As we Age.

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by gingers_sub, Sep 11, 2019.

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  1. gingers_sub
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    gingers_sub Junior Member

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    #1 gingers_sub, Sep 11, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
    So I've just started back in chastity after a 4 year break.

    Before the break and during our kinky sex lives have been wonderful.
    She has been sexually satisfied by one man or another, never me except for oral.
    She recently broke it off with her Bull/Lover of 5 years.

    I am getting the impression she is losing interest in sex in general. Even my oral attentions.
    For many years now she has had no use for my inadequate sized and premature ejaculation prone penis but we stayed intimate In other ways.

    I should not that we are both 51 years of age.

    I fear that maybe this time around as her sex drive declines I may be In a lock and forget situation.
    Not really sure how to view this.
    On one hand I have always believed its her sexual pleasures that matter not mine. I always got off from her pleasure not my own. Although I do enjoy a good wank as much as the next guy,.
    So if she no longer desires sex than perhaps I should just shrivel away in my cage and bypass the remaining years I could pleasure my self with jerking off.
    One one hand I don't want to waste those years if she has lost interest but on the other hand the idea of giving up those same years as a sacrifice to my belief that mine still do not matter is actually a real turn on.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. lockedhusband11
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    lockedhusband11 Long term member

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    My wife doesn't allow me to masturbate now. Period.
    So, unless She chooses to have sex with me, I'm not going to have sex with someone else, and I'm definitely not going to be jerking off, then what reason is there for me to be unlocked?
    I'm not allowed erections any more because they just get me into trouble
     
  3. Maid Denise
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    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

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    My wife is starting to lose her sex drive also. So we had a serious talk about this ,because my sex drive is still very strong at 62. After our talk , she told me not to worry, because I am her man and I am not going anywhere . that I would still get milking and orgasms ,because no other women was ever going to touch me . It's nice being in chastity but it's even better being in chastity and being loved .
     
  4. gingers_sub
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    gingers_sub Junior Member

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    #4 gingers_sub, Sep 11, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
    We Have an understanding that I do not ask for sex or release. My ejaculations are at her descretion if she is in the mood to provide one. Which for the last many years has been for me to jerk myself off. Which takes less than a minute now. No sex = No stamina.
    So I don't want to bring this subject up either especially if I am wrong about her declining sex drive.
    That would be a serious mistake.
    Perhaps occassiinaly she will remember my locked up status and allow me some relief but it may be very infrequent if ever and again if she is not orgasming I kinda feel I shouldn't be either.
    Then of course my imagination runs wild and I think of the day many years down the road and I am finally released from my chastity cage and discover I no longer have the function or perhaps desire to cum myself.
    The idea of finally being released after a decade of chastity or so, to discover the days of jerkin off have been passed and is no longer an option is very arousing.
    Right up there with the fact I have already squandered the years of enjoying my wife's youthful body.
    Other than licking her pussy I have had no sexual contact with her.
    Don't take this the wrong way but other men have enjoyed 15 years of her youthful assests. Now as she has aged she has put on quite a bit of weight (never a slender girl) her boobs droop and sag. Her ass is not as smooth and firm as it was. Even her pussy just isn't the same. Its looser of course and she has decided to grow back a full bush. But somehow in general it just seems to be not as alluring as it used to be. Hard to explain.
    I can't seem to not be excited by the prospect of losing out on my final years of possible ejacuations.
    I am sure its just a crazy fantasy at this point...........maybe.
     
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  5. b_quark
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    b_quark Long term member

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    My wife has never had much of a sex drive either. Or at least that's how it always appeared. She has confessed on several occasions that she would be much more interested in sex if I had a penis worth having sex with and if I could control my orgasms. She quite enjoys her dildo, my tongue, my fingers, etc. Still, she doesn't initiate even that as often as I would want, but that's her prerogative, of course. The thing is, she has told me that she masturbates quite a bit more than I ever realized.

    I guess what I can say that might be relevant to your situation is that my wife is much more interested in my penis when it is locked. If I am unlocked she basically doesn't touch it, doesn't want to have sex with it, and only occasionally grudgingly allows me to play with it in her presence. She has made it 100% clear that my penis is not to be touched in any way when we have sex (with her dildo). But when I am locked she can't keep her hands off it! She loves teasing me and watching me get frustrated and horny. The other day she ordered me to sit still and she proceeded to rub my tiny penis through the bars of the cage. I couldn't help but squirm as my penis hardened in its tiny cage. I was so horny and helpless to do anything to the point where I wanted to beg her to stop but held my tongue. Her devilish smile told me she knew it. Finally, she was content and scooted back to the other end of the couch where she continued reading her book and ignoring me while I sat there panting and squirming for several minutes.
     
  6. gingers_sub
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    gingers_sub Junior Member

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    The thing is my wife has always had an incredible sex drive. Insatiable in fact but over the last year or so I've seen a drastic reduction. She has turned down my offer of oral sex at least twice recently.
    That's out of the norm.
    I hope if she no longer wants sex I can suffer without release myself. I think its the right way to do things.
    Or better yet maybe its a phase and I will get to eat pussy for a long while yet.
     
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  7. madams-sissysub
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    50 is the new 40! So they say, so try not to write it all off yet, it could just be a lull. Both madam and I have always had high sex drives, and like you i am not permitted sex with here, or to masturbate. Have you tried to have a talk with her and see how she is feeling?
     
  8. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Long term member

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    In a similar boat here. For me it was a problem that when I was masturbating, or was allowed to find pleasure with kink partners, our quality of sex life suffered. Now that I'm fully locked, I find that even though we use a strap-on and not my penis, that I'm more excited, and enjoy it more than I did when we used my cock for sex. That's maybe 3 times a month, but it's still really amazing, due to my level of chastity/denial.

    My keyholder weaned me off using my dick for pleasure, ending in her allowing me to penetrate her, before accepting full time chastity/denial. One ejaculation in my cage, every 1-2 months. No un-locked erections. Now I'm facing that same fear. I'm essentially living an impotent life, that may well continue right up to and into age induce impotence. At 52, that's definitely a scary thought!! I try to focus on all the amazing kinky sex I've been allowed over the past 20 plus years. I remind myself that I prefer, and have committed myself to giving pleasure as my way of having pleasure. It's still a terrifying thought and reality, but at the same time, nothing turns me on more than knowing I no longer use it for pleasure, which is the biggest catch-22 of having a hardcore denial fetish!!!
     
  9. locked_cuckold
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    locked_cuckold Active member

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    Men going into chastity have this same choice - each day you go without sex is a day without that instantaneous pleasure.

    Each day is also a gift to her. Even if she doesn't want sex from you (I know my wife doesn't) she could use the attention, devotion and love.

    Chastity also focuses you and keeps you calm. I don't focus on what I'm 'losing' because that high I get is fleeting, I focus on what I'm gaining and how I'm a better person.
     
  10. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Long term member

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    I'm 59 and my Wife(KH) will be 70 this year. We have been married for 30 years. At first, like many, I'm sure, our sex drive was great. We would have sex 3-4 times a day. Everything was on the table. Oral, anal, or PIV. We were not into any bondage or MC at the time. Over the years, it slowed and the last 5 years, because of my wives age, PIV was not appealing to her anymore. We got into a lot of oral and masturbation. A year ago, I brought up MC to my wife, her being a teacher, she had to read up on it. When she saw the cage, we couldn't get on here and on me fast enough. Since the first day, she has gotten into the lifestyle full steam ahead. She has as many orgasms now as she wants. She has even had a few on the same day. As for me, I get to cum when she wants to see me get hard and have an orgasm. Which isn't too often. I was pretty spoiled back in the day. My Wife always took care of my needs first. Now, it's the other way around. I guess, she still has control, but in a different way. The MC lifestyle has put the excitement back into our lives and both our sex lives.
     
  11. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    Wonderful! I love to learn these success stories in marriages, it inspires me.
     
  12. QueenOfSwords
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    Verified Female

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    Me too.
     
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  13. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    My wife has long cycles of being interested in sex and ... not being interested. They're for various reasons, some hormonal, some other. Being caged absolutely helps me take the long view, that this too shall pass. Of course, it's both the active times as well as the inactive times that pass.

    I love to pleasure her but when she's in an uninterested cycle she doesn't want any of that. The wheel is turning. The last few mornings her sexual energy was awakened - it was great! She teased me almost to the point of me bursting out of the cage. I playfully demanded "Give me the key!". NO she said "I'm in charge!"

    Music to my ears.
     
  14. gingers_sub
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    gingers_sub Junior Member

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    OK so here is an update.

    Kinda confused but not in a negative way.

    I have been locked since the last week of August. Went over a month without the cage removed then I was told to remove it to do a a proper shaving of my genitals.
    The cage stayed off for about a week and I figured she had lost interest and my chastity was over, again.

    Then out of the blue I was told to do a good thorough grooming during my shower because the cage was going back on. That night she also gave me the pleasure of eating her pussy. She came real hard and actually squirted on my face as I licked her pussy.
    I was locked in chastity as I licked her and remain that way.

    She also has made mention that she has a nice little bag to put my device in while we are at the airport for our trip next week.
    So it looks like I will be spending our anniversary vacation in St. Lucia in chastity.
    I am going to point out to her soon that my current device should be airport safe and see if she decides to just leave it on.

    So I am not sure if she is losing her sex drive or not. Perhaps its just going to be sporatic for a while.
    Either way I am happy and still hopeful for continuing chastity.
     
  15. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    Good grief you are 51 not 91, i am glad I don’t think like that !!
     
  16. ChasteBoi150
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    ChasteBoi150 Active member

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    I am only 33 and have been locked fairly regularly for the last three years.

    But I can tell you this I could not have been locked at 21! I would have been way too undisciplined to make it!

    It has gotten much easier for me the more I do it and the longer I stay locked.

    Really hoping to find a new keyholder soon so I can make this more permenant.
     
  17. gingers_sub
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    gingers_sub Junior Member

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    andy.......

    What's wrong with what I have posted?
    I thought I was illustrating that I am good with all possibilities.

    Which at the age of 51 lowered sex drive is very common and likely.

    This site has no room for negative input.
     
  18. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Long term member

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    Nothing wrong with what you posted!! My wife is 53, and has always had a lower sex drive. She had allowed me to explore kink for decades, partly because she knew I was more sexual and very kink oriented. Now she has a bit lower drive again, but we do have sex (me wearing a strap-on) 3-4 times a month. My keyholder is 50, and she is pretty much non orgasmic, and has little interest in actual sex, and no interest in orgasm...which has made finding a partner difficult over the years.

    Now that I'm in 24/7 chastity, I face the same dilema you had posted about earlier. Neither woman needs my dick. Both like me locked and denied. My keyholder has been working for years now to enforce the chastity, but also condition me to reduce my need and desire for sexual pleasure or release. In this state, I suit both women far better than I did when I stil masturbated or had sex.

    I masturbate locked, to empty out, once every 1-3 months. Maybe once a year, my keyholder will make me masturbate unlocked so she can watch, and tell me what a disgusting habit it is.

    Sex-wise though, I realized and was genuinely anxious about the reality that if I remain as I am, and obey the rules of my keyholder and wife, that my days of piv sex and getting oral are over. (neither are really into getting oral either, which is a bummer, as chastity makes me crave giving) This is, as you pointed out, both terrifying and exciting, if you have a denial fetish, as many of us here do!!!

    i've said to my keyholder that "Holy crap...I may be locked and denied till I am no longer able to use it anymore!". To which the usual reply is "That would be good! You're not using it, so what's the fuss? It pleases me, and that's what's important.".

    Now I actually like the thought that I am repaying the years of exploration and sexual freedom, with permanent chastity.

    it's a catch 22 isn't it???

    Still, there's nothing worse than being locked and forgotten, denial fetish or not. Glad things have picked up at home for you!!!
     
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  19. dre8car
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    dre8car Always Locked and Rarely Cum - Lori 8b

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    I have never had the benefit of a kinky sex life with my wife. I have tried many things to keep our sex life interesting and to spark my wife's desire. All my efforts have had disappointing results. The last one being my current locked chastity. I think my wife is becoming asexual. I had hoped that my chastity would spark something but it has only been a quick grab of my cage after an embrace and infrequent HJ. I fear a lock / forget situation too but it has been lock with minimal attention.

    In 2019, we have had PIV twice for a few minutes each then HJ finish. I haven't had a proper BJ in more than 2 years. She doesn't even seem interested in me going down on her anymore either. Chastity has helped me find ways to be happy while being horny. So this is 50, eh?
     
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  20. young88
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    young88 Long term member

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    50 plus sucks
     
  21. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    It beats the alternative.
    Plus if you take care of yourself it’s not so bad.

    I’d (almost) kill to be in the shape Jack LaLane was in in his 90s.

    And Marie Osmond looks amazing in her late 50s. Sorry she was the first really attractive woman over 50 I could think of.

    And Betty White is an inspiration in her 90s.
     
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  22. CuckeldBull
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    CuckeldBull Long term member

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    My wife is medically unable to enjoy PIV. I pleasure her with my tongue, external vibrator, n cock to clit. I stay caged to deny myself n once a week... 2weeks if I can hold out she will use the vibrator on me n masturbate me. Doesnt take long!
     
  23. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Long term member

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    Helen Mirren!!! Helen Mirren!!! :)
     
  24. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    I’d never heard of her.
    But doing a Google search I see she’s an amazingly beautiful 70 something. So as someone who adores older women, I have to agree, she’s aged gracefully and looks great.
     
  25. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Long term member

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    50s will usually be when menopause hits, and that’s a roller coaster of big hormonal changes for women. My wife is coming out the other side of it, sex drive returned. Now in our mid 50s and the sex has never been better, but it’s different. Chastity, denial, my newly found erogenous zone of my nipples. We do PIV very rarely now because she much prefers me to go down on her, better orgasms, fair enough.

    Communication is key, as we age and change we need to keep talking to each other and recognise that the sexual dynamic can change, but it can still be wonderful.
     
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