We do chastity without any D/s. My wife just teases and denies me and once outside of the bedroom I am the head of household. After four years of of chastity play my wife said something interesting at dinner. I remarked that she really seemed to like teasing me and she said no, she likes the control over me. She then went on about how after 44 years of marriage, she likes being in charge during sex and wants to extend that into our marriage but not as the fantasy stuff you read online. She is not going to boss me around and make me her slave. She simply will take my place as head of household. We are debating whether to incorporate domestic discipline since I have been into S&M for 47 years and need a little bit of that once in a while. She has used corporal punishment on occasion but she does not like to hurt me. Maybe she has changed her view of that too. This caught me by surprise but she found that her long term orgasm denial of me made me different. I do as she says and we have not had an argument in two years. When I first presented chastity play to my wife, I presented it as part of a D/s FLR and my wife got scared. She thought that she would have to do all the decision making and run all aspects of our marriage but I have been showing her that she does not have to do anything more than she does now. The only difference is that she will have final say in anything I propose. We will continue to make joint decisions on the stuff that affects our marriage since that has worked so well for us so far. She is telling me that after spending 40 years submissive to me worrying about pleasing me, she had got a taste of what it feels like to have control over a man. It also helps that her best friends run their marriages because their husbands did not age well and their wives had to take charge. I ordered her an ebook that presents a FLR in a reality way. It does talk about optional add-ons like domestic discipline, BDSM, chastity, etc.. It seems to focus on explaining how to create a FLR relationship that does not mean my wife has to be bossy or mean. She just stays the same and we each move into and out of our D/s roles as we wish but not 24/7. It approaches a FLR the same way my wife and I approach Chastity; a game that we play where we are sometimes taking on our chastity rolls and most times are just ourselves. The real interesting part to me is that my wife actually wants to live the rest of our marriage as HOH and controlling our marriage the same way she does our sex life. She even talked about how she now wants to have more sex and is having 2-3 orgasm every time we do have sex. Chastity has really opened her to being more dominant. When we moved away from our long time girlfriend I told my wife that I was willing to give her control over our marriage because I owed her big time for sharing her girlfriend with me and allowing me to date other women but she looked like a scared child and I told her she did not have to do that. She even cried because she was so scared of taking on the dominant role in our marriage. This is why I tell newbies to just present chastity on it own first and then introduce any other fetishes they hae at a later date. My wife was overwhelmed. It felt very strange to hear my wife talk about her orgasms and love of the control she has over me and wants more. So the next few months will be interesting. The book I gave her, whose name I cannot remember right now, explains that her husband still can be the same old masculine guy she married who makes her feel safe and protected. It has nothing to do with his masculinity. It is no different than in a male led marriage, the wife does not give up her femininity so why would the husband. Now that she has gotten a taste of what control feels like after living her life to please me, she is eager to live the rest of our time remaining being the Head of household in all matters. Has anyone else seen chastity change their submissive wives into more dominant women but without having to become a dominatrix or treating their husband like a slave?
Ha, when first starting out I asked my wife for FLR and she just laughed at me saying she just wanted the control in the bedroom. Now atvalmostvtwo years that has drastically changed. She is completely in charge of everything. She consults me but she had the final say in all the decisions. It's really such a turn on, I love being her domestic household hubby/ servant. I really love her just telling me flat out what to do all the time. I thought I might start to get annoyed but the more she does it the more I crave that ownership from her.
Yes, this happened to us. I think Xena equated me being chaste with her being in charge, so when the chastity expanded, so did her authority.
Things change so much in a relationship it's hard to say never or always. When we started I told her that I didn't plan on being a maid or butler, doing everything around the house just because I'm sexually submissive. She agreed. Fast forward 7 months and we have a discussion about her wanting more done. There are certain things I will never give up... financial freedom, and how I spend my free time. I won't hide either but won't be asking permission. Other than that things could change though. We first started this and she was unlocking me every night and usually ended with orgasm(her choice). Now it's usually 2 to 3 weeks between and go a week or two between unlocks(her choice). She bought a pink dress for me to wear while I do some chores around the house (guess I'm more submissive dressed up), didn't think we were going there but I agreed. Things change and I get more and more open to suggestions the further we go into this. Right now I would like her to be more demanding sexually, do this do that, right now etc....and keep doing the non sexual things on my own time frame. Example, getting up early to start her car and make coffee, I like doing that when it's my idea, would not enjoy it as much if I was told or it was expected. That being said, I realize it's not all about what I want, and things could change if she asked.