Advice request for new sub about tribute etiquette

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Coltastic, Jul 17, 2019.

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  1. Coltastic
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    Coltastic Member

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    #1 Coltastic, Jul 17, 2019
    So, I've met this amazing newish domme and we've completely hit it off. Everything is wholesome and free of infatuation and objectification on my part. I always try my hardest to not let my libido influence who I choose to have a relationship with. We've discussed interests and it all lines up but, but one thing I brought up that she was new to is tribute. Personally, I fucking love anything that shifts power stereotypes and really love the exchange. She's on board, obviously, but I'm suddenly wondering about proper etiquette when presenting tribute.

    I've never given cash to a domme before, and I want the handing off to he respectful, submissive, but not cringey. We're just starting off with coffee and conversation in person, so can someone advise me on a smooth classy subby way to hand off tribute and when? Wait until we're in the car, put it into a cute envelope? I'm curious what any dommes or experienced subs may think.
     
  2. Jinkyu
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    Jinkyu Long term member

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    #2 Jinkyu, Jul 17, 2019
    Well, IMHO, unless you're into findom, I would steer clear.

    I'm going to be *really* bold with this and may upset some folks. I'm also going to make some assumtions. This is my opinion only... take it or leave it.

    I think you should understand whats going on with this tribute thing. Im going to assume ya'll hit it up and she brought up the tribute thing after you had a connection going.

    At this point, I think you need to find out if you and this Domme would/could realistically have a relationship without the presence of the tribute money. At this point you have about 3 options. You can...

    1: Not care and enter the relationship anyway. Maybe Findom is fine with you and you don't mind that the tribute hint was dropped after she had you hooked. This is fine. Im going to assume she doesn't care how she gets the cash. I know I wouldn't.

    2: Find and broker a this-for-that relationship with cash up-front with a Dominatrix. Relationships arent buying cars FFS but you'll get more milage out of this option i believe. This is a more honest approach IMHO because there was no emotional connection and a "by the way, i like tributes..." is snuck in.

    3: decide not to do 1 or 2.
     
  3. johnjames55
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    johnjames55 Long term member

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    #3 johnjames55, Jul 17, 2019
    Just put it in an envelope with a short message such as Thankyou for everything love jxx, and put it under her pillow, let her know you will be doing this to contribute to making her life easier. You can treat her to spa days and suggest shopping trips to interesting place not just fetish fairs :).
     
  4. Coltastic
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    Coltastic Member

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    #4 Coltastic, Jul 17, 2019
    I like the envelope approach. :) Ty
     
  5. madams-sissysub
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    #5 madams-sissysub, Jul 21, 2019
    Or maybe a nice thank you card? Maybe you ask her first, I know some Dom’s just love actually being given the money right into there hand.
     
  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    #6 MissyB, Jul 21, 2019
    To be clear, you brought it up first? If so, you might want to wait until you're sure she knows you appreciate her for herself and not viewing it as a way to pay for her attention. the idea of treating the person you care for with a cash gift is great but knowing you care for them, are emotionally involved and have that kind of commitment is a stronger bond than money.
     
  7. johnjames55
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    johnjames55 Long term member

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    #7 johnjames55, Jul 22, 2019
    or yopu can ask if you can help with any bills or pay for her shopping (food,clothes,kinky stuff :)). Just treat her if you can afford it.
     
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