do you ask to pleasure kh

Hey Tom!

Don't sweat it!!! So much of this is about what works for you BOTH!!

If she's OK with you asking then-so be it! But remember.... no means NO if it is her decision alone to make!

With regards to cumming..... some communication is vital as your wife has to know if she's going to stop or not (remember - the choice thing?!)

Talk things through and agree on what you both want! Make sure your wife has her say too and is not simply agreeing to what you wish (That one's called topping from the bottom!) It will get easier for you two!

With the absolute kindest regards

J.

 

My wife is like that. Rarely initiates sex unless many weeks have gone by. What works for us and many busy vanilla couples, is to set certain nights aside for sex and then stick to them no matter what. Many times my wife was not in the mood but ended up having multiple orgasms after teasing me and hearing my moans. You tend to get in the mood if you two are into each other and know what buttons to press.

 

@tom1980 The whole idea of a FL relationship is for you to be available when required.

 

Of course not. Show her affection by all means, but you are locked and caged. Presumably she has the keys.

 

I just pretend that I can't hear him if tries to make advances. Sometimes he puts on this "i'm forgotten" face - but I simply ignore it, and pretend not to notice. It works pretty well. He hardly ever tries anymore. Not that I punish him in anyway if he make this wrong move - I simply ignore it!
Pleasure is when I want it, and I know that he loves the fact that I'm strict about it.
But of course he can turn weak - especially if i wear some revealing or tempting clothing....

 

All good things come to those who wait

 

The two things that my wife dislikes about my chastity is if I pester her about sex or constantly talk about my chastity. We talked about this and worked out a very good arrangement. She made me understand how annoying it was to hear me talk about sex and chastity all the time and I got her to understand that when she does not recognize my chastity, I feel abandoned and think that she is just does not care about what I am going through.

The date nights solved one of her problems with chastity but they are not carved into stone. We are a loving husband and wife, not master and slave. That means we are flexible and aware of each others needs. We may add a date night, change the days or even skip one date but I no longer pester her about sex because I know my wife will offer it because she loves me and knows that it makes my chastity easier.

She also now acknowledges my chastity by word and/or deed, at least once a day. It is usually a caress of my CB6000s or a question about how I am doing. That is all I needed to stop bringing it to her attention all day. She now knows that while she can just put chastity out of her mind and watch TV, I have a constant reminder of it between my legs, so it is not so easy for me to ignore.

There is no right or wrong way to play at chastity. Treat it as sex play and not something that has rules and rewards for going the longest without an orgasm. We finally got into it as our regular sex life when we did it our way. Keep in mind that more post about what they do, than actually do it. The guy who says he has been denied for 5 years may be a 17 year old boy who masturbates twice a day.

One more thing that helped us at the beginning. You can set aside some time each day to discuss chastity. That is a good time to inform your wife that you feel that you need sex to keep going on, or realize that your asked for 1 year chastity period is not realistic, etc.. Constant communication, as said in previous posts is what makes it work. You may come across advice that your wife is a special goddess and you should do anything she says as you have no say in anything but I wager most who say that, do not actually live that 24/7. If you want to be your wife's slave, then go for it but I tell you from experience that after a few weeks of that you will realize that you are worth more than that.

 

My wife sounds similar to yours in that she would not ask for me to give her oral or anything sexual, so in that area i make the first move and try my luck every night. She has started asking, even demanding, foot rubs and massages and when i ask her to let me have an orgasm she has started saying "no i want a foot rub later". She calls me a sex pest if i come on to her too much so i usually just make one move a night now. I would say give it time and allow her to find her own niche.

 

When Mistress is in the mood, Mistress tells me to "get the blindfold" and put it on.

 

All the time, but its up to her whether she accepts my offer.

 

We have a monthly schedule.

3 to 4 nights a week is oral sex for her only or if she wants more with me involved.
Mine are her at her discretion if at all.

 

Ever heard of the term "manage up"? I think that when some men who desire slavery have vanilla women who have no idea how to be in charge, it is OK to manage up a bit. Top from the bottom to get the relationship going. It is almost more like you are trying to empower her and perhaps liberate a woman from her societal view of life. Eventually, as she ages and matures, she will come to like being in charge and won't let you top from the bottom.

 

yes that's prob right, cos after a bit if you keeps asking you will be smacked by the Lady.

 

The biggest thing is making her get used to your chastity as part of life, rather than some week or two experiment you once tried. Otherwise, she might see it as a failed aspect of the relationship. That happened to us a few times and it was difficult to get back into a mistress/slave power exchange.

The best way to top from the bottom is cafeteria style. Instead of saying, do this to me, write down five ideas for her to choose from. Explain doing one or two of these would be good for A. Empowering her as a liberated woman of the 21st century, like so many strong women we see these days, and B. Reminding you, a slave, that you are not just pretending to be a slave but are learning to feel like an actual one. I like to point out that this is for real, not just some game. My wife sees it that way now but early on was more playful about it all, not necessarily real life about it.

OK, pursue a few policies besides chastity that ensure your slavehood isn't enforced merely through chastity. Make wearing women's underwear (my wife has me wear those boyshorts panties) one of your options for her to pick. My wife makes me wear a shock collar on my balls after 8 pm so she can shock me at her pleasure. I can take it off if I awake after midnight. I have do have the dishes done before I go to bed if I desire to sleep in the same bed as her. I also have make sure the bed is made daily. And if I ever hope to have orgasms, I do what she says. One more thing, I can only have alcohol with permission. Breaking this rule would mean sleeping while bound on the floor in the basement, which would suck and not give me much for sleep. I don't break this rule anymore. And it is sexy at times when she drinks and doesn't allow me any.

All of my rules came about as cafeteria choices. Anymore, she tells me to draw up the ideas, rather than her coming up with them, and then she picks. I usually give her five options. She usually picks two, it seems. Once in a while I ask if she ever wants to go back to having a vanilla relationship. She always says no. I do work my ass off for her, though, but I feel I have become rather mentally adjusted to slavery that I wouldn't fight back anymore. Which is really the goal. Break the slave.

 

Ill need to clarify a bit.

We have kids..young kids....so if somthing does come up kids are Sick or she is truly is not well etc then its left untill the next night.

And yes my hope is she will eventually just take control of the situation.