So, I have been waiting patiently to bring "the device" back up to my wife. We had fun with it but its her horny time now (which means I'm to be aggressive) mixed with some anxiety and work emotions that she feels. I had planned to wait at least another week. Today was tough on her at work. We took our kids to dinner and I'll cut to the chase they were "uncooperative" to get ready for a movie at home and I was in a bad mood. I was hard on them and selfish. I gave in and set them up to see a movie, and then came to check on my wife. She sits on the couch and says..."I want you to go lock yourself up". I was like what? why? (mostly because she is totally checked out sexually the last day or two and has shown no interest in this)...her: "I didn't like how you handled the kids just now" (truth be told I have asked for this kind of accountability from her)...I tested her a few times like "this is stupid" and "this isn't necessary" but she held firm and I have decided for the good of this flourishing any time she asks I may test a little but I will lock up and present her the key. She kept pointing upstairs as she said "go lock up" and I informed her that the device was in the basement because I was modifying it and she says "I don't care where it is, put it on"...I said Ok and go and do so. Frankly it was a challenge, i was so hard from being ordered to do so I could barely fit in, but i forced it so that she would get what she wanted. I presented her the key and she said..."go put it on my night stand like usual" wow!...usual??? this is the 3rd time ever she's even known about it, 2nd time she's asked for me to wear it. Mixed feelings: - on one hand, this is everything I want...to be locked up to be a better man, and for my wife to dictate terms - on the other, my wife needs me to be strong right now, she is depressed, but maybe she senses I am a better friend locked??? - she rewarded me to some extent for bad behavior. 3 days from now I'll be sore and it wont feel like a reward. but we will have to see how she plays it. - I have an authentic HT3 Nano arriving in 2 days and I was hoping that was my next long term and more comfortable lock up! I guess overall I was really excited that she decided to punish me with the cage and make me present the key. I need to help her though her tough time, and be better with the kids. I think she's taking my cues that I am better with less orgasms and I cling to her like she is an oxygen bottle and I'm underwater...when I'm locked. Chastity is such a small part of our challenging lives right now but I was shocked that Mrs. Vanilla would punish me this way...fun and interesting....(like chastity is)
I don't think she's ever wanted to use chastity as a punishment, it gives the impression that if I'm good I don't have to wear it. Orgasms may depend on behavior, but she still expects the cage to go back on. Lol, she spanks!
yea I am going to stop second guessing everything and just go with it. I asked her to play, this is how she's playing. I will just be on my best behavior and enjoy it!
That's right. For this to work properly it's got be something she wants to do. And on her terms so she can get whatever she desires out of it. Once she's decided she's up for it, then lie back and go with the flow. And do as she tells you, whether you like it or not.
Just now I helped her undress to shower. I told her that being locked does make me think of ways I could be "better" hoping to get out. Her: "what if I don't let you out at all" Me: " I would not have given you the key if I thought you were a mean person" her: "maybe I want to be mean" ...then she tells me that is IS in fact pretty turned on today. I kissed her all over and told her to let me know how I can please her. She got into the shower and asked "since you are locked up should I use the shower head on myself??" (she hasn't done that in over 10 years) I opened the shower door and said "it depends on how mean you want to be"...she questioned "is that mean?" I said yes I love to give you orgasms and see you enjoy yourself. I kissed her and left...we'll see how it goes. She still doesn't want to see the device on. But, its early in all of this. wish me luck.
Well, this is suddenly very real. My wife has worked through her reservations about the device hurting me, or me still being the man of the house. She had me give her 2 orgasms yesterday, teased me all day, came to bed naked and stroked my hair as I sucked her nipples. Refused to let me out even supervised for the night due to the erection pains. She keeps checking on me to make sure I can take it, but, wow. I’m enduring a lot. I get hard every time we touch and it hurts! She keeps whispering sexy things to me to exert her new power. She’s joking that she won’t need an orgasm for a while now and asking about how long it’s been since mine. She’s calculating. She seems to be loving the attention as I am clinging to her every chance I get. I think she’s planning to push me this time. I want out so, I guess it’s officially chastity.
she's also figured out all on her own to threaten me. I tell bad jokes sometimes and I hip check the fam around the house (former hockey player, its how i reminisce) and for both yesterday she mentioned I might get an extra day if I don't knock it off. Whew...what a natural she is. scary.
yea she has had a real spring in her step so far today. Very huggy with me mixed in with some sexy stuff. She got mad at my little daughter for pushing me and said "your father is a great man don't you'll have to deal with me if you hurt him"...so...my feeling is she is liking this now that the inhibitions are past. She's finding something sexy about it (though it is her turned on time of the month, this could and probably will pass) We talked about a range of subjects related to chastity last night and i reminded her that I learned about it in my quest to improve our marriage, make her my only source of pleasure and my only fantasy...she really liked that part. Today my parts feel "good"...some tingling and no pain...but bedtime is coming I know what that will mean at 3am. If it wasn't for that I would be loving this. It's a shame I might have to travel this week I'm sure that will mess things up. Oh well...great progress!!! Thanks for commenting!! Is there much of your story around the site that I can go find?
Enjoying your journey, my kh was a quick learner as well. The first time we made love when she unlocked me, she climbed on top and said “I guess I will be on top from now on” and has been ever since.
My wife said to me just now "you know it really does seem like you are different, you've lost your edge and your fight or something" I hadn't thought about it. It's only been a few days (though 5 since orgasm) and I definitely feel kind of content today. I'm generally pretty type A. Will be interesting to see how this all goes. Any thoughts on this observation?
Sounds like this is the first time this is real for you. Remember, it is the first time for her too. She will need to learn too and it sounds like she is picking up on the results of your chastity. All that you need to do is not screw up and make everything about her. You are her sub. That means you do as you are told and she will take care of your and what you need (defending you in front of the kids). But remember, what she sees that you actually need and what you think you need (an orgasm) will not always be the same. Just sit back, serve her and she will take care of you.
It takes time to settle into things during the early stages and that can take quite a while to work things through and then hopefully be worth it. Lots of changes twists and tweaking in the early days and I wish you well with it. Of concern to me and that me not necessarily anyone else but me was that you mentioned she did not like how you dealt with the kids one time and told you to put your device on. Behaviour 'correction' through pecieved punishment... well ok but that kind of crossover into family life would not have and would not go down well with me and I could see issues potentially arising from that ...but ... its not my relationship and I'm commenting not judging. All I am saying about this is; Its how things go in the early stages that set the tone for when you get settled into TTTWD and its easy for either party to let things go in the initial stages because they have an idea about things going a certain way and somethings with all the best intentions can get overlooked that have the potential to be harder to address further down the line. If you are both aware of all this and both comfortable with it.. cool. and if not ..well ...then I suggest awareness and more communication.
I think she did that because I've been hinting around lately about her being a little more "hard to get" and to hold me accountable...She sometimes gives me sex like clockwork when I need it and I have asked her to make sure I "deserve" it...althewhile thanking her for being such a great wife through this transition where I no longer masturbate...I'm lucky to have a woman so aware of my needs. We communicate really well and I'm not too worried about it. At this point she's searching for what I want to some extent. I was just glad she continues to come back to and learn about chastity and we continue to explore and talk about each others needs. I think we are ok Thanks for writing! This site has helped me a lot!
I cooked her some special meals authentic to where she grew up (New Orleans) yesterday because her football team was in a playoff game. They won, she was in a good mood, and I was let out for a "reward". I keep getting more sensitive and the O's keep getting better. She made me promise to lock back up this am as a condition of being with her last night, which is funny, because 2 days ago she was like "this isn't lifestyle, just play, right? "
wife was acting a little unsure last night...I think she still has conflict about the "manliness" of this. I tried to let her off of the hook this am by requesting the key in an email and thanking her for the experience. Her reply was simply "no" I'm in a V3 Nano now, she likes the look of it under my pants much better than the V2.
Also funnily there is a coworker of mine in another city that is very flirty with me. Wife says she wan't me locked when I'm in that office now.
Wife has started calling me her "boy" and referring to a few things that she wants in terms of whether "her boy" is willing to do them. Off the charts awesome! ( I know she is still submissive at heart but this is really fun, I could never have imagined being locked with her holding the key)