I know that most guys will say that the woman determines when they can have an orgasm. However, I do not see most men not having a say in it. If someone's wife denied them an orgasm for a year when the guy wants to have one each week, it is not going to work out well. There has to be some sort of input from the guy. That is the way it is with my wife and I. I will tell her how long I would be comfortable with and she can do it sooner or even a little later than that time period but not too much longer. Just enough time to keep me guessing. How does it work for you? For you guys, do you have any say in your chastity period even if just at the beginning when limits are discussed? How about the women here? Do you just keep your husband/sub in chastity for whatever time period you want without any input from him? My wife, her various girlfriends and I, always set up limits for all of our fetish play. They would then ask me if I wanted them to push those limits and I usually said yes. After the general framework of our fetish play was established, I would either go into submissive mode with no further input unless asked or top from the bottom if one of them did not know how to use the equipment or get the desired result, safely. Once they told me that they were comfortable going on their own, I would stop topping them. It may not be everyone's submissive dream but it provided all of us with great sexual experiences where we all enjoyed what we were doing. I am not naturally submissive so I consider being submissive a voluntary surrender to a woman, but will become the alpha male when required to be so. It worked for us for a very long time and preserved our marriage despite many different outside playmates. Cannot argue with success.
hi there Again, each to their own. Me and my sub, I decide when he gets to cum, completely, and without question. He did know from the last climax that it would be at least 3 months, but that's not to say that he will cum again 3 months from the last one, in our case that was a minimum. Most of the time, he doesnt want to cum, he enjoys being edged, and i love to keep him as hard as i can for as long as i can, usually about 2.5 hours at a time, but this in no rule, just the way it tends to happen. I do try to push him closer and closer to the limit without him actually cumming, but he knows its completely my decision as to when he might/will come next. lol, he came last year on his birthday 17.10 and then on the 27th december, i often joke that he was allowed to cum on his last birthday, but wont necessarily cum on his next one!!! lol he is due to be 60 in a couple of years time, he might get to wait till then!!!!
We have modified our chastity lifestyle over the years and its developed as my wife has learnt what she really wants from keeping me locked 24/7. For me my fantasy, is to have my orgasms completely controlled by my wife, I have also explained to her, I wished her to treat me just like a toy. She has not insisted on me earning release in fact there are no rules as such, just her whim.
My wife makes ALL the decisions when it comes to the chastity & permission to have an orgasm. We discussed it about 5 or 6 years ago & it gradually became the permanent way for us. i absolutely love it & do not want it to change. i know she enjoys that i am much more eager to please her whether it is physically/sexually or just doing things in general at home. Some people are a little shocked & confused when i tell them that the mental & physical desires of "wanting to cum all the time" are more enjoyable than actually cumming.
@barbara desmonsche - You stricking A could point OK, -Having embraced the lifestyle and discovered the true potential along the way, - we are partial, when we judge "outsiders" rejection and "You must be a crazy freak- Go get your head examined" attitude... But, - IF ONLY THEY KNEW... Cause it makes perfectly sense. Feeling lust, desire and horny all day, all night, - feeling every sexual tension in everything - all the time, is - measured by simple math - so much more than ever so frequent robotic releases. An add to that the the infrequent releases you after all gets - when she sees fit - is earthshaking compared to the less enthusiastic routine jobs, - that you used to pull of... If only Someone could have told me, and convinced me, - many years ago.... To be honest - I think - they would have had no luck with me.. You have to go up the mountain yourself, - to be blessed with the view...
Of course my wife! And she never informs me in advance whether we're having sex tonight & I'm going to be released. So the moment she indicates my release, my cock starts throbbing inside my cage, desperate to come out & erect hard!
We do chastity to keep me in a condition that my wife prefers me in. Horny and very agreeable to do whatever she asks and like it. I have only gone 2 weeks and am working on a month right now, but I do not see much of a difference between the intensity of my orgasms when I used to have them every few days, and the one I had after 10 and 14 days. The difference does not seem to be that much better to justify having fewer orgasms. I think you reach a point where add more to something does not really matter that much because the thing you have is more than satisfying the way it is. We are all different though, so what my experience is may be different than most others. This has just been my observation about my chastity over the last few months. I would imagine that the benefits we individually get out of chastity determine the length of time we remain in it.
Well @RockyB - You are oh so right - its All about keeping You in a condition that she prefers. BUT - Thats why I am kept on at least 1 month apart orgasms,. Not because it makes orgasms better than after 2 weeks, or even one week. She prefers for me to be All about her in services, in housechores, in accepting her leadership in our everyday life, and she has detected a servere decline in my standards just after release. And she is oh so right. Therefore she Keeps pushing the limits. I used to Wank it at least Once pr Day on top of the sex I had with my wife before the change of lifestyle. Now I love the submissive feeling, being inside the bubble of admiration and Wanting to please her in every Way. If it was All about pursuit for better orgasm for me pusling the limits further would not ADD to the experience, I Think..... - but it is not! And yes we ARE All different. The kick and joy I get from knowing that she finds pleasure in me and my conduct, - is so much more rewarding to me than an extra orgasm pr. Month. It is so much more but also pure and simple math - at least to me....
[/USER] And 99% of the time I agree with you wholeheartedly. I have considered it but I'm just not ready nor do I think I will ever be ready to give up cumming completely. I really do enjoy my orgasms it just that afterwards I'd like to be able to instantly go to 2 or 3 weeks into my wait for the next one. Its different when you are in a relationship though. Perhaps if a partner told me that I would not be cumming for year and was really in to edging T&D etc. Then after denying me for a year asked me if I wanted to cum, and it all stops now OR go another year and we'll just carry on I really do not know what I'd do.
My g/f and Mistress is slowly getting her head round controlling when, if, and how i orgasm and loves saying no sometimes when I askif I can have orgasm
The decision as to how long is usually 50% hers, 49% is up to chance*, and 1% mine. The 1% mine would come into play if I had a strong objection, which I never do. When she's treating me to one of her tortuous teasing sessions, and I start to babble and beg to come, the decision is 100% hers and is always "NO!" *the "by chance" aspect is done by me setting up the "Wheel of Misfortune" to her requirements and then she "spins" it.
Hi At first I had my say. My mistress has finally taken décistion only for the duration of enfermement.
This may seem a simplistic and a bit of a "new guy" answer, but it seems that if the submissive does not consent, then the game, as they say, is over. So if the wife decides that it shall be 6 months of orgasm denial and the caged husband demands, truly and earnestly, demands release, then indeed release should happen. A bit outside the fantasy I suppose, but then again I've had far too much contact with submissives in other branches of BDSM who took far more than they wished because someone told them they "had to" and that "saying no was no longer an option". I've always like the rule that the submissive sets the bounds, and the Dominant does whatever they like within them.