Getting back in the groove...

Really I wanted to post this as a blog, but since I can't seem to find a blog feature here, I figured The Vault would be the best place to keep my thread about my personal experiences.

I've been away from the chastity fantasy for a long while, having migrated over to sites focusing on related-but-not-identical kinks for some time -- things I find more extreme which provoke more powerful fantasies.

But really that's all they are: fantasies. The truth is, when I'm single and it's been a while since I had sex, my fantasies get kinkier and kinkier, but when I'm in a relationship and getting sex regularly, vanilla (or mostly-vanilla) sex makes me happy.

But that's not to say that I wouldn't like to try out some of my BDSM fantasies, and it looks like that opportunity has arisen, if only for a short time. I've recently met a lady I shall refer to as "A" or as "my lady" to protect her anonymity. We share some of the same kinks, and many of the ones we don't share are things we're willing to do anyway for each other's pleasure. I'm a 29-year-old male switch, and she's a 33-year-old non-submissive bottom. She's very complex, and I am very much enjoying learning about her turn-ons and turn-offs, as well as sharing mine. As we were discussing various kinks, the subject of chastity came up, and she told me that she could see enforcing my chastity as great fun. As you can imagine, that... let's just say it resonated with me.

Anyhow, it looks like we will be engaging in various BDSM activities over the coming weeks, and chastity is only one of many. The opportunity to explore it in real life has brought me back to the chastity community, so I'll be posting here about my chastity-related experiences, but I'll be leaving out lots of other things which aren't relevant to that theme. We will most likely be starting with short scenes, just a few hours at a time (particularly as I can't wear the device longer than that without excessive pain), so it may be a bit dull for some of the lifestylers and advanced chastity fetishists out there. I make no apology about this, however -- we're going to explore this in a way that works for us, and it's my hope that it will be interesting and useful for some out there who perhaps have never had the opportunity to indulge in this fantasy in real life, or others who, like me, are just starting out.

 

Not so well done as you might think -- I looked around, decided The Foyer was the best place for it, posted there, and as soon as I was done posting immediately noticed The Vault.

 

Disaster strikes! -and- Choosing a new device.

My lady and I chat mostly online right now, sometimes on the phone. We have met, but logistics make it hard for us to be in the same place at the same time, so IM, webcams, and telephones help us bridge the distance until such time as other options become available. I told her in a chat that I have a CB2K, but don't play with it often because A) I don't find it terribly interesting to do so without a partner, and 2) I can only wear it for a few hours before getting pain in the skin behind my scrotum. She was interested and had questions for me about the nature of the device, how well it worked, what sort of stimulation she might be able to give me through it for teasing purposes, etc. The next evening she asked if I was planning to use it that night, and I honestly told her no.

After we logged off, though, I had a change of heart and decided to lock myself up anyway. I wore my CB2K for about six hours that night, tossing and turning and generally not getting any sleep. A few times that night I felt a strange popping sensation from the belt. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when I removed it, it became clear that it is starting to come apart. I suspect it's old enough that the plastic or the connections in the cage (anyone know if it's one piece or if it's assembled from parts?) have gotten brittle, because they've started snapping apart. There are normally seven connection points between the back ring and the middle ring of the cage piece -- six bars and a point at the bottom where the two rings touch. On inspecting mine, I found that five of the bars had snapped or pulled out of their fittings (depending on how this thing is assembled) leaving only one of the short side bars and the place where the rings touch holding the device together.

I'd like to make it clear that I don't blame the device -- I think it's just getting old and wearing out, not that it's shoddy workmanship or made of poor materials. I think after several years of service, the plastic has just given up.

Anyhow, it looks like it may still be usable for a short time before it gives up the ghost entirely, although I'm a little worried that it might break the next time I try to put it on. I generally have some trouble lining up the guide pins, and I'm worried that if they don't line up properly, trying to push the cage on may be more than the remaining two points can take -- and I'm almost certain that the first time I try to sleep in it will spell the end for it. My lady says that she likes the idea that it might happen in-scene and give her plenty of reason to punish me, so I haven't tried to put it on again since. I'm saving that for when my lady and I can play together in person.

However, with the CB2K in critical condition, I decided it was time to go looking for a new device. I am not well-endowed, so I wanted a short cage -- same as the CB2K or shorter. That ruled out the CB3K and the standard CB6K, leaving me with the CB2K or the CB6KS. I considered the Birdlocked Mini for a while, but decided that I didn't like the idea of the flexible silicone -- I want hard plastic! I invited my lady to help me decide between the CB2K and the CB6KS. She'd had some marvelous ideas for teasing me with paintbrushes or her tongue or such things through the bars of the CB2K, so I put it to her this way: the CB2K is better for teasability and less expensive since it's on closeout, but the CB6KS, with its formed cage instead of bars, is better for security, and I think it will be easier to put on and more comfortable for extended wear. Faced with this choice, she told me to go for better security, as there are other ways she can tease me.

So the decision is made, I'll be getting a CB6KS for us to use during playtime.

 

mikecb, thanks for the thought. I had considered using some form of adhesive to attempt to repair the cage, but I decided against it because I'm concerned that spot wouldn't be as strong afterward, and even if it was, I figure the bars would just break in different places.

chastityslavejohn, a non-submissive bottom is someone who likes to have things done to them by a top, but who does not wish to surrender freely. Instead, the bottom can be persuaded to do things that he or she may or may not actually want to do, via seduction, bargaining, threats, punishments, and similar tactics. This places some emphasis on the psychology of the scene and how the participants interact, and it incorporates conflict, like the plot of any good story.

 

My Idea List

I made a list of things I would like to try in chastity play with my lady and emailed it to her, clarifying that it was intended as a source of ideas for her and not as a list of things I wanted to check off. Really I want her to enjoy the experience, so my intention is for her to pick things off of the list that sound like fun to her, and/or to add ideas of her own. We're approaching this as a negotiated BDSM scene, but I don't want to have to negotiate specifically what's going to happen in a typical chastity scene, as it'll be more fun for me if I don't know what's coming. So the list also serves as a sort of pre-negotiation -- anything on the list is okay with me in a chastity scene without prior discussion.

Here's some of what I wrote to her (slightly edited):

These work well if I'm not in chastity. Depending on the situation, you could order me not to touch myself or to touch myself but not cum. You could...

• Order me to masturbate (possibly taking direction from you as I go) but not to cum.
• Perform sex acts (for purposes of this list, defined as handjob, blowjob, or PIV sex) on me...
• ...briefly and teasingly.
• ...at length but stop JUST before I cum.
• ...at length but stop JUST as I start to cum.
• ...and don't stop when I tell you I'm close. If (when) I cum anyway, you punish me for my misbehavior (possibly using my lack of self-control as an excuse to put me in the device).
• ...poorly, as a tease.
• Order me to fuck you but not to cum (different from the "perform sex acts..." options above mainly in that you're ordering me to take an active role instead of passive).
• Make me beg (to/not to) cum. (Especially effective if you get me really close first and then make me beg not to, or make me beg to and then deny me.)
• Make me beg you (to/not to) put me (back) in chastity.
• Finally grant me an orgasm (after LOTS of teasing), but not the way I wanted (handjob instead of blowjob or sex, masturbation instead of sexual contact with you).
• Offer me an orgasm only under certain conditions (e.g. blowjob to completion only if I agree to let you snowball me; or orgasm by masturbation only if I agree to cum on a specific part of your body and then lick you clean).
• Immediately follow up an orgasm with putting me back in chastity.

These work well if I am in chastity. You could...

• Tease me verbally...
• ...about how much you want me to fuck you, but I can't because I'm locked up.
• ...about having lost the key or how easily you could do so if I misbehaved.
• ...about keeping me locked up for long periods of time.
• Tease me physically through the bars of the chastity (like your paintbrush and tongue ideas).
• Give the cage a blowjob (with a more-enclosed cage like the new one I'm ordering, I hear the warmth gets through but the moisture and physical contact do not, so the effect is very frustrating).
• Make me beg (to/not to) be released from chastity.
• Set specific criteria for my release from the device. Upon my meeting those criteria, you could let me out, change the rules, or simply change your mind. (Some people get really into this, creating a system of points and demerits by which the device wearer may earn a release. This isn't my particular cup of tea [as far as I know], but if you think it sounds like fun don't be afraid to try it. A simpler example is orgasm ratios -- after you get X orgasms, I get one.)
• Order me to fuck you with a strap-on.

These work well either way. Again, if I'm not in chastity, it's up to you whether to order me not to touch myself or not to cum. You could...

• Tie me up.
• Cuddle with me and caress my body, kissing me and whispering things in my ear which are designed to arouse me.
• ...If I'm unlocked, you carefully avoid touching my penis.
• ...If I'm locked, you touch and caress my cage, drawing my attention to my frustration.
• Order me to watch you masturbate.
• Order me worship your body.
• Order me to eat you while you straddle my face.
• Order me to make you cum.
• Order me to make you cum without a vibrator.
• Order me to make you cum without touching your clit.
• Order me to make you cum within a given timeframe.
• Straddle my torso and dangle your breasts in my face...
• ...to tease me.
• ...and order me to do whatever you like to them with my hands and/or mouth.
• Make me beg to do pretty much anything else on this list.

I wrapped up my list with some thoughts on positions that I like, some scene ideas (many of which were specifically crafted to include her kinks as well as mine), and some things I can't or won't do yet. Out of all that, the only bit that seems particularly relevant to share is this, which I suggested as a scene idea:

• Extended orgasm control play without a device. You give me orders for when and whether I cum for a negotiated period of time even when we're apart (days?). This covers both ordering me not to cum and ordering me TO cum, as well as whether I'm allowed (or expected) to touch myself (even if I am denied orgasm).

We discussed my list today, and she was interested in most of it, and willing to negotiate some of the things that she's not interested in if I really want to try them. She also noted that given her kink orientation, her pleasure from some of these activities may be non-sexual pleasure. I'll be interested to find out how that affects her interest in doing these things. Right now, I've refrained from having an orgasm for the past three days (of my own volition; I had had too many in the few days prior and was starting to feel drained from it, so I wanted to recharge), and now I'm considering suggesting that we might start with the extended device-free play now, since I've got a head start on being turned on but not cumming.

 

I'm glad you're enjoying my blog, Mistress Watchful, though I fear it'll be at least a few days before I have another interesting update, as my lady and I have put things on hold for now. Ah well. In the mean time, I can focus on other things...

 

It's here!

As I write this, I've been in my brand-new CB-6000S for over eleven hours. It arrived this afternoon and I've been wearing it ever since. It is WAY more comfortable than the CB-2000, although in fairness I'm using a larger A ring than I do with my CB-2000. I was using the middle ring of the five with the CB2K, but it was a little bit painful squeezing my testicles through the solid ring of the 2K. I expected it to be easier with the CB6KS, but I couldn't seem to cram my junk through the narrow gap at the top of the middle-sized ring at all. (Note that this is not because I'm well-endowed; on the contrary, I am rather small in that regard. However, I am also overweight, and I suspect this contributes significantly to my difficulty.) So I'm using the largest ring for now, and will see if I can migrate to smaller rings over time (perhaps with weight loss, if not simply as I become accustomed to the device).

I chose to use the shortest locking pin and spacer; given my length, this seems like the best choice, and I've never really had an issue with the shorter of the pins I have for the CB2K. At first I didn't use any lube (although it was mentioned in the directions); after a while I unlocked again to lube up because my penis was sort of sticking to the plastic. Not painfully, I just wasn't extending into the cage as much as I should have because I was "stuck" against the side of the shaft portion. I later realized it was not necessary to unlock the cage to do this; the hole at the end of the device is more than large enough to squeeze some lube into and then spread it around with a Q-Tip.

I have used the restroom several times since I put the device on. I cannot pee standing up (messy!), and even when I sit down I tend to wind up with a little bit of urine splashing my testicles. As I mentioned, I'm short (even for this device), so the head of my penis is generally in the shaft portion of the device when I am flaccid, which makes it difficult or impossible to be lined up with the hole. The inside of the cage portion of the device tends to get splashed a LOT with urine when I pee. As a result, I have to wipe quite a bit afterward -- a little bit on my testicles and a lot at a rather awkward angle inside the cage. Q-Tips (wrapped with toilet paper) are also useful for this.

I showered while wearing the device this afternoon -- it didn't pose a problem, but I'm uncertain how effective it was. I guess I'll find out if and when I notice any resulting odors. I did note that in the shower my penis easily slipped out of the back of the device, and I was able to put it back in again. (I was also able to do this with the CB2K.) A smaller A ring may prevent this, and I also don't have the KSD-G3, which I understand helps with this a great deal. I may acquire one later, funds permitting.

Sitting down isn't too bad, although the cage does bump the surface of the hard chair I usually sit on at my computer, making it a bit uncomfortable to lean forward. I haven't tried a plush surface like a couch yet.

I think I'll be able to lie down in positions that simply weren't possible for me in the CB2K -- flat on my belly or straight on my side, for instance. For some reason, positions that put uncomfortable pressure on my testicles in the CB2K simply don't seem to do so in the CB6KS. I'll try sleeping in it tonight and report back later.

I've tried intentionally becoming aroused in the device to see what that is like. As I noted, my penis usually does not extend past the shaft portion of the cage. When I become aroused, I seem to thicken first before lengthening. This results in a strange and slightly pleasurable (but quite frustrating!) sensation as the head of my penis slides through the lubricated shaft and POP!s into the head of the cage, expanding to fill it as it does so. Makes me want to feel it do that again, but I can't unless I soften again first... such a tease! My erection is not large enough to be painful, but as with the CB2K, I find that my erection pushes the cage (and with it, my testicles) away from my body a little bit.

It's worth reiterating what I said at the beginning -- I've been wearing this thing for over eleven hours now. The other day when my CB2K began to disintegrate, I was only able to tolerate it for about six hours before the pain it was causing behind my testicles prompted me to remove it (sort of a burning pain in the skin, not the testes themselves, perhaps a result of stretching the skin?). I have much greater hopes for the possibility long-term wear with the CB6KS than with the CB2K. I'll keep you posted!

 

Thanks for the well wishes, mikecb. Hopefully I will adjust quickly.

lockedinNWA, thanks for the tips. I had noticed that I can manipulate where I fall in the device by pressing it against my body, but hadn't thought to try this for going to the bathroom. I might give it a shot, although I really don't mind so much sitting to pee anyway. I did experience "too much lube" last night and wound up wiping periodically with Kleenex as it leaked out. Guess I'll use a little less next time. The instructions specify silicon lube (though I'm guessing that's a typo and they mean silicone), but I used what I had on hand, water-based KY jelly. Hopefully that won't be a problem...

 

CB6KS update...

Sleeping in the CB6KS was not a problem (yay! -- I slept only fitfully in the CB2K), but the pants I put on this morning are a bit too tight to wear it comfortably. I will probably go change soon.

 

KY does need to be reapplied fairly often, although since it's water-based, you can get away with just reviving what's dried out by adding just a little bit of water. It'll do for now; perhaps when it runs out I'll upgrade to something longer-lasting.

No womenfolk in my house to worry about, but I always put the seat AND the lid down -- I grew up with pets in the house, and you don't want them drinking from the bowl (for the larger ones) or falling in (for the smaller ones). It just became habit, and I've done it that way ever since.

As for the hair, I already started trimming it short with scissors. I'll probably shave it a bit fairly soon, but I'm hesitant to do so because my prior experience with shaving in that area was less than ideal -- I was very itchy and wound up with pimples and ingrown hairs in the area I had shaved. I'm told that's normal the first time and goes away as you keep up with it, but it's not an experience I look forward to repeating. On the other hand, I do LOVE the increased sensation I had when the hair was gone, so perhaps it's worth it after all. We shall see.

 

Developments With My Lady

My lady and I took a break about nine days ago, as she was feeling a bit overwhelmed. We are starting to reconnect again, although it looks like logistical problems may prevent us from playing in person. I had been just about to suggest that we start playing with extended device-free chastity play when she told me she was feeling overwhelmed -- I'm glad I didn't email her before she emailed me. In any case, we spoke last night, I told her I'd received the CB-6000S, and today when we chatted a bit on IM we discussed it a little more.

She asked if I was still in it (I was), and seemed pleased to hear that I can remain in it comfortably for longer than the CB2K. She teased me about the fact that she masturbated when she woke up and that I can't -- which was a nice comment to hear, although I was in the device purely voluntarily and not at her request. I told her that I intended to wear the device until 2:30 in the afternoon, 24 hours after I put it on, then take it off and masturbate. I followed that up with an invitation to play: "Unless, that is, you have something to say about it." I then noted that my last orgasm was Monday night/Tuesday morning at about 4 AM, so I'd been without for about 30 hours at that point. My lady told me she did have something to say about it -- she said to masturbate for 15-20 minutes and then put it back on! I asked if I was allowed to cum during that time, and she told me no, she thinks I should wait a few days. She wants me to masturbate a little bit longer every day, but not to have an orgasm until the fourth day (which will be Saturday). She then teased me a little bit, telling me that she might give me something stimulating to look at on the webcam in a day or two, and gave me an assignment to come up with something for her to do to herself on or off camera that would get me frustratingly excited. That should be interesting. As a chastity top, she wants to use her preference for being a bottom against me by having me top her while I'm caged. I will, of course, comply, directing her to do something that will get me hard and frustrated in my cage...

Beyond that, I turned the conversation around and started talking about her excitement and pushing her buttons. I love both teasing her and being teased by her. It's a fun and interesting relationship, to say the least.

As for me, it's coming up on 2:30, so I'll be unlocking myself shortly for a brief masturbation session with no orgasm, per my lady's wishes.

 

The Rest of the Story...

When last I wrote, nearly two weeks ago, I had been voluntarily locked up for nearly 24 hours immediately after receiving my new CB6KS. I had invited my lady to have a say in how long I stayed in, noting that I would take it off that afternoon and masturbate if left to my own devices. She told me to do so for 15-20 minutes, then put it back on without cumming, repeating the process each day for a little bit longer. The device arrived on Tuesday, so Wednesday at 2:30 when it had been on 24 hours, I took it off and followed her instructions, taking advantage of the full 20 minutes.

The next day (Thursday), I spoke with her on instant messenger, and asked her how much longer she wanted me to masturbate that day. She "suggested" that I should DOUBLE the time I spent on it each day. That meant 40 minutes on Thursday, and hour and 20 minutes on Friday, and a whopping two hours and forty minutes on Saturday! I agreed to this, although that's a pretty hefty time commitment -- at least it was only for a few days. She also mentioned that I should let her know when I was beginning my play on Saturday so that she could call me at a time of her choosing. When we signed off of chat, she called me and masturbated on the phone while I was locked up. I chimed in, telling her what I would do if I were there (and out of the cage) topping her, and generally saying things that I thought would arouse her further. I was of course hard and frustrated the whole time, but I enjoyed it very much all the same. That night I did my forty minutes, fantasizing about various things -- teasing her, being teased, taking my revenge (in ways that would both torment and delight her), and so on.

On Friday, I texted her before I started playing -- she had meant Saturday, but I thought it could only benefit me to notify her on Friday as well, and I was right. On this day, I fantasized exclusively about her teasing me -- for the first half of the time, about her teasing me via webcam, and during the second half, I added lube (I usually masturbate dry) and fantasized about how she might tease me in person. I received a call from her when I was ten minutes away from finishing. She teased me and asked me what I'd been thinking about, and I described it to her. It was very difficult to speak coherently given the physical sensations I was enjoying, but I managed to do so somehow. She reminded me to let her know when I was beginning on Saturday, we discussed the logistics of timing, and said our goodbyes for the day.

Saturday I knew would be a marathon session, and as I'd had some close calls the previous day, opted to bypass the lube so as to last longer. She was quite busy that day, but she called me nevertheless -- ONE minute before I was finished! It was easier to speak this time, as I didn't have the lube pushing me that much closer to the edge. I was more in control of my orgasm and more in control of my voice. She spoke with me briefly and when it was time, I told her my time was up. She said something vague about how she guessed I would be cumming any time now, so I asked (for clarity) if that was permission. She confirmed it, and I had a fantastic orgasm -- four days' worth. We spoke only briefly after that, less than ten minutes. I noted that I would not be putting the cage back on, and that if we used it again in the future I'd prefer to keep it to shorter durations (three days or less -- longer periods of chastity without the device are fine though) or for punishment, as I had begun having some soreness where the A ring was rubbing. She told me she was thinking over how to reward me for having followed her instructions and not having had an accident, and we said our goodbyes and hung up.

Upon later investigation, I found that I had a little bit of what seemed to be scab tissue around one side of the edge of my scrotum, where the ring had been. I never noticed any bleeding while I was in the device, just soreness, nor did I see any blood on the device, but it seems to have done something unkind to me. It was nothing serious and healed quickly, so I am not terribly concerned about it, but I will not be embarking on any long-term ventures with the CB6KS until I've experimented with it a little further to see if this was a fluke or a repeatable incident, and if it is repeatable, if I can find a way to avoid it (perhaps some lube applied where the ring rubs the skin, for instance).

Since my lady released me about a week and a half ago, I haven't put the device back on. We've spoken a few times off and on, sometimes about kinky things and sometimes about day-to-day life. It seems that we may be able to play in person after all, and perhaps quite soon -- we shall see what the rest of the week brings.

After I got out of chastity, I found that my urge to orgasm was a little odd. Three times on Saturday, not at all on Sunday, twice on Monday... I wasn't feeling the urge every day, but sometimes multiple times a day. After a while I noticed that I was only cumming on days that I'd spoken to my lady; perhaps that was coincidence, perhaps not. It's been that way ever since, with the exception of one orgasm on Friday, when I hadn't spoken to her. I noted this to her on Sunday, also noting that if you counted Friday's orgasm against Sunday's chat, the pattern wasn't broken. She asked if she should email me more often telling me to masturbate; I told her it was up to her. I haven't heard from her since. I expect she will probably contact me one way or another tomorrow.

And that brings my tale up to date... sorry for the wall of text, hope anyone who made it through enjoyed my account of the experience.

 

mikecb and jaimelynn, thanks for the tips. I couldn't find anything I'd describe as rough, but there is a bit of unevenness to it. I'll consider sanding it if I have this issue again.

 

Quick Update

I spoke to my lady on the phone briefly this afternoon, and it appears likely that we will be able to play in person on Friday. In the mean time, I haven't had an orgasm since Friday (recall that I've been having orgasms only on days when I spoke to my lady, with the exception of Friday, which I counted against our chat on Sunday). So I'm at about five days, which is longer than I was in the device when we played. I will certainly enjoy today's orgasm...

I will update again after my lady and I play if we do something chastity-related.

 

I gave myself six orgasms on Friday. Six. Too many. But I presently have no one to save them for, so sometimes that sort of thing happens.

But it does leave me feeling drained and unhappy for a while, so I haven't had one since. Holding off. Waiting to recharge.

Hoping to meet a woman who cares enough to offer me her guidance?

 

The lady I mentioned previously met with me once in early 2010, and then moved out of the area for a long while. About a year ago I discovered she was back in the area and we reconnected, and have been seeing each other about weekly since then. Now she's making plans to leave the area again, but for now she has asked that I not masturbate until I see her again on Tuesday...