I came close to giving up trying chasity

Are you talking about certain acts associated with chastity such as cuckolding? Or was there a particular person/ couple at CM that almost put you off of chastity? No finger pointing is necessary, I'm just curious to know what exactly is bothering you?

 

Well... forget that person and just look at all the positives around here. The list of people you listed you follow are people I very much admire and respect on this forum as well. I agree it's nice to read how devoted people are to each other and how chastity has enhanced that devotion or at the very least rekindled their intimacy. I hope you are able to encourage your wife to get involved so you can treat her to the benefits of a chaste man

 

Don't let the bad ones get ya down, Hans.
Good luck.

 

Wait... did someone offended you directly, or just has a different lifestyle than you? If the former, you can just click "Ignore" and not bother with them again. If the latter, why would someone else's practice of sexuality deter you from playing out your own?

 

I'm pretty confident I know who and what your talking about and could not agree more.

 

The person you are referring... I commented on their thread. It actually bothered me a bit about having both an extramarital mistress and a wife.

That being said, I believe he was at a crossroads in his relationship that he did not know which way to turn. Does he stay with his wife that doesn't like his kinks and cross dressing, or move on and eventually try to find someone who will be fine with it. I also took it that his "mistress " was a pro, and that it wasn't a full time solution.

I suggested that he not get counseling to fix his kinks, but to find what is important in his life and to follow that. Having been cheated on before, I find it difficult to feel for someone willing to break vows, but I do know that hiding who you really are and what makes you happy isn't always the best advice.

I don't believe that he is the norm, but I do feel for him. Several years ago I was miserable. Married to someone that had no respect for me, and I was unable to share who I really was with her. We had a sexless marriage, and I once thought about bringing up chastity to her, but we were so far gone that I did not trust her enough to hold a key.

I try not to judge too much... you really don't know what any relationship truly is unless you walk a mile in their shoes... but you are right, having a mistress without her knowledge is pretty wrong and counseling will not get the genie back in the bottle.

But it should not discourage you from being the best you can be to someone you love. I love her and would not hurt her for the world. Forget about the chastity and submissive stuff, be a good person, and if the rest falls into place that's great. If not you still have a loving relationship that is more open and more meaningful than any other you've ever had.

I won't say that chastity has improved my relationship, I will say that it improved how I communicate, how I react, and my willingness to think of someone other than myself. I will be the first to admit, I am a selfish person. I have a hard time doing something that I don't want to do...I do a lot of things now that aren't in my comfort zone that I do for someone else's benefit.

Let others find their own path, enjoy trailblazing your own.

 

Do what YOU want to do well so long as your KH is happy!

Xx Wendy

 

My wife and I have been together for 40 years and are devoted to each other...I think most couples on this site feel the same way.

 

Stay the course Hans and find the way that suits you. Don't worry about feeling like those who do things different to you have any impact on you. It is people like you, who interact and offer thanks and likes, that help keep me active in this forum.

I hope that you can one day get your wife interested and involved in your own chastity based relationship. I think if you follow the advice of the people you mentioned you have a good chance of making it happen, as long as your wife is willing to give it a go and not turn it down without at least trying.