Doesn't anyone make up their own fantasies anymore?

First a little background. When I was first married there was no internet. The only sexual literature I had was Playboy and Penthouse and then Screw Magazine. All I got were glimpses of some fetishes. Despite that, I got into a lot of fetishes, many of which I did not know the name for or if anyone else was doing the same. My partner and I made it up as we went along.

Fast forward to the end of 2013, the first time I started visiting sex sites, except those that sold stuff. Why did I stay away from them even though I have engaged in a lot of fetish play my entire adult life? I felt it was difficult to find those who are really into the fetish and not living it online. I did, and still do, think that many do not make up their own fantasy but rather read a story or someone's else's fantasy and then make it their own. An example would be the Cuckold fetish. The common elements seem to be:]

- the guy not being able to please his partner either because of lack of stamina or tiny penis. The tiny penis thing is very popular even among guys with normal sized ones.

- The wife liking to have unprotected sex with a big black cock (BBC) who dominates her.

- The man being humiliated in front of the BBC. Usually dress in women's clothes and locked in chastity.

- Wife brings her lover home to have sex after awhile or immediately so that cuckold can either listen of watch.

- Man helps wife prepare for her date by bathing her, dressing her, etc..

- Man acts submissive in front of BBC, often being told to fetch drinks for the couple.

- BBC is, well, always big.

- Wife or girlfriend loves the big cock and has lots of orgasms. The BBC can have 3-4 in a row, usually within minutes of each other.

- Man is forced to lick his partner clean and sometimes even the bull.

- Man is forced to perform oral on the BBC

- Sometimes BBC has anal sex with the husband/boyfriend.

- Female starts seeing the same guy over and over and they become lovers and both dominate the male.

- One or both of them start talking about having the female get pregnant by the BBC.

I think that I have covered the common thread in most of the Cuckold stories on the internet. The only problem is that some who read these stories get sexually excited by them and the story becomes their fantasy down to the details. Then they go to websites that focus on Cuckolding and everyone there repeats the same stories as either what they want or what they say they say they actually do. It becomes a shared fantasy down to the details. You see this reflected in a lot of posts.

What I am getting out is that the internet has made it possible to share and define a fantasy. I hear all too often guys who are disappointed because their wives or girlfriends do not follow the scripted fantasy that they made their own. I think the Mistresses here have come across men who have a very detailed fantasy that has the same elements as what we see in porn or stories. I have yet to read about a cuckold who just wants to sit and watch his wife with another man while sipping some Scotch and laughing about how awkward the couple is because they do not know each other well enough to know what each other likes. In my case, I watched as the guy my wife was with, tried to be rough with her and dominate her. She rebuffed his efforts. She certainly did not allow him to go bareback. That would be insane. Surprisingly enough, the other guy did not know he was supposed to get immediately get hard again after a few minutes and do it again and again until my wife had many orgasms. I did not know that I was supposed to get an erection from watching them, perform oral on the other guy or clean up anyone. If only I had a script.

I am not casting stones at anyone as I have fallen prey to this myself with new fetishes I have picked up recently like Chastity and Tease and Denial. I also adopted what I read, as my own fantasy. Makes it easier than going into it blind and making it up as I go along. However, I soon realized that my wife had her own script and it was not the same as mine. Most times she had no script as she does not visit sex sites or is even aware of some of the fetishes that I want her to engage in. Nothing that I have done or currently do went the way I saw it portrayed on the internet in either written or video form. Some of the more rational and realistic elements exist but not the stuff that is belongs more in the realm of fantasy than reality.

The few dominant women I still know complain about this all the time. They feel that if they do not follow the sub's script closely, the sub disappears as his fantasy is not being followed according to his mental script. It just seems that the same scripted fantasies are being posted over and over again, keeping the core elements but changing the circumstances or concentrating on one or two elements more than the others. After a while it all sounds the same to me. On the plus side, I now do not feel perverted for doing the things I used to do as I have discovered that lots of guys do the same or worse.

Just would like to hear what you think about my perception about fantasies being shared rather than conceived by individuals. The difference being is that with no example to follow, you have to make up your own fantasy and therefore there can be significant differences between your ideas and those of others. With the advent of a readily available internet, the need to even conceive the fantasy, much less figure out how to live it, no longer exists. Is that a good or bad thing? Does it set up someone for disappointment and the dissatisfaction that goes with unfulfilled fantasies because the shared fantasies, although having some rational and real elements, also have unrealistic things that most will never be able to obtain without paying for it?

I know that once I get something in my head, it is difficult to be satisfied with less. It has become a problem even for me lately so I tend to think that it was better when I made up my own fantasy and fleshed them out with my partner so that we both were on the same page so to speak.

 

I have always said something similar. I would laugh at the ads that wanted a person to do all sorts of weird and disgusting stuff and then say no smokers need apply. Really? That is were they draw the line.

Great post BTW. I know of the Hellfire club as I lived in NYC for much of my younger life. Never went there myself but played with couples that did. One of my wife's girlfriends who was dominating me, wanted to bring me there on a leash but I have a problem with acting submissive in front of other males since I am dominant in real life.

 

One thing I am not sure of is when someone posts something as if it really happened but anyone with a grasp of reality can recognize as not real, do all the replies that seem to believe the poster are actualually from believers or are they just buying into the fantasy? For instance, and this is a post I saw, a guy posts that his wife slipped a CB6000 on him while he was sleeping, told him he was never going to have an orgasm again, dressed him in a maid's costume that she bought for him without his knowledge, invited all of their friends over where she has him serve them as they all made fun of him. Then his wife gets naked in front of all their friends to tease him. After that she has them all pee on him. Boy, he was so humiliated. .

The replies to the above post were interesting. Some congratulated him for making his fantasy come true. Others asked questions to how they could get their wives to do the same. There were also posts suggesting what else he could ask his wife to do. This post was not in the story section of the forum, it was posted as a real occurrence. Not one reply suggested that the poster was making it up.

Did they really believe the poster because they shared the same desires or were they just playing along? Most seemed to be serious replies. I know that if my friends were invited to a dinner party, they would not appreciate seeing me being dominated by my necked wife who wants them all to pee on me; well, at least not most of my friends.

 

Personally I just ignore them but I worry about perpetuating the myth as fact. That can have bad consequences either emotionally when the reality does not meet the fantasy, or physically as in the case of BDSM. I sometimes have to remind myself to not worry about other people or I will go nuts.