Fear is the Mind Killer

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by MidKnight, Jul 1, 2011.

Random Thread
  1. MidKnight
    Offline

    MidKnight New member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    11:50 AM
    My journey started a few months ago when I put on my cage for the first time. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. Relief? Satisfaction? I'm not sure. But I knew that what I was about to embark upon was a journey that will change my life.

    There are some men who can only last seconds during intercourse with a woman. I have the exact opposite problem. I last too long. I've had an intense sex session with a woman who had multiple orgasms in our 6 hour fuck session. I didn't even come close once. With my wife, we have the same problem, I lasted too long. After 15 minutes she's done, ergo so am I without coming close to finishing. So after she goes to bed and sleep, I slip out to my computer and watch porn and masturbate. I masturbate every single night. I don't do it to cum, I do it to complete a journey. To have something to do just to do it. Because I'm so bored.

    I'm depressed so i masturbate. I masturbate and I become depressed. It's a vicious catch 22 that never lasts. To cum without coming close to orgasm is a problem. And I needed to change it.

    Sex with my wife had turned to Vanilla ice cream also. Not the nice kind. No, no, no, the generic store brand. It got to the point where I just had no desire and couldn't get hard to have sex. A blow to my 34 year old dick. My doctor gave me pills and viagra, and nothing seemed to work.

    Then I remembered my cage. I put it on for a few days, my wife and I made love and it was the best sex we had in ages. I actually came within her 15 minute time limit.

    Then I tried it for a week, taking it off during the day to go to work. I would put it on the second I got back home, sleep through the night and then have my wife unlock me before I go to work. Sex was great.

    Then I got an idea. I wanted to see how long I would go without loosing taking it off at all or cumming. My wife, who still isn't so sure about this, eventually agreed. I put the key on her keychain, and sealed the other in an envelope and had her sign her name over the edges and went off.

    A week went by and I was still in my cage. I felt emotions I've not felt in years. Strange emotions. I realized, not only was this a physical challenge, me not masturbating and staying completely locked up 24/7, but a mental one as well. In fact, it was much more of a mental challenge than anything else.

    Week two started, and I was horny, starting to go a little bit crazy, but I was determined to continue. Things were happening to me. I was doing more and more things for my wife, who really didn't understand why I was doing so many things for her. I was looking for her approval, yes, but more to get to know her more as a person, as my best friend, rather than just the sex object she had become to me. I started understanding her a bit more, and this was only after 10 days of being completely locked up, and 15 days without masturbating or cumming.

    This morning I woke up with another wet dream in my underwear. The second in two days. I've never had wet dreams in my life. I knew my prostate was extremely full, because the day before at work I would get hard and I would secrete some pre-cum, or whatever it is. My dick would get wetter in my cage and the cold plastic squeezing my hardening cock would drive me off the wall even further. This morning was the last straw. I couldn't take it anymore. Every morning was rough, but this was not the same. I had ADD of horniness, a variety of urges.

    Calm down. It's ok. This is natural. You can get through this.

    I'm so horny, I really can't think straight. My insides hurt, it's like my bladder is full, but I know it's not. I don't know this new physical feeling that's been building. Finally I grab my prostate stimulater, slip it in and start going back and forth, and low and behold I start cumming without orgasming. I realized, this is what "Milking" was. Another first for me.

    After a few minutes, I stopped completely satisfied. Lying in bed, I felt a release I haven't had in years. Then a horrible wave swept over me, and I couldn't resist it anymore. I slipped my dick out from my caged cell, balls still locked, threw some lube on and started whacking it.

    The result was several levels of orgasm I've never experienced in my life. It felt like I almost lost consciousness for a bit, it was that good. And the amount that came out was the most I've ever seen in one place.

    Finished. And then a final wave swept over me. Extreme disappointment. I knew I could have held out this urge like I have been in the past 15 days, but I lacked the will power to deny myself the most basic thing in the world. How could I do this to myself? Why did I allow myself to do this?

    I openly wept in my bed for a few minutes. I wanted to see how long I can go without a simple thing, but realized it wasn't simple at all. It was the hardest journey I've taken. I really don't understand why I felt that way, and still feel depressed I let myself down, and my wife.

    But now, I realize. Today is only day 1 all over again.

    Thanks for reading this long blog. I just had to type my emotions out to remember what I actually went through in these past 15 days.


    Day 1,
    I am locked up, denying myself from even touching myself. I will do better.
     
  2. SirBottom
    Offline

    SirBottom Naga di Kandang

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2011
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    12:50 PM
    Honestly, I think you answered your own questions there. You call it "the most basic thing in the world," and are terribly disappointed you only made it 15 days on your first go of any length. Me, that sounds greatly impressive.

    What does your wife think?

    SB

     
  3. muzzledman
    Offline

    muzzledman muzzledman

    Joined:
    May 16, 2010
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    10:50 AM
    everything becomes the power of the mind,the physical can be overcome.it is our most primal instinct which makes it such a challenge. every day to cum or not to cum?
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice