FLR 2.0 - Beyond the Bedroom

Lucky, We have done some outside bedroom but I need to improve in submitting in all aspects.

 

My wife feels the same as yours. When we decided to live this way, it was all it nothing for her. We live this was in the bedroom and every other room. Financially, she is in charge. She gives me an allowance each week. Domestically, I do all cooking and cleaning with or wth out instruction. She always knows where I am via tracking phone app. She knows what I am doing at home via cameras. I need to ask permission to come and go. Any deviations or Missteps are met with discipline and correction.

So, this is what we call a Domme/Slave relationship. It’s the best relationship I have ever been in. Even though I have very limited freedom, it’s the most free I have ever felt.

 

We tried going that way, especially household chores but it didn't work. She's a total type a and what she discovered is that she likes to clean and generally doesn't want me to do it. Every once in a while I'll get a long list of chores (clean all the toilets, scrub the kitchen floor etc) which I have to do in cuffs but those are rare days.

 

For us it has spread from the bedroom, but it hasn’t permeated every aspect. I am still financially independent, and for the most part decide how I spend my free time.

I also make certain household decisions, based on me running those areas. I organize and keep the kitchen how I like it, but I do the cooking. Laundry room is the same. She also defers to me on other things that I am more informed on or is more my area like outside projects etc.

Discipline used to be more often, but can honestly say it hasn’t come up in quite some time, although it still gets threatened every once in awhile.

She is all or nothing when it comes to sexual control, no part time and little breaks, no switching roles or expectations. She isn’t into full out dictatorship, and we share each other’s skills and make the decisions based on our needs.

 

just make sure you have a plan b if she suddenly goes overboard. Remember as the sub you ultimatly have control.

 

Sorry I don’t really give much credence to the whole “I can refuse anytime I want so I’m the one calling the shots” theory. As far as a plan b...I’m married, it’s all about plan A. If she were to go overboard, we would discuss it and work something out.

You’re continued reluctance to give her control, is matched only by your perseverance to remain interested in the subject.

 

Were I living with or in close proximity to my KH that is something I would like to explore much more fully.

 

My wife and I live in a highly wife led marriage. As she has gained confidence, she has extended her control into most all financial decisions (I must ask for any single purchase over $100); partial control over my free time (I must advise/ask permission to visit a neighbor, go to the store, turn on the television, etc); doles most household chores to me (I do the laundry and ironing, floors, bathrooms, dusting, bed making, most of the dish washing and at least 50% of the cooking); she is working on making decisions regarding our life choices (she has decided the last two vacation locations, I am given the task to make it happen however, and while we are both involved in selecting a location to retire, ultimately her decision will be where we land up); and certainly she is inn 100% control over our intimate life (she is the one who decided it was time for locking me). In addition, she has found I respond well to physical discipline, and has also found that she enjoys the physical and mental relief that disciplining me affords her.

We started practicing male chastity as an aftermath of our FLR. She tells me she likes the feeling of total control she gets by locking me. It has taken three years of total commitment by me to restore her self confidence to the point where she has assumed the mantle of control and told me last October to by a chastity device. I have been in it nearly 100% of the time since, although she does let me out for daily exercise and hygiene, as well as some of our play times. I haven't orgasmed in well over a month, and that one she directed me to masturbated in front of her, yet al the while I am happily giving her two to three orgasms a week.
It seems that her New Years Resolution is to become more directive and less tolerant of my lapses. She says she didn't make a resolution, but since the first of the month I have noticed a big change. She is not less loving, she has a huge heart for sure. But so far in 2019 it is like a light switch has been flipped. Her dominance over my life has amped up, as she is less reluctant to direct me to do things for her or our family. She is adamant we will never go back to a "equal" partnership. I do not feel slighted in the least, I have never been happier and or more satisfied with my life.

 

Our FLR evolved over a number of years after discovering Male chastity and denial. While locked I feel naturally more submissive and D has responded by becoming more dominant. Our FLR extends well outside the bedroom and is on display at all times. D now expects all the trapping of being a goddess, opening car doors, pulling out her seat, ordering from the menu for both of us. I always assist with housework without being asked, but D also contributes her share of labour to these types of tasks. If at anytime her command is not met with enthusiasm then it will transfer back to the bedroom where her fun whipping and spanking sessions that end with her having orgasms become real punishment and the after whipping fun is not offered.
This is a very happy place for me and I know D would never go back to a vanilla relationship.

 

I would be speaking out of turn if I ever suggested what a plan B is between couples only that it would be prudent if things get to a point beyond what you are willing to accept. I don't mean you should quit at the first sign of adversity but I have seen too many times where couples diverge from where they were when they started their relationship. I guess some commit fully and jump right in and it is right and works for them. Some of us have ingrained habits and behaviors that make that difficult or impossible. In my work life I have always had to have plans b,c,d etc... and it is innate/automatic.

As for my continued presence, I have come to enjoy seeing how people are doing, not unlike facebook and get some pleasure out of seeing folks who are happy and satisfied.

 

I have heard that it works well, but you must trust your Mistress with all your heart and soul. I came upon a woman in the worst period of my life. The history gets really complicated, but to make a long story short, she took everything I had and everything I will ever have, and left me to raise a child by myself. I will never have anything nor will I even be able to start a new life.

If you've found a Mistress you are the luckiest man in the world and I would do anything to trade places with you...and I wish I could tell you the difference between an incredible Mistress and a vixen.

I wish you the best.

 

Chastity and FLR is our lifestyle. I do almost everything around the house. I don’t do all the cooking because she likes to cook sometimes but she doesn’t do the cleaning up.
Our lifestyle also extends beyond the house to everywhere we go. She doesn’t lead me around on a leash but it’s effident that she’s in charge and I treat her with the out most of respect as a gentleman should when he’s with his Queen.
Financially I look after most of the bigger things because she couldn’t be bothered with paying bills or what kind of vehicle we buy. She leaves those things for me to worry about. Don’t take this the wrong way she drives a Mustang Gt and a new SUV my truck and car are both over ten years old.

Every relationship is different and their is no one way to make it work. LFL

 

This sounds like fantasy bullshit to me unless the story ends with her going to prison for multiple felonies.

 

My wife has some short term memory problems that led to our bills not being paid and credit rating in the dump. For this reason, I manage the finances. Major decisions are discussed but the day to day routine is dictated by her. She cooks supper but all the rest of the domestic chores are up to me.

Disciplining me is her right, as well as the method used. She has been afraid of hurting me so corporal punishment has been rare but she is getting more and more comfortable with the idea. She as been discussing discipline with some female doms at a club we belong to.

 

It's not a bullshit fantasy. I got involved with an acquaintance at work following a very tragic event in my life. She was the one that breached the idea of an FLR relationship, which I quickly agreed to. We were soon married, and had a child 9 months later. The femdom 'games' stopped a few months after her pregnancy and we fell into a 'normal' marriage where she would be a stay at home mom until our daughter started school, when she would then go to work. However during this entire time she did maintain the bank account, which due to my work was a big relief. When our daughter began school my wife notified me that she was gay and was moving on with her life. I was left with a ~$100,000 in debt and had to declare bankruptcy. She wanted to keep the house and, full custody, and child support. When she saw I would never pay her child support she decided she didn't really want to be a mom, so she left me with a 6 year old to raise.

 

@Calibob -- your wife's ownership of her role and dedicated implementation of your FLR is my model and my goal. My wife knows she has this authority but is not consistent in using it. Like yours, she does require me to do most of the chores, but she has not yet accepted the need to be consistent and diligent in disciplining me, enforcing her rules, or training me emotionally. It's a slow process, the key to which, I think, is building her confidence. Just as most of men have been raised with a sort of toxic masculinity most of our women have been raised with a sort of toxic deference.

 

Financial control need not be part of FLR. I'm good at finances, she doesn't want to put in that level of effort. She has said that I should just "take care of us" both long-term and day-to-day. I was doing that before our FLR and likes how that works so she keeps that in place. Like any good marriage we're expected to discuss major decisions that wouldn't wholly pay for themselves entirely within our monthly cash flow cycle.

 

So let's get this straight. You lost 100K and had to file bk. You have one child to raise. How does this get to "I'll never be able to start again"? You've got a kid and no debt (bad credit yes but that's repairable). I can tell you if I'd gotten out of my previous marriage for 100K, I'd be the happiest guy on the block. Unless I'm missing something, don't feel sorry for yourself. It's just money. You can get more. Sheesh.

I'm also not following the 'when she saw I wouldn't pay her child support'. It's not up to you, it's up to the courts. If you don't follow the court orders, you wind up in jail.

 

I totally agree, the process of my wife trusting in herself to lead, and trusting that I would no longer get in her way if she did exert her influence has been slow but steady. She has a natural inner strength that is so beautiful to me, and I am so happy she has begun to trust me and my professed submission. In our FLR we make it a habit to review my attitudes and actions weekly. Last night was review night. I asked her what about locking me she liked. Two things came from her lips; she likes that I have told her that when I'm locked she is constantly on my mind (which is so true); and she likes the feeling of control that being a keyholder gives her. She went on to say that she was please she now controls not only my orgasms, but my erections too. She feels my attention to her is magnified since I cannot touch my erect cock without her allowing it, and she loves the thought of that. Like you two, we are not to the point where she is consistent in using her authority, or consistent in disciplining, but I am extremely happy we are where we are, our marriage is so much better for it.

 

what's the strategy for Plans C or D, though? then what?

 

I knew that any money I gave her would not go to our daughter, and I would end up supporting her on top of the child support. I told her that I would take care of our child financially, but she would never get a dime in support. When she found I was serious she relented...and again, lost interest in raising our daughter.

After raising her alone with no ability to put anything away, I'm 53 and I'm paying for her to go to college.