Hi, I am sharing this journal with you all. You can also find it at konicekword.wordpress.com Thanks!!
My first post Posted on January 29, 2016 This is to be a private journal between myself and my Goddess. It is supposed to be a place where I write down my thoughts, and dreams, and fears, and she can read it at her leisure. It is really just for us, privately, but she can decide to share it publicly if she one day chooses to. I guess. I will start this blog by introducing myself. Today is my 43rd birthday. I am married with two beautiful children and 3 dogs, and the most beautiful wife/Goddess/dominant in the entire world. I live in Los Angeles, and I work in music. My Goddess is the most generous and loving and clever person I have ever met. I am completely in love with her and am hoping that I can work hard and please her in the coming year and beyond. We have had a rough time in the past, basically all of it was due to my immaturity and selfishness, but we are both trying to start a new life together, with love and caring and honesty. These are the most important things for us in the future. However, we also have decided to explore a D/S BDSM relationship for the future. So, I am considering this the very beginning of my life as a sub, or a slave to the woman of my dreams and the Goddess I love. I have been in Lori 2C chastity device for nearly a week now, as I am working in London for the week. It is to be a “kick-start” of a possibly long term of orgasm denial for me. Which makes me extremely nervous and excited at the same time. Mostly, I have found that the chastity device (I will now call it the “cage” from now on.) focuses my energy and my mind on my Goddess, and away from my own self-centeredness and pleasure. I feel that I have a way to get very overly excited about these types of things. And I am probably talking about them too much, and I have to be careful to respect my Goddess’s need to have a mix of love and gentleness and genuine caring, with all of the more sexual D/S stuff. So, I am working on that. The truth is, I miss her and just want to snuggle with her more than anything. She has taken to sending me very very hot selfies while I am on this trip. They make me feel completely horny when I see them. Some of the photos contained her “punishment” shoes and a cane. She has done some light punishments to me before, but we have only had one official “session” so far, and she has told me that she was holding back to be sure that I liked it. I am very excited and hopeful that she will be so kind as to do another punishment session with me soon. I love being tied up by her, and I am hoping she won’t hold back next time and punish me as much as SHE wants to, not as much as she thinks perhaps I want to. In fact, I am really hoping that she decided to find where my limits are. (and then push them a little more). That makes me really excited. For this blog, I have decided to follow the advice of some of the better D/S BDSM websites that say a new slave should keep a journal that the Dominant can read easily at anytime. It is supposed to be a place where the slave can talk about the BDSM thoughts, and the relationship thoughts openly. That way the dominant can know what is going on in the slave’s head, without having to be bothered by having to listen to it all the time. There are lots of other thoughts that I have about how much I love my Goddess, and our personal relationship, and how important that is to me. For now, I look forward to writing about all of the new experiences we have together.
After another week Posted on February 5, 2016 My Goddess told me it was time to write in my journal again. I got back from my trip where I was greeted by my Goddess. We changed to a CB-6000 for the flight back. I was on FaceTime with her, so she could monitor my changing from one device to the other. She would have much preferred for me to not be able to touch myself at all, but at that point we did have the CB-6000. However, now that we have it, she informed me that we will be using that for all future trips, so that I don’t have any access at all to my cock from the time I say goodbye to her, until the time I arrive safely back home. After arriving back home, we feel rather naturally into a schedule of me giving her orgasms a few times a day. (I am very lucky in that my Goddess is regularly able to orgasm 3 or 4 times every session.) I started to get crazy with desire, but Goddess decided that she was getting bored with me asking to be let out of the Cage, so she forbid me to say that any more. (I am still working on doing that, it is a work in progress!!) The culmination with all of that, was when I used a dildo on her. I was still licking her clot, but able to fuck her with the dildo. The dildo actually looks a lot like me, (though a couple inches longer than me.) It drove me totally crazy, watching her pussy lips stretch over the head of the dildo, and then watching it sink into the length of her. She would arch her back and react, and I would lick her clit. It was all very hot, and my cock was pressed hard against the Lori 2C. That type of activity proceeded for a few days, until the day came when my Goddess decided that it was time to tie me to the bed, and have some fun with me. I can’t tell you how hot it is to be tied to the bed with Goddess wearing a very sexy latex outfit with sexy very high black heels on. My Goddess could seriously be a model, and she looked absolutely incredible. After tying me down, and her knowing that I had a good look at how hot she was, she decided to blindfold me. Saying, “You need to be with yourself for a while.” She then proceeded to give me the most exciting experience of my life. She removed my cage and washed me with a we cloth, then she tied shoelaces tightly around my balls, and began to stroke me with her hands and mouth. It didn’t take long for me to start getting VERY excited by this. I could faintly hear a vibrator in the distance. She then reminded me that I was not going to cum that day. The excitement that I felt by this was unbearable. I wanted to cum so much, yet the shear knowledge that I belonged to her, and she could and “hopefully” would, not allow me to cum, and she would put me back into the cage, and she would continue my waiting period for much longer. She proceeded to give me 3 ruined orgasms, one after the other. When my cum slowly dribbled out, she sounded delighted, and said “good boy”. It has now been 2 weeks since my last orgasm. She has probably had about 30 since then. She keeps teasing me that she is going for a ratio of 100 to 1. This of course drives me crazy. Some times she crawls above me while she is naked and rubs her nipples on my chest and asks me if I want to put my cock in her. This of course, drives me completely crazy. So as of today, I am incredibly horny, and really want to have sex with her. And yet, I can see her point that if we go for longer (even perhaps much longer) before I am allowed an orgasm, there is something very beautiful in it.) I am basically okay with that, even though it is torture. The only thing I mind, is when she says that she might not be able to wait that long to have a hard “real” cock in her, and might go out and find a stranger somewhere to fuck, while I am in the cage. She says it would be best if his name was “Alfonzo”. I know she is kidding, but it still drives me crazy when she teases me about it. Which of course delights her.
Beginning of a long lockup? Posted on February 17, 2016 It has been over a week since I had my last orgasm. It wasn’t my Goddess’s plan to let me out. It was just that I didn’t do a very good job of lubing my cage, and I had a few superficial scratches and injuries, so my Goddess felt obliged to take me out for a few days. (She was NOT happy about that.) However, once I was out, luckily for me, she really likes my cock, and she let me have sex with her, and have an orgasm. (I actually had 3 that day!) Hooray!! After that, I managed to do something very stupid, and have a fight with her. Then I had to leave town. I left town and wasn’t even put back in my cage for the trip. She said that the cage was a privilege that had to be earned. I was so busy on the trip, and I was staying in the room with my brother, that I didn’t have any time to masterbate, or enjoy any of that free time. (I also felt guilty for disappointing my Goddess so much, that it wasn’t really a sexy time.) When I got back home, my Goddess immediately put my back in the cage, and has been informing me that it will probably be at least 6 weeks before I am let out. She then proceeded to allow me to worship her, and give her 3 nice orgasms, and she was sure to have me use the dildo, which is the replacement for my cock. She was so very sexy and wet. She was making all of the sex sounds that I love. I was so horny I couldn’t take it! After she had 3 big orgasms, and the dildo was still fully in her. I went on top of her just like I do when we are having sex. I am still in the cage, but I could slowly press my caged cock on the dildo, and it would move deeper inside of her. My face against her face, my caged cock against her wet pussy full of the dildo. She said that she loved it, and that it was beautiful. She said that she can’t wait for me to put the strap-on on with the dildo, while I am in the cage. The shear thought of having my face next to her face as she cums with her vibrating herself, and the dildo from my strap-on deep inside of her, makes me crazy. I was pretty moody after that session, and stayed up for a while feeling very horny, while my goddess slept happily next to me. The next morning, I gave my Goddess three more orgasms, this time just with my tongue and fingers. (Nothing for konicek, of course.) If anything, I am feeling like I am being punished for having an argument with my Goddess last week, and for saying something I shouldn’t have. Plus, I left town to be with some of my friends. Before writing this journal entry today, I was feeling a bit ignored, and sorry for myself. However, in realizing how right she is, that I don’t deserve anything nice yet, I realize that once again I have the most clever, sexy, beautiful Goddess in the world. We decided that I am not to tell her how much I want to have sex with her, for at least a week. I am not allowed to ask to be out of the cage, or many any suggestions as to what we should do, or what she should do, for a month. She was getting tired of me only talking about that, and she wants to resume normal conversation and life with out having to think about me in my cage. So, she has forbidden me to talk about it any more. I wonder what the future will feel like, with me being in the cage, and not allowed to talk about it, and us just resuming normal life, talking about other things, me giving her orgasms, or making love to her with my strap-on. All, the while, I am in my cage and not allowed to complain or have any sour looks at all.