My assumption is that as an FLR evolves, a measure of its success is that the man's behavior improves. If punishment is an important element in the FLR, what happens when a man improves enough that punishment doesn't seem to be warranted? The man typically *wants* punishment in one form or another (extra time in chastity, CP, whatever the couple has set up). He might begin to manufacture misbehavior just to receive these corrections--but the woman may feel manipulated by this transparent trick, and there's the risk that sneaky game-playing replaces an honest exchange. I think a way out of this quandary is for the woman to raise her standards step by step. In the beginning it will be a challenge for the man to meet the basic requirements of the FLR, such as doing household chores, providing adequate sexual service while not lobbying for any himself, following the woman's instructions, and so on. Discipline will probably be rather frequent. Eventually, if all goes well, he will learn to handle the basic requirements. It may even become second nature. At that point, the woman can start to require more than just the basics. She can start to evaluate the quality of housework, the speed of compliance with orders; she can start to expect the man to anticipate her needs rather than wait for her to spell it out. Discipline will then be administered for this level of behavior rather than just the basics. And it will be correspondingly more severe for any basic-level faults. Again, if all goes well, he may become a star. Not only does he do his chores, but he does them very well. Not only does he follow instructions, but he does so immediately as a top priority. In all areas, he does a good job of anticipating what will be required and doing it before he is asked. And at that point, she can up the standards yet again. She can start to look closely at subtleties of attitude, his tone of voice, the quality of his conversation. She can expect him to dress better. If he cooks (and he should!) she can judge whether or not he keeps track of her preferences, serves the meal at the scheduled time, and so on. This sort of thing will be the basis of ordinary discipline, and any faults on the earlier levels, that are supposed to be already acquired, will merit more severe punishment. This could go on indefinitely, level by ever-more-demanding level. No one is perfect: any man will continue to have enough faults to punish him for that he won't need to misbehave on purpose, and lapses in the lower levels could result in quite impressive punishments. His overall behavior will continue to improve, he will continue to feel the woman's power and strict attention, she will get to exercise her power and benefit from his increased efforts, and the FLR will stay honest. A win-win situation! Your thoughts?
A woman can do as you say if she wishes, but she should not feel obligated to. If she has to be stricter and stricter so the man can get his kick, who is the one leading and benefiting from the relationship? Also, if the punishments a woman metes out for negative behavior can be considered play or enjoyable by the man, she's doing it wrong. i.e. play spanking might be enjoyed but punishment spanking should be feared. That being said, there is a chance that a man might want a punishment even if he fears it because he doesn't feel like he's in the right space mentally and feels he needs the correction to get back where he wants to be. While that's selfish, whether that is a major problem depends on the woman and likely how frequently it happens.
I think the situation you describe of decreasing punishments but continued need for reinforcement of my submission is met by regular scheduled maintenance spankings, which reinforce her loving female authority. Just a few minutes every Sunday night, and the knowledge that it will occur again next Sunday, are enough in combination with her cage to reinforce my submission.
I agree. But I'm not saying anyone "has to" do anything. It just seems to me an interesting way a woman might choose to keep a disciplinary dynamic going even when the grounds for discipline might *seem* to be diminishing. Or indeed, he might want it *because* he fears it. Thanks for your comments!
I think people mix a lot of fantasy in with how a "proper" FLR should go. The most important aspect is that the couples agrees to work towards a FLR for female dominance and not just the sexual aspect. I feel I read to much about guys wanting contracts and scheduled punishments and then getting upset when their domme doesn't want to implement all the rules or forgets about the punishments. In most cases the punishments are things us males like to one degree or another even if it hurts. My Miss and I did dabble with physical punishments but it was soon realized it was more funishment than punishment and had no effect on behavior training because I enjoyed the "traditional" methods of punishment. What my Miss found most effective is either ignoring me and my requests or completely denying me sex until I could figure things out. The less compliant I was the more vanilla she became and then I had to work really hard for her to get that dominant behavior I love. The effect was exactly what she wanted out of me, she found punishments that I really didn't like and it wasn't like adding a week on to chastity or taking a crop to me. Eventually it became clear to me I needed to work harder for Miss and prove to her I wanted her as the alpha in our relationship. Once she realized my efforts, we started to make baby step improvements in our FLR but each step we take forward is on a solid foundation and something we work towards together versus me being "broken" like a horse. It's all about teamwork!