I’ve been in a rather introspective mood for a few months now, it reached its peak this week. It’s my 29th birthday, and as usual, the introspection gets a lot deeper. One of those things has been chastity play. When I first got into it, I was in a different period of my life. Things changed, and I kind of loss interest. Those memories stick around though. I’m a self locker. I don’t have a key holder or a partner. I don’t think I could do that unless I truly loved them. But, I’ve found chastity play makes a much more meaningful and emotional experience out of the times when I’m alone. There are psychological changes I’ve noticed when I’m locked too. I’m a person that can think myself out of almost any decision, social or otherwise. The dumb horny brain that chastity can cause has helped me discover things about myself and actually take risks. So yeah, I’m gonna start this journey again. 2 weeks of chastity, starting tonight. I’ll either reassess then or try and make it another 2 weeks. This will be the longest continuous stretch I’ve done in a few years. I’m nervous, but very excited. I’ve tried to get back into this, but my mind wasn’t quite in the right place. I’d make it a couple days and decide to end it. I’m hoping that posting on here will give me some more motivation. Like anything though, there has to be something to motivate that reward. Something beyond fapping and locking up. I’m gonna have some nice birthday “sex” first. The dumb, horny brain takes over…
"Birthday Sex" A great exaggeration for what it is. Masturbation. I've waited a week for this. Wanting to make this very routine act more meaningful. The dumb horny brain has made this entire event somewhat more pathetic. If anything, that only makes it hotter. Wearing my most macho underwear, trying feel tough. Cock throbs. Lighting lowered, sensual music. Ready to fuck a rubber toy. Cock throbs more, drips precum. So turned on for something so pathetic. The dumb horny brain makes it worse and worse. I've committed to it, last bit of fun before I lock up for two weeks. The chastity cage sits in front of me, a visual of what I have to look forward to. Heart races. I haven't even entered the toy yet. Mind tries to make the best of it, really enjoy it. Don't blow up 30 seconds into it. So many dirty thoughts. I haven't cum in a week. Been saving it up, thinking of shooting that porn star load. Then I remember my other self imposed rule, I'll have to lick up my mess. The dumb horny brain keeps making it worse. It's all getting real now.
First night was rather annoying. My dick wasn't lining up quite right with the opening in the Chinese steel cage I was using. When I got hard while asleep, one of the bars would line up exactly with my urethra. Not the pleasant feeling in the world. Switched out to a much smaller steel cage, to the point penis doesn't really have anywhere to go. I'm more of a grower than a shower, so I find the small cages generally more comfortable.
Fuck, I made my sub into a switch. This is different and real now. To not be in control anymore... But I'm liking it.