punishment +50 lashes


For example:

I don't pay enough attention to a massage I'm giving her and she complains that it's not as pleasant as it usually is

Consequence that I apply to myself (she doesn't know yet): 200 lashes + obligation for a month to offer myself to give her a massage every day

The result is that I pay more attention to pleasuring her with my massages.

At the moment it works as an "internal quality" protocol, although I would love for her to be the one to apply it to her style

 

My Madam uses great motivators, ignorance and cessation! If I misbehave or talk back Madam will simply ignore me for a period of time, if I have angered her more, she will simply stop being the Dom, and stop all bdsm/flr activities. She knows the level of frustration this causes me! And is happy to get her own coffee or fold the washing for a day of so!
If it’s not not to severe then madam has me do very mundane household tasks, cleaning the windows, cleaning the tiles ect.

 

Spanking is so strange. Sometimes I want it. I’ll brat on purpose and I’ll eventually get it.
I can endure much longer in those situations even though it still hurts.
Then, the situation that just played out today. I’m cranky all day, not being helpful….am forced over her knee. 20 strokes in and I am a blubbering mess, real tears, real pleading to stop.
But all I get is “stop moving or it’s going to be harder and longer”
It snaps me right out of “the mood”.
My Wife was hesitant to begin disciplining me in this way.
She doesn’t want to hurt me or anyone.
But man, has She taken to it like a pro.
She seems to know exactly when it is needed.
Last week I even heard Her actually say, “you’d better be careful, I’m in the mood to spank”.
I was not careful enough and ended up with delightful marks on my bottom. But that didn’t last cause I was in the mood to be spanked.
But today, I just wanted to be cranky.
In a quarter of the amount of strokes She completely turned it around for me.
She has said things like, “if you are not going to say the safeword, you’d better shut up and stop moving”
So, in conclusion, you can get your vanilla-ish wife to spank you, and actually not mind doing it (maybe even enjoy doing it)
But make sure you want that, and if you really think you do, I would still not recommend buying Her a loopy Johnny.
Because you likely can’t go back to not being a spanked husband, just like you can’t go back to railing Her whenever you feel like it after She takes your keys.
I’m just rambling now. I have such mixed emotions about being down this rabbit hole that I LED us into.
I love the amount of happiness this lifestyle has brought to my Wife, I love that She gets more sexual pleasure than ever before. I definitely go back and forth on not having orgasms and not being able to sit straight though.
But it doesn’t matter. Our FLR is only going in one direction, and that direction will be wherever She leads it. I have no doubt that She will only become more dominant and I will be forced to be completely submissive and obedient to Her.
I’m nervously excited and always try to remind myself to enjoy the journey.
It is a hell of a lot more interesting than where we were before we decided to try chastity and FLR.

 

Beeing submissive the first and foremost reason to avoid any disciplinary measures simply is the fact that I would not want to disappoint her in the first place. Only the second reason is that punishments for us are always something I would want to avoid under all circumstances. Speaking about about domestic discipline it would be about pain only. Of course there would be also the regret of having her disappointed, but if you look at the punishment alone I would not be humiliated by some whipping....

 

I don't know, I've never been punished.
My wife won't do it.