Because I say so

If you are trying to establish a female led relationship, where your domme is in control, then no reason is needed. If she wants it then so it shall be. Your role is to obey and not think, as decisions are longer allowed for you. If you aren't going that route, then some sort of negotiation of where the line is, will be needed. Good luck.

 

Rule 1: she is always right. Rule 2: when she isn't, see Rule 1.... is pretty much how it is in our Flr household

 

In fact i would say that a lot of the 'because i say so' is taken for granted-for example i will protect her solitude vehemently when i sense she needs it (that includes keeping the kids at bay for a while sometimes)-pre-empting her needs is where i should be and she doesn't need to use the 'because i said so' so much!-x

 

If this was anything other than a stable-loving relationship then i would not be so selfless though

 

as long as it's not something that you've previously agreed is off-limits, then yes you should obey.

 

That depends a lot on your individual relationship. I would never question a command for service. On the other hand if she demanded I do something I had reservations about I would push back. Example there is another thread right now where a submissive male votes for who his wife tells him to vote for. My wife and I have never discussed this as a limit, but if she told me to vote for someone I would question her and might ultimately refuse her.

 

Depends on the structure of the relationship. Generally speaking, if you are trying to encourage a D/s relationship, the default should be obedience to provide positive reinforcement.

 

I came across the 'because I say so' attitude towards something that would ultimately destroy something completely out of the domme's sphere of influence - solely because the domme felt like giving that order at the time. That's wrong from where I'm sitting. Say, the domme tells the sub to hit his child or tell his wife she's ugly or something like that just on a whim - that's not good domming. That's abusive.

Negotiation is the key. And positive reinforcement works much better than blanket statements thrown about willy-nilly.

 

You don’t ask why, you don’t ask anything. You just do as your ordered to.

 

Ms Val and Sir are always right. I was taught years ago. To never question them. I have been punished for asking "why". I have had my mouth washed out with soap for questioning them. We were at the mall years ago. We were in Macy's buying her a new panty and bra set to wear on a date. I was paying for the panties and asked her if I could get something for myself . She said no. I asked her again at the register. I asked why? She said " because I said so" in front of the cashier

 

If you trust this person enough to dominate you and give you orders, then that would suggest that you trust their judgement. However, there've been soldiers who've disobeyed or protested illegal orders - and suffered the consequences of doing so. They believed in their country and trusted their leaders, up until they had reason not to do so.

If what you're being asked to do is:

• dangerous
• against an otherwise uninvolved party's consent
• illegal
• immoral (relative depending on your beliefs, granted)
• against your negotiations

... then there most certainly should be a better reason offered than, "Because I say so." Indeed, if you're being given orders that match the above criteria, I would strongly suggest rethinking the entire relationship.

If they don't meet the above criteria, then I'd suggest not bothering to ask and just following instructions. It doesn't have to make sense to you at the time, or even ever. If you agreed to do as you're told, then do as you're told within safe, sane, and consensual limits.

 

As most others said before: context matters a lot !

My question to you would be : Why would you ask "why ?" in the first place ?

If the cause of your question affects your hardlimit and you struggle with it talk about it. And make sure there is more than just "why" on your part. Just the question "why" won't tell her why you would question her and that you might have problem / struggle with something....

In my relationship - even if it looks like quite vanilla in day to day life - there not many hardlimits anymore. Just some commen sense stuff. So we discuss everything, but the the last word is always hers and mine to accept without further discussion. If you can not accept that in somewhat simpler things you might think about an alternative arrangement.

 

I would add a well-known quote that continues to hold true: power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

 

Yeah I'd say 'because I say so' is a fair enough answer, as long as your dominant isn't asking you to do something that you have said is off limits

 

Exactly what I was going to say. If it's not a limit or if it's not illegal where you live, there is no discussion needed. If anything is still wrong, use a safeword but only with due consideration.

 

Sometimes I like her being the person I dont have to argue with. Sometimes dont like her choice but letting her make decisions and I make them work for her makes it better in other ways. Sometimes her way is thought out for something I couldnt picture and thats cool sometimes too and is a trust thing. I think its hot when she has a plan for us when we get married. Life changing stuff sure talk thats being responsible. + Sometimes she could just be tired or sick of explaining to and gives a simple answer lol I know I am like that when I get home from work. Thats sort of why I like our FLR ;}

 

Several good answers here. I agree with the nothing illegal etc. Putting it into a WLM or FLR negoiated relationship telling the submissive to do this or that is something she has the control over. That would be something that was worked out before starting the FLR.
Now, telling the sub, slave etc to do something should not be a Q and A session. Again, if it's within the agreed upon relationship just do it without question. I have found going into a Q and A with my wife after she has told me something to do is never a good idea. I might not like the idea or chore but I do as I'm told. I try to remember that it's exactly what I asked her to do many years ago, to take control of our marriage and of course my masturbating.
Just my two cents.

 

Before : my wife told me "I am completly feed up with you knowing all and discuting everything before doing it, I am tired of getting you doing it, it takes more time than the task"

Now: do this, I do,
Effedctivly I see with my daughter that making her do her work could be challenging, so my wife was right, so I do as she say because she say so and she is right.

Also there are no more fight and I have more time to do things for me and she is a lot more happy and less stressed.
Since I do as she say she is lot more available for sex and happier in general.

 

i dont ask why cos if Mistress wants me to do something it s right to do it i think.

 

Totally agreed, because any decision She made is always for the betterment of the relationship. If it's a task (bring me a glass of wine) no justification is ever needed. When it's something more involved/project-y, I need some insights into Her objectives for the project. Then, I can approach it with that outcome in mind and contribute in a positive manner.

To recap:
On a basic and direct task, blind obedience is the goal.
On anything more involved and outcome-driven, it's a partnership with Her as the Boss and me as the adorable secretary

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that. The few times I questioned further resulted in me tied spread eagle and various punishments applied to my body.

 

Good question, great thread.
Now my answer. In our relationship, which I try to be strict but fair, I would not ask or demand Weenie to do anything that would harm him or anyone else. I think even though I am incharge it is my responsibility to still be respectful of my sub. Be firm if you wish, be cruel if you wish, but always bear in mind they are people. Yes low life subs, but people all the same.
As for saying "because I said so" Well that ship has sailed in our relationship. All it takes is the look of doom from me if he ever questions my requests. I scowl at him and immediately his eye look down at the floor.
But I know if he ever does question me, it will be for a very good reason, and so I do listen to what he will have to say.

 

It depends not just on the nature of the relationship, but on the context of the request/want/demand/command ("wants you to do something" isn't particularly precise). Depending on the context, what you've been told to do might not be the best way to achieve what she really wants, so asking about it might be not only appropriate but necessary to serve her best. But you would need to make that clear in your question, not just ask "Why?". If the reason is clear, or if she just wants to command you, then you shouldn't be asking.