Do I even belong here?

Great thought provoking post. Personally my wife and I use chastity as a means to enhance sex, not do away with it! I have stayed locked away for a couple months but she orgasms as much as she wants, and gives me orgasms (ruined, thru anal stimulation, etc) about weekly. The last thing I want is to be locked away and forgotten. I'm not into cuckolding, permenant chastity, or living my real life as a sissy. But this site covers a full spectrum of kink, and I gain from like minded people that share experiences, ideas, and problems. Tease and denial is absolutely better when you allow your partner to decide when and where you get to orgasm. If that's you, then stay! I really enjoy the fresh perspective and would hate to see you go.

 

I think chastity can be done on the needs and wants of of two people. There are some locked up permanently. For me I would use chastity in a female led relationship. I agree with you on my choice would be lots of tease and denial, followed eventually by sex. I like sex too. Some women use chastity to keep husband's behaviour in line. Here there are all kids of chastity and to each his/her own. It can be used in many ways with a lot or a little kink. Just be happy it enhances you and your wifes sex life. There's no good way or bad way to use it.

 

@oldtimer There are no "rules set in stone". Chastity takes many different forms as does BDSM. Experiment, keep what you like and drop what you don't. There are so many here with vastly differing lifestyles. It would be rather boring if we were all the same.

 

I agree, me and my partner have been together for 10 years, and have tried many kinks, some came and went, others stayed for a while. I think the problem is that people see chastity as rules, and yes you do need rules, but to suit your own set of circumstances. Me and my fella don't live together. He lives about 2 mins in the car from me, so close enough but far enough away, if you follow me. He decided that he was masturbating too much, I wasn't aware that he was doing it at all. He asked to be put in chastity. I agreed with a glint in my eye. We are experimenting, in all different directions, but our main thing is that he doesnt touch his cock, especially not when Im not about. I love penetration, so he is let out for cleaning, and for my enjoyment, at the moment, twice a week. He hasnt climaxed since his birthday in October but he I have had him edging a lot, and we both really enjoy it. Its wierd, we have gone from sometimes struggling to make him cum, but really trying to now, making sure he doesnt! Sorry, I digress, my point is that there is no right or wrong, just different, what works for one might not work for another, and surely as long as everyone is happy and doing as they wish, I don't see that there should be a problem

 

I know I certainly don't speak for the whole community, but I really hope that all who enjoy chastity "play" have a voice here at the Mansion. Regardless of where we fall on the spectrum, I hope we can all appreciate that it is a spectrum, and understand that if you enjoy where you are on the spectrum you should be able to let others enjoy their spot, too.

And I think we do a pretty good job of that here

 

Yes there is plenty of fantasy stuff online but I think if someone sticks around a forum for years they have a genuine interest in the subject and are more likely to be there to learn and share their (genuine) experience with others. Some might see a longish chastity period as a "challenge" and enjoy it partly for that reason. My wife gets plenty of orgasms, but I have to wait weeks or months, and she likes being able to get up after her orgasms and do something else. It's simply that mutual orgasms are not a goal for us in our intimacy.

 

Well it does seem from your postings that things have certainly moved on from the old times.
It would also seem that you have been everywhere and done everything except worn your own trumpet out.

 

as ever ms precise and to the point. well said. i was waiting for him to plug the book he has written about everything..................

 

Interesting that an hour of pussy worship given to your wife while you are on the edge of coming, followed by feeling and enjoying her orgasms, is not considered by oldtimer as having sex. As I'm asked to "go and make the coffee now" I know I feel breathless and slightly shaky and the feeling lasts for an hour or two, it's very intense and the intimate bond created is very special.

 

for someone who has done so much and kept it secret ..we seem to know an awful lot about you in a short time.

 

And an awful lot about the sex he has never had !!
Xx wendy

 

well he said he don't likes it here and he gonna go anyways.

 

So would be that your approach ma'am? To use chastity to keep your sub in line, and if so for "how long"?

 

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

 

I think your tone of superiority is unattractive and disingenuous. Of course people on CM have various tastes in kink and long term chastity is only one of them. Do what you feel. Enjoy it. Share it with us if you want. And understand nobody else cares if you agree with their kinky preferences.

 

We each of us use chastity in the way that suit us or our purpose best.

To say "Enjoy not enjoying sex if that is your thing." is a little misguided. I do not think anyone would enjoy not enjoying sex. Nor do I think anyone on this site would want to not have and enjoy sex.
What he fails to understand is that the way we enjoy having sex does not suit everyone.
My gf has countless orgasm almost everytime we are together and would not be able to orgasm if she were not enjoying sex.

I take great pleasure in pleasing my partner and it gives me great pleasure that she enjoys

that I love her , want to be with her and that I want her
that I love bringing her to orgasm as often as she can stand
and that I am happy to hold and caress her in her post orgasm glow as she falls asleep
making me feel good by letting me please her and doing things for her,
she enjoys the click of the padlock as she closes it
keeping me locked so my CB makes think of her countless more times a day,
keeping me in an almost constant state of horniness for her
that think there is something about every woman I see that reminds me of her

And that she does all this by controlling and denying my orgasms and allowing me to paly a part in all of hers.
She has the gift of controlling all my orgasms and in return she shares all of hers with me.
She does not, has not and I'm damn sure will not ever prevent me from enjoying sex.

If Oldtimer really can't see how both KHs and their willing partners are all getting pretty much all or most of what they want out of their relationships then perhaps he should not be on here.

 

lol, believe you me, when your cock is locked away and your partner has the key, your cock is never gone and forgotten

 

I myself feel we are all different, I love this site, I like all the females on here, Most sites are geared for more men, and sissys. I like the dominance of the Goddess and Mistress, And by the way I am Bi. But to each his or her own, As Mascara Snake said Its not cut in stone. Lock up time depends on the people playing. OMG may we all DRIP! LOL

 

Like I said in another post on this thread, I think its a case of each to their own. Of course my partner likes orgasms, who doesn't, but he also recognises that he is a nicer person once he's been without climax for a while, plus he really enjoys edging. He also loves the fact that he is far more horny, more often if he doesn't climax, and that whilst he isn't climaxing we make love for 2-3 hours, whereas once he has climaxed, he loses interest for a few days. Also when he isnt climaxing, he gets much more out of kissing and cuddling and bringing me to climax and that he seems to notice me more at the same time. He hears what Im saying more, is just simply more aware. He called me 'f*cking beautiful' for the first time ever whilst I was climaxing and he was in denial, as if he simply hadnt noticed what i had looked like before. I think in his book, the pros far outweigh the cons