Hi CM, So my KH is very happy with the way I am behaving after a few days in chastity (she even joked she was going to keep me like this for a few months because she likes how attentive and sweet I have become...). My question to you guys is; do you have any ideas/suggestions/tips for things I can do for her to make her feel special? Thanks!
Not necessarily, some men, like myself are very very thick! I'm so thick I need to cage one head so I can use the other for my lady!
We all have those things that our KH isn't really interested in, or has limited knowledge of. Usually it is one of the things that initially attracted them to us. Ask Her opinion on how you are doing with your interest. If it's some craft, see what She thinks about your creation. Ask how it could be improved. Then try and incorporate it into your creation. For me it's music. She hears all of my songs and has input into the different variations and iterations of my creations. When She asks why I did something a certain way, I think about what inspired me in that moment. I let Her into the secret places and it let's Her know that She has access to my deepest places. That's what works for us. Hopefully you can find that secret place to let Her in that lets Her know that She is more important than your privacy.
In my opinion, It’s about respect. Don’t just tell her you’re going to go do this or that doing whatever you want…ask her if she minds if you go do it. Discretely defer to her in little mundane things to show her that you respect her opinion and her authority as the Great Lady of your house. After two or three days of this she’ll start to feel closer and more important to you (at least this is how it worked for us). When you are intimate, at a tender moment, verbally guide her by telling her that this time is just for her and not to give your needs a single thought. Tell her that you are wholly devoted to her pleasure. My wife climaxed within seconds of my whispering that in her ear! It will change your relationship!
…here’s something specific if I did that got a lot of response. I cut little strips of paper and wrote everything I loved about my wife, one item on each strip. Like, “I love the way you bite your lip when you’re up to something.” or “I love how sexy your voice sounds on the telephone.” I wrote 42 of them and put them in a crystal heart dish for her desk so she can read them anytime. Get creative and make something that takes effort.
Thats a really good article with great practical advice. You could spend the rest of your life putting those suggestions into practice! Do it!
The important thing though is to find the things that she appreciates. Many people appreciate different things and have a different "love language". I talked with a friend last night who's marriage is desperately in trouble. He told me he would serve his wife by filling her car with gas, washing her car regularly, buying her things, etc but he never connected with her emotionally. Didn't talk with her, share their hopes & dreams, didn't show appreciation and admiration through words of encouragement, etc. And now he's struggling to hang on to their marriage because he spent so much time viewing porn and masturbating.
Yes I agree, I have read it, thanks for the homework guys!! I ordered a crystal heart dish and am going to copy (is that allowed?) what Lckdnpnk did.
Probably the easiest (and most effective) thing to do is to just ask her. Don't make every inquiry directly related to her (physical) needs. Ask if there's anything you could do around the house to help. Most women carry around "mental load". Essentially it's a concept that encompasses the ongoing list of things that need to be completed, considered, etc. Decreasing that load is going to have a very positive impact on her mood and your relationship, especially if you take over some of the tasks she always does. Make sure you thank her for her contributions when possible. Also, ask her what makes her feel sexy, and how you can help foster that feeling? I'd bet dollars to donuts that it's not going to be whatever you think it is. For example, sexy lingerie might not be sufficient, but combine that with taking out the trash...
>> do you have any ideas/suggestions/tips for things I can do for her to make her feel special? What works for us is for me to write love letters. Actually, maybe "relationship letter" might be a better term. After all, the fundamental point of chastity for both of you is for you to think about her more and less about porn, masturbation, and the pussies of the women you see on the street. Doing the dishes is indirect evidence of this; actually writing about her and your marriage at least once a week, and maybe more, is direct proof of how central, how important, she has become to your thinking. It is impossible to write these letters without thinking about her for at least a few days. (It takes me almost a full week to finish one.) The rule we have is that I will not introduce chastity-related topics at all ever as a topic of conversation. (Though of course she can.) But I can say anything I like in a letter.
It is so simple. Don’t interrupt when she is talking. Listen to what she says and retain it. Observe her body language. Restrain yourself from correcting her. If it is important such as safety, then ask her if she would like to hear your input. Based on #2 and #3, you should gain a good idea of how to do more for her, and her priority. Otherwise, the suggestions above are a good place to start. It is a good thing you are asking, good luck!