Chastity: Obedience and Control

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Sixtus, May 6, 2016.

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  1. Sixtus
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    Sixtus Member

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    I know a great deal of people go in for male chastity with the desire to have complete control, by which I mean permanent and inescapable chastity and denial. I definitely see the appeal of being in something other than just a ball trap device, but I recently came to the conclusion that denial is just not for me, even though I enjoy being locked up. At this point it seems like fairly common knowledge to people in this community that sans piercings, or perhaps the clever employment of urethral devices, you can partially pull out of any device, and can 'cheat' to orgasm. Also, one could simply employ a vibrator, or go with anal stimulation while locked. So, in order to have a more perfect system of denial, one must go to those extremes, piercings and whatnot. However, I have read of the experience of nighttime orgasms, or otherwise spontaneous orgasms after prolonged periods of chastity. It seems that the idea of complete control, as if holding the key gives the holder 100% discretion over the pleasure of the locked ultimately breaks down no matter what. That conclusion has led me away from thinking of chastity necessarily as a means of denial because I feel its beside the point. The point is obedience and control, not denial. Don't get me wrong, if my future Keyholder would like to explore denial for the purposes of seeing how far I would be able to go, that's fine. But I will not make that effort, and will not go to extremes under the apparently false pretense that eventually I wont be able to have an orgasm whether I or my Keyholder likes it or not. I would like to hear what everyone thinks about this subject, especially since I feel like I'm in the minority on this subject.
     
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  2. Captured Pirate
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    Captured Pirate Long term member

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    Everyone is different, every couple is different. Whatever you do with your Lady should be what you both are comfortable with together. :)
     
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  3. TitaniumChastiTi
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    TitaniumChastiTi Custom Bespoke Manufacturer

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    If the shirt doesnt fit..... dont wear it ??
     
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  4. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    You are missing the point.

    Denial is a fantasy that turns a lot of people on, male and female. It doesn't turn everyone on.
    Chastity is a fantasy that turns a lot of people on, male and female. It doesn't turn everyone on.
    Control is a fantasy that turns a lot of people on, male and female. It doesn't turn everyone on.
    Permanent chastity is a fantasy that turns a lot of people on, male and female. It doesn't turn everyone on.
    Inescapable chastity is a fantasy that turns a lot of people on, male and female. It doesn't turn everyone on.

    Getting the point?

    You say you don't feel that denial is for you as chastity devices are so easy to beat. I have a 100% absolutely foolproof way of making your chastity device totally and utterly inescapable.

    What you do is this. You stand in front of something or somebody. It could be a mirror, it could be your Wife or significant other. It could be a tree. You say these simple words. I promise not to try and beat my chastity device. You can add other statements if you wish. For instance you could say I promise not to masturbate without your permission, I promise not to use a vibrator without your permission.

    There is one critical ingredient you must include though for this to work.

    Sincerity. You have to absolutely 100% commit yourself to the promise, or it won't work.

    If you don't mean the promise then the other critical ingredient cannot be generated. Trust.
     
  5. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @Sixtus The whole point of male chastity is to increase frustration within the male. This increases the males devotion and attention towards his better half. With training, it should, hopefully, make the male disinclined to try and escape from his state of enforced inability to experience an erection without the approval of his captor. There isn't a device which is not totally escape proof and the whole lifestyle revolves around ensuring that the subbie knows that disobedience will result in failure.
     
  6. salonslave
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    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

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    No. Not all of us ro increase frustration. We do it for fun! We gotta have fun!
     
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  7. Sixtus
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    Sixtus Member

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    @Jasmic68
    Respectfully, I don't think I am missing the point, I am simply saying that for me, its not about the promise not to beat the chastity device, because I don't think that it is a realistic expectation. That is not to say I have a defiant attitude, or think that its okay to just escape or orgasm whenever. Its just my attitude is a realistic one. Like many, if not all people into chastity in its various iterations, the promise and practice of chastity is very important to me. However, no matter how much I promise my Key-holder I will not orgasm without Her permission, I am ultimately a liar for the explicit reason that I am capable of, or prone to more accurately, orgasm whether I like it or not. The longest I've been in chastity is about 2 months, and even in that small amount of time I had a spontaneous orgasm. I was sleeping and got aroused, which usually means I have to pee, so I got up and in the bathroom it just sort of happened. Given that reality for me, complete denial cannot possibly be anything other than a fantasy, and your repeated use of the word is telling. I don't mean to encourage or argue the point that this is all a bunch of BS, and that those locked should just escape with impunity and take the whole thing lightly. It's just that I approach it more for obedience and control rather than for the purposes of complete, or perfect denial, which I feel is impossible (at least for me). I think it is important for Key-holders to have a realistic expectation and mature attitude about arousal and orgasm. Realistically, how on Earth would a Key-holder know if her (in a F/m example) possibly know if, while they were away at work, or on a business trip, or out to the store, or whatever her partner simply had a weak moment and used a vibrator to cum, or came by accident? There is no possible way. If you had a jar full of cookies, and didn't know how many cookies there were in the jar, and you left someone alone (who happened to really like cookies) with the jar and told them not to eat any, how would you possibly know if they ate one or not? You wouldn't know, is of course the correct answer. Thus, the better, more mature attitude toward them would be to get the person to be comfortable enough with you to tell you if they did eat one, and then take the appropriate, previously agreed upon actions. The difference being that cookies are not good for you, and orgasms are. You're right it is about trust, and with trust comes honesty. Also, trust is a two way street, and it is my belief any locked person should trust that their Key-holder is not going to flip their lid, have an emotional breakdown, or otherwise have the attitude of an absolutist, and end the relationship because *gasp* human beings like enjoyment AND have moments of weakness!!! When you speak in absolutes, and think that anyone can be quote "100% committed," then you are absolutely wrong. However, ultimately what I am espousing is my opinion of course, as well as my preference, and that by no means makes me absolutely right. Thank you for reading my post and commenting.
     
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  8. Sixtus
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    Sixtus Member

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    @Mistress B

    I agree, to some degree. I am not sure I would use the word frustration however. I would say its more about prolonging release so that when an orgasm happens, it is absolutely earth shaking, unexpected, or unorthodox. Frustration is perhaps a side-effect, but for me definitely not the goal. The goal is release, or orgasm, and the means for that is obedience, which I attain through control. To me those are the key principles of chastity.
     
  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    My main thought is than an accidental release (which has happened to me twice) is not an orgasm and my Wife does not count it as me cheating or breaking my promise. It does depend on the rules and expectations of your own use of chastity though. If you promise 'I will not cum' then that is an empty promise, as you have pointed out your own body will break the promise for you.
    If you say however 'I will not masturbate' or 'I will not orgasm without your permission' then that is a different thing. Having a vibrator or masturbating is obviously breaking the promise. Chastity is as important to me as it is my Wife which is why I don't break the promise.
     
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