She told her 2 best friends....

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by MrFlashKat, Aug 27, 2020.

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  1. MrFlashKat
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    MrFlashKat Active member

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    My lady had just come back from 2 weeks away visiting family and friends.

    I've been locked for the previous 41 days...with 2 orgasms. one ruined in the cage after 25 days and one yesterday, in a condom during full PIV sex with her....more on that in another thread I think!


    Anyway....she has REALLY been embracing the FLR and the cage....she told me that while she way away she had told her two best friends that I wore a cage for her and that it made me more 'docile'!!! I instantly felt quite exposed and embarrassed and also strained in the cage at this point. Before she went she made me tell 3 people that I'm caged by her. I told two kink-friendly friends (for which it was no big deal) and then another good friend who's more vanilla and which it was difficult for me to share this information with...I had to explain what the cage was...wait while she googled etc (the instructions from my KH were: - "tell 2 people, make sure at least one is not easy to tell").

    ....so she wants me to tell more people!! Part of me is really supportive of this, turned on by this and also it deepens our relationship, my submissiveness and shares the truth of what's going on here....another part of me is very threatened by and resistant to this idea.


    Thoughts, views and insights, please....?
     
  2. Kiye
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    Kiye subslut of Vylette

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    I'm going to say something that might be unpopular but:

    Most people will not want to know about this and telling them may not result in a positive or favourable outcome.

    I avoid trying to let people in on my personal business because I think they have the right not to be made uncomfortable by something that for very obvious reasons should be private.

    Now, I don't know what your relationships are like with your friends but I'd certainly not be telling my friends sensitive details about what I do privately.
     
  3. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Long term member

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    Have you considered that other people may prefer not to know or be involved in your kink and may not want to be used in this way?
     
  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    You need to look inside yourself and see what is really important. Obviously your KH is proud of you and likes owning you. If you truly feel that way about her, and want to embrace a FLR, then you need to decide if this crosses a boundary you are uncomfortable with or if it only strengthens your commitment to her. Being challenged to take a FLR further, I think is part of the process. But it has to work well with all the parties. If you can't continue this, you might want to offer replacement acts to show the depth of your submission. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  5. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    It's great that your wife is truly embracing FLR lifestyle. Chastity is semi-mainstream these days, so for most people it shouldn't be a big deal. Enjoy her lead.
     
  6. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    It still surprises me that in [CURRENT YEAR] we still need to remind people that outing our kink to others is *non-consensual* and is a great way to give people the totally wrong idea about those with uncommon sexual practices.

    Her telling some girlfriends over some tipsy wine conversations is completely different than telling you to call up a couple of your mates and drop the kink bomb on them. It doesn't matter if the kink is locking up your dick, wearing panties or diapers, cuckolding, or even blindfolds and bondage. If they aren't asking, then there's no reason to make them part of your sex life.
     
  7. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    I agree with all of the above but would also add I think it a sign of great disrespect to you and your relationship. What if things change in the future and you are always know for this one thing. Just think of how your wife would feel if you outed her on something really personal. My opinion and its only that but I think a line was crossed. A little introspection may be in order to make sure you are going in a direction you are comfortable and can accept .
     
  8. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    I don't think it is!!!
     
  9. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    What isn't - chastity being mainstream or a big deal?
     
  10. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Sorry I wasn't very clear. I meant Chastity being mainstream. That would make telling others not a very good idea. With like minded friends it may be ok. To be honest half the fun we have is people not knowing our "little secret".
     
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  11. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    That's true;)
     
  12. remyruff
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    remyruff Long time member

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    I think it depends on where you live and what your friends are like.
    Obviously the majority of response to your post was negative. As in, you have to remain PC at all times protecting yourself, your little secret and the feelings of whom you interact with.
    This mindset of protection at all costs even if you identify with this lifestyle just strikes me as repressed.
    It's a delicate balance to know who you can trust with this information and who you would not.
    If we strictly keep extrodinary ideas and concepts to ourselves how did we ever evolve to be where we are. And isn't it this protectionism that is at the cause of issues we are dealing with socially now.
    It's a big picture view.
    I have been told that I like to raddle the cage at times though. ;)
     
  13. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    Very true. What's the point of enjoying a fetish or a lifestyle if you must walk on eggshells all the time?
     
  14. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    I don't think it's a matter of eggshells really. More of knowing when and where it's appropriate to discuss what you're doing with your genitals. Otherwise no one is stopping anyone from enjoying the lifestyle.
     
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  15. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    I'm a little sick of having to worry about what might offend others. We aren't talking about bending over and showing off a butt plug at the dinner table.

    "Do you want to hear a secret about me and Amy?... Are you sure? It's of a sexual nature.... OK. She keeps me in a chastity cage 24-7" No further information unless they ask follow up questions.

    Problem solved.
     
  16. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    Mm. K. Go for it I guess. Good luck!
     
  17. NotYetCaged
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    NotYetCaged Member

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    I let my wife know that she is free to tell anyone she desires, but that not everyone will know what to do with the info. Will they understand all of the relationship, or will they zone into the perceived 'more salacious' information and nothing more.

    But bottom line, it is up to Her to decide whom she lets know, and to what depth of detail.

    My personal view is to be truthful when asked. Our lives may be an open book, but that doesn't mean the book needs to be read aloud.
     
  18. Tehsatyros
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    Tehsatyros Active member

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    Maybe remind her that this is for the two of you, not for people outside your relationship.
     
  19. remyruff
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    remyruff Long time member

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    just for a moment imagine chastity and FLR on equals with homosexuality.
    It isn't of course, ...but if it where?
    Anyone watch the TV series Billions? Public figure Chuck Rhode's life as a submissive to his wife was put on display publicly and the outcome was that even though it was a huge scandal, he wins the election for being honest about who he is.

    Homosexual folks can be honest about their preference, play dress up in public but if you practice chastity which many chose as a lifestyle, we should be to ashamed to mention it to anyone including friends?
    I encourage people to be who they are.
    We all learn from the secrets that others reveal, not from the ones they hide.
     
  20. piet00
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    piet00 Active member

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    Hello,

    I think there is truth in both aspects. Keeping it private and also feeling free to talk to others.
    I think it depends if chastity is just a kink, I would be careful telling others about it. Not because I am ashamed but because telling so will (of course) creating a picture in the head of the person hearing the story.
    I think that pushing sexual pictures into the head of others can be considered violent and inappropriate.
    Of course it makes a difference if there is open talk about sexual pleasures and within this context someone talks about chastity. I think that this is ok.

    But if you live in a "serious" FLR, which is focussed on beeing submissive to her then it might help practicing that in your daily life, if others know about it.
    In our FLR I am practicing a lot beeing submissive and to focus my life on her and not on my job etc.
    If I could practice beeing submissive more open it would help me a lot.
    As such I think the point comparing true submissiveness with beeing gay and just beeing open about it, is very true.
     
  21. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Long term member

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    My wife has also told a few of her friends and on at least 2 occasions had me drop my pants and show the device. One was really interested since her husband had expressed an. Interest in chastity and she resisted and thought he was crazy. In the end, both couples now have the husbands in chastity.
     
  22. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    Hey! I'm all for tell anybody you want. Just word of caution, if you don't normally converse over personal sexual topics with a particular individual then it might not be a good idea. If you wouldn't otherwise talk about your sex life with a person then it might not be a good idea to do with that person just because it would make your cage tight, a little self awareness. And f it. If you wanna do it, do it. I'm just saying, if you get a bad reaction, it might not be that chastity is the factor. It was that suddenly you decided to talk about the state of your penis.
     
  23. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    It's been a hot fantasy of mine that my wife will discuss my chastity with friends of ours. That hasn't happened and I don't expect her to. But I've spoken about wearing a cage to a group of men (previous post) and at length with two male friends. It was a freeing experience. Isn't that an interesting result of speaking about being locked up?

    My openness with them deepened our friendship. It made it easier for them to speak of very personal matters of their own.
     
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  24. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Even you don't seem to be entirely comfortable doing this, so how do you think the vanilla people you tell are going to react?
     
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  25. ashes1334
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    ashes1334 Long term member

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    And he has told his immediate circle already. Going beyond that? You have friends and you have acquaintances. Right? Do you talk about your dick to acquaintances? Seems odd. Just because there's a cage on it doesn't make it not about your dick. That's where the lines blur a little bit. Truly. I don't care. It would just seem Pervy at that point once going beyond that inner circle.
     
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