I was thinking about this journal of denying myself to cum for a year and whether or not to do a journal. I mean mostly all I could write would be: I AM HORNY! So I thought that doesn't make for interesting reading. Instead I decided to just write about all these lustful sexual thoughts constantly flooding my mind. All I can think about is sex. I have jumped on board with another member on here on a decision to not cum for a whole year. Well for me that day started October 17th, 2010 the last day I came. I welcome anyone to write me here and let me know they forbid me to cum too. I can use all the help I can get because I am about to go out of my head with lust! So HELP! Anyway, I will occasionally check in to let you know I am still suffering by not getting to shoot my load and I will give you some of these sexual thoughts as an outlet. I am mostly a straight guy, but like quite a few men on here and yes I have read your sex posts, am attracted to sucking cock too. I like the big breasted woman with a nice ass and sexy legs. I love high heels on a gal and it sets me off when I see a woman in black fish net pantyhose and red pumps. I also love pussy. I do like cock too. I like to suck cock, but that is about as far as it goes with guys. So here goes one story. “Becky” was the quiet one at work. Today she wore a tight black leather skirt just above her knees with black pantyhose and black high heels. She wore her hair long, blonde and flowing down to her back with golden wavy curls. She was somewhat prissy when she walked. Her legs were firm and shapely. Her breasts stuck out of her tight black sweater like two giant mounds bouncing gently as she walked. Her necklace was... something. I don't even remember. I was too focused on her breasts, but the necklace was stuck in between the two firm and luscious breasts. She gave me a sweet quick smile when she passed by me. And I could feel my cock get hard against my cock cage. My balls so full of cum and enlarged from not being able to cum in such a long time. I rushed behind a hallway door to get a fast peek of her shapely ass, like a Valentine heart throbbing as she walked. She brushed her hair to her side and glanced back and gave me a wink. "Oh shit!" I said. She saw me watching her. I ran back into my office. She now knew I was interested in her. "Double shit! I said to myself. Her boyfriend was my auto mechanic! I got a phone call and it took my mind off the situation at hand but not off her. I was rubbing my cock cage under my desk trying to get any relief I could get. "Ouch! Son of a bitch!" I tried to be quiet so nobody would hear me but my balls were engorged and full. My full balls growing and pressing against the ring. "I got to think about something else." I silently said when all of a sudden, she walked passed my desk and glanced at me with that sweet smile that said "Take me." Or was that me just hoping she said "Take me." Who the hell knows. All I can feel is lusts of fire and my balls getting ever larger. She was at the copy machine. The high heels pushed her ass up ever so nicely and her legs were even more shapely from the high heels. Her waist was tiny giving her an hourglass figure. She spread her legs out slightly as she bent over to get some copier paper. Her ass now stuck out behind her and the skirt revealed her crack dividing down the middle, leading up into her front which must be the prettiest pink pussy in the city. I was imagining what color her pubs were. Were they black like her long eyelashes that she bats at me? Were her pubs dishwater blonde? Did she shave it? Lustful thoughts filled my mind and I could feel myself slipping into a mad crazy world of lust. Lust raging in me. Taking over. Telling me to go over and pull her skirt down and fuck her. So I went over to her and I pulled her leather skirt off and as she tried to turn around, I held her there. Her black pantyhose felt silky smooth and I felt her beautiful legs just underneath. I slowly rolled her pantyhose down and I took my hands and moved them all over her velvety smooth exposed legs. I made her take off her high heels. The pantyhose was thrown to the ground. I made her put her high heels back on. I then yanked down her sexy silk hot pink panties and I grabbed her ample but tight ass cheeks. I felt her all over her ass. I grabbed her ass and forced her over and putting my hard cock up into her pussy from behind, I fucked the daylights out of her right then and there. Letting all my work buddies watch in awe. Pens falling from their hands. Mouths open wide. Watching as I endlessly fucked her and fucked her. Moans and groans of pleasure coming out of that sweet mouth and as she wiped the back of her hand to her lips. The bright red lipstick smeared onto her hand. I plunged deep into her and dominated her. I then grabbed the back of her sweater and pulled her around to me and her big breasts were now in my chest. I pulled her sweater off and I think I heard some nerd in the background say he was calling 911. Her sweater off and now in the floor. I cupped her pink lacy silk bra with my large hands and I held her breasts and before long her bra was on the floor. I felt her soft large, now naked, supple breasts. Her large pink tits were erect with pleasure. I started to suck each nipple, alternating each one. I then took my tongue and drew it around her breasts and my nose went in between those mountain beauties as I took her femininity into me. I smelled her perfume. I remember she said she used, what the hell was it? I can't think. I just want to fuck her. Oh, it was Estee Lauder. It was driving me fucking mad with lust. Her pussy was exposed to me as I heard a couple of women yelling for me to stop and then ran to get help. I went down to my knees and I fingered her pussy and looked at her with eyes of a lust devil and she knew I would have her. I plunged my tongue into her wet pussy. My work buddies were now yelling, "Tongue fuck her. Tongue fuck her! FUCK HER!" I could see she trimmed her pubs into a heart. I should have known she would do something to drive me over the edge. She was responsible for my madness. I pulled her toward me and sucked off all her wet juices from her pussy. My hard cock throbbing, moving up and down with anticipation. “Now fuck her with your cock!” The boys were in unison. I got up and spreading my legs far apart, I took my 8 inch cock and penetrated deep into her wet pussy. My cock’s wide girth filled her pussy totally up. My big balls were full of hot cum from being deprived for so long, driving me like a jockey riding a horse. I could see my work buddies looking at my big cock and looking at her pussy and I could see the big bulges in their pants. Pre-cum was soaking through their slacks from rock hard cocks. It turned me on to see my work buddies' cocks were hard as they saw me and saw her and knew I was going to fuck her. I laughed as I knew her auto mechanic boyfriend had his cock in her definitely the night before and shot his seed in her and now I would take over and dominate them both! "Yes!" She said to me. "Do me!" With macho strength I thrust back in forth into her. I drew her chest to mine and I reached down and I grabbed her into my arms and I kissed her neck. I gently kissed behind her ear knowing my cock was inside her and I softly told her “I am going to fuck you.” I could see her eyes roll into her head and surrender to my raging cock. I continued to thrust back and forth in her. I could see she was having an orgasm. "Uhhhh! Uh! Ohhh!" She was muttering sex language only a woman said in the heat of orgasm. Her head tilted back as I had her in my arms and pulled her to me once more as she went weak and into my arms and exploded into ecstasy. I could feel I was about to explode my hot cum into her as I was at the point of cumming. I knew I was about to speak the male language of orgasm. I would have my release I so longed for and dreamed would happen, when all of sudden she said to me. "Are you OK? Hey, are you OK?" I glanced at her and I shook my head but I couldn't speak. "I hope I didn't startle you with the copy machine making that noise?" "Uh…, no." I muttered. "Good. Well, see you later." She said and smiled. She left out the door with her folder full of papers and I looked around and then down and I saw it. I saw the cock cage. It was still on. My cock raging. My cock as hard as it could get and I realized I was having another cock daydream. Beads of sweat were on my forehead as I realized I am forbidden to cum.
Still haven't cum and still extremely horny. The coach told us to form a line for inspection. The girls on the swim team were on one side and opposite to them were us guys. We were facing each other with a distance of about 12 feet. The ten girls all had on their sexy red swimsuits. All the boys had to all be naked. There were ten of us boys. We were required to be naked for swim training and had to be totally exposed to the girls the whole time. We only wore our swim trunks when we were at the meets. The girls always wore their swimsuits. We were used to being naked in front of the girls, but it was hard to not get a boner, especially when you would catch a girl looking at your cock. "Swim meet will not be next Friday, but the day after, due to tests." The coach barked as he looked at his clipboard. I looked over to see Ursula talking to her friend Anna. Ursula had the most beautiful long blonde hair I have ever seen. It went to her waist. I remember seeing her at a picnic once and it shimmered in the sunlight. Her smile was sweet and innocent, her light blue eyes like the Caribbean sea. She never wore any makeup but she didn't need any. Her pale white skin didn't have one flaw. She wore her hair up in a swim cap during training so I didn't see her hair much except when we all showered together. I would see her over in shower stall one, again with her friend Anna, laughing and cutting up or catching up with the latest gossip. I would take quick glances at her trying to see her perky breasts. She didn't have large breast but they were fine. She had beautiful legs too, shapely. Her bush was neat and a darker blonde. She was tall like me. Anna, was short with long light brown hair and she was pretty. She had a wonderful smile and deep blue eyes. Her breasts were larger than Ursula’s breast. "Tanner, quit talking!" Coach spouted. Tanner was a tall lanky sort of fellow. His large Adam’s apple was the first thing you noticed until you saw his large cock. It had to be at least 7 inches soft. I would try and picture how big his cock would be erect and I imagine he would impale any girl he fucked. Tanner was also a clown and was the fly in coach's ointment. Whenever coach yelled, half the time it was because of Tanner. Hans, who was my best friend at the time, was short, but had deep dimples that drew in girls like a trap. He always had a girl lined up. He had long curly blonde hair but coach made him shave it off and that was the only time I saw him cry. He loved his hair. The boys all had shaved hair. It was required. I looked over and saw Palmer, who was the class stuck up, and she was whispering something to Jenna, another snob. Jenna was cute with short bobbed black hair and the best looking breasts in the bunch, full and her tits always stuck way out, like she was about to breastfeed me. Her attitude though was a turn off but I think that was because Palmer totally dominated her. Palmer was as nasty in attitude as she looked. She might could have been pretty but her evil demeanor gave her a snarled look. Lance was a fine looking guy. He was very quiet though and wouldn't talk to anyone much. He had thick black hair before he had to shave it and was as tall as me. He had a great set of biceps, not huge, but firm and strong. He had six pack abs that I could wash my shirts on and a nice thick uncut cock that stuck out under a large set of balls. His pubs where always very thick except when it had to be shaved. He was the classic picture of a stud. Bear was the bigger swimmer, not huge, but he had the most muscles and could fly through the water with his strong arms. He had the smallest cock but a big set of balls made up for it. He had such awesome balls that I would sometimes just stare at them. The others swimmers in the bunch I wasn’t around as much except I did date Marla, the “beauty queen” who was also Anna and Ursula’s friend. She had the classic hourglass figure and was made to be fucked. We were just so different and parted as friends. Her goals in life were to save the world and bring peace to all, and in truth the only thing she will bring peace to is male cock. She had the nicest pussy. Tight and clean. Her breasts were like two small melons. She was a belly dancer and her moves moved me. I lost my virginity to her but then again she told Ursula just the other day she was saving it for her husband. Yeah right. Her husband will think he is blazing a new trail when I already staked my flag pole in there. When we started, the boys were required to shave their pubs. Coach had us get a male partner on the team and shave each other's pubs. I shaved Hans and Hans shaved me. I could feel Hans' cock get hard when I was shaving him. He tried really hard to think about other things but his cock went up anyway. We never mentioned it. I got a hard on and jacked off my cum later thinking about it. Coach's assistant was a sexy young beauty who was rumored to have fucked our married coach, more than once, but it was only speculation. I did see him put his hands on her ass a few times. Her name was Regina I think. It has been some years since, but I think that is what her name was. She wore the tightest short white pants and a red sexy fitted blouse for her uniform. She had a team hat but I never saw her wear one except at the meets. Her hair was black, wavy and to her shoulders. Her breasts were full and she had gorgeous cleavage, her breast touched each other and the line between her breasts was a crack that my eyes would fall into quite often. Coach was a hard ass with a no nonsense way about him. He rarely joked and was about as macho as they come. Once when he had it with Tanner, he grabbed Tanner by his cock and dragged him in front of the girls, bent him over, took his belt and beat the shit out of him. I saw some blood and even a few tears streaming from Tanner. He didn't act up for about two weeks after that. I saw the girls laughing as Tanner was being beat, but I noticed Ursula just looked repulsed by our "caveman coach" as she called him. I recall after we lost the second swim meet, coach took a wooden spoon and in front of the girls, the guys lined up, we had to spread our legs and the coach would take the wooden spoon and whack our balls hard a few times on each guy’s balls and he would just laugh and grin. His female assistant by his side would inspect our cocks to make sure we were OK, which we were. It hurt like hell. I saw Ursula biting down on her tongue when she saw me get the spoon. Later she said, "Come here." I went over and she reached and pulled my arm to her. She grabbed my shoulder and pull me down to her face and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "I felt so sorry for you getting hit like that. That asshole needs a sharp knife slapped on his nuts." She spurted with anger. I laughed and then she laughed. I noticed my cock was swelling and she gave a quick eye sweep and saw my cock was getting larger. I couldn't hide it. That night I jacked off thinking about how nice she was to be worried about me and to kiss me and that she noticed my cock, the cock she saw daily when we were in training, but the first time she saw my cock get hard. She knew me. I couldn't hide from her. I shot so much cum that night and my cum hit the wall behind me. Cum everywhere. The next day I decided to ask her out. She said yes and we went out for our first date. I remembered it was out at the area lake, at that lakeside restaurant. We sat out on the patio and looked out at the lake. We talked and enjoyed each other as the gentle wind blew through her silky hair. With her head down and a large smile she said, "I saw you… well, I saw you were excited to see me after I kissed you." She was blushing. I began to blush too. We nervously laughed. I could tell she was working up the courage to tell me something. "What is it? Tell me." I pleaded. She paused for a moment and said, "I liked what I saw." She blushed even more. I took her hand and we walked along the lake bank as the sun was setting. I took her in my arms and we kissed as the sun went down. Back at the swim facility, I was jolted back from my memories. This time it was because of Palmer. “Palmer, shut your trap!” Coach barked. I didn’t see what Palmer did and couldn’t care less. I then saw Ursula had been trying to get my attention. I waited for coach to look away and I quietly said, “What?” She grabbed something out of her swimsuit, in between her breasts and took it out then pointed to it. It was a note and it was now in her hand. She was going to toss it to me. I said silently, “Wait.” I looked over and saw coach rapping on about something to Regina. So I said silently, “Now.” She quickly tossed the note only to have the note fall near Tanner, who was over next to Hans. Tanner reached down and picked it up. I muttered. “Psst, hey, Tanner,” I said softly, “let me have that note. It is for me.” Tanner, the dip shit joker he was threw it up in the air and was going to catch it back again only to have the coach look back and see it. “What is going on here?” Coach went over to Tanner. Shit. “What is this?” Coach grabbed the note and opened it. “It isn’t mine coach.” Shit! Coach took a moment to read it and then looked over to me with an evil stare. What the hell was in that note? “Come here.” He pointed to me. By that time Regina was over by me and looking to see what was the matter. “What is this?” He quizzed. “Uh, honestly sir I don’t know.” Coach grabbed my balls and pulls me out in the middle, now all attention is on me. Not a pin dropping. My heart pounding. I stutter something I don’t recall. Right then, Ursula steps out and said, “Coach, that is my note, not his. I was trying to pass it to him and it went to Tanner by mistake.” Coach then told Ursula to get back in line and the coach pulled me by my cock into his office. He threw me up near his desk, shut the door and my heart pounded even harder. “Spread your legs out boy!” He shouted. I spread my legs apart. “Grab the desk boy!” I grabbed the desk. I then felt the fires of a leather belt striking my ass cheeks. Lash after lash, I felt my flesh being cut by the belt. I felt numb after the seventh strike. I think I received ten lashings. The last three lashings, he grabbed me by my balls and held them as he struck the last three on my ass. He then looked down on my cock and looked at my nakedness for what seemed like hours but was really a few seconds. “Get out of here.” Coach shouted. I quickly ran out and into the line. A million thoughts were going through my mind and nobody said a word. Even Palmer was shocked and not talking. While the coach was out, Regina continued the announcements on the clipboard. I searched for Ursula and she was gone. What could have happened? “What happened?” Hans whispered. “I don’t know.” I whispered back. “Where is Ursula? I again whispered to Hans. “She ran out of the room when we all heard the whippings coach gave you.” I could feel the pain of the leather belt in full force kicking in. After the training I rushed to try and find Ursula. I couldn’t find her anywhere. Anna didn’t know. I called Ursula’s house that afternoon and her brother said she was out. My mind raced as to what that fucking note said. It had gotten me into all of this. I hear a knocking at my door that evening. It was Ursula. I took her into my arms and she kept crying saying it was all her fault. I told her not worry. I just wanted to know what was in that note? “I made another note just like the one coach took because I know you would want to know. Here it is." She put it in my hand and gave me a peck on my cheek and said she had to go baby-sit but would talk to me tomorrow. I rushed over to the table and turned on the light to read the note: I love you so much. That night when the sun set and you took me into your arms, I knew I wanted you. When you opened my blouse and cupped your hands on my bra, I knew I wanted you. As you kissed my neck, I could feel my wetness and I knew I had to have you. When you took off my bra and I could feel your hands caressing my breasts, I knew then and there. When you pulled my skirt off and pulled down my panties, I was already having an orgasm. When you fingered my vagina, I trembled with pleasure. When you put your cock into my vagina, I was orgasmic again. When you thrusted your cock back and forth, with the power of a bull, I lost it. When I felt your hot seed hit my walls, I saw stars. I love you! And it was signed Ursula. I smiled and realized why I had been whipped and it was all worth it.