True Chastity

"Real chastity only starts when the person wants out" -- I have been thinking about the exact same quote for the past 8 hours as I tried to sleep and then prepare for the day. I'm on day 9. First time ever locked. My wife has been very involved, this is new and fun for her too and we have had good communications. For the first week, I was really enjoying and even encouraging my denial - lots of fun and ironically, more than our average sexual interaction. Then, yesterday happened.

The first few days were focused on my cage, removing it, cleaning, checking for health, edging me over and over and then re-caging. The last few days we have moved into a wonderful place of focusing on her pleasure. I think my cage removing the possibility of our sexual interaction moving into a focus on my cock and getting it to orgasm has allowed her to really relax and open up to her own sexual pleasure. It has been wonderful.

I thought based on prior conversations that we had shared expectations that on day 8, Sunday, after a fun weekend of erotic activities and lots of focus on her, that I would have a release. It didn't happen that way. We had a great day together and all evening I was anticipating moving into some form of sexual connect. I thought we might actually have piv sex, I know she misses that too. At a minimum I thought she was going to give me a ruined orgasm. She has been discussing ruining my orgasm with a lot of interest, I think doing it intentionally will be first for her too. Instead, she took a nap (I showered preparing to spend time with her) and after we spent the rest of the evening in pleasant conversation and planing for an upcoming trip, nothing sexual was ever initiated. It felt like this 3 hours from her nap to bed was the least sexual of the entire previous 8 days; she didn't touch me sexually, we didn't speak of my chastity, we didn't playfully interact. We were very focused on each other, but it was totally non-sexual. My cock was straining much of the time. My anticipation was still high. I thought she was just waiting till we got into bed, so I gave her my full attention and had a nice evening.

Getting into bed early, my excitement was high. I got into the bed first as she finished preparing. When she climbed in next to me, I noticed that she was naked and didn't have the chain and key with her. My heart skipped a beat. What was happening, did she just forget it? Was I not getting a release? not even being taken out so that I can have a full unrestraind erection for a few min, something she knows I miss? My fear was confirmed when as she quickly reversed her direction, climbing back out of bed to, not get the key, but turn out the light.

I've worked really hard to not complain or ask for sexual pleasure. Last night I couldn't stop. I expressed that I had anticipated release, wished for sexual interaction, felt my frustration has reached a peak. She softly stroked my sensitive testicles as she told me, "I could give into you, but I don't think I will tonight, I want you just to think about how you might get a release tomorrow."

After a little cuddling she rolled over and fell asleep. I lay there with my thoughts spinning in my head. Anger, betrayal, frustration. I wanted out of my cage. I wanted to masturbate. I didn't want to be dependent on her to have an orgasm. My cock strained in my cage until my balls ached until I somehow fell asleep. The spinning thoughts and aching cock and balls several times throughout a very sleepless night. Early in the process this statement came to my mind and it was almost like a mantra for ma all night, "Real chastity only starts when the person wants out." OMG, I was so frustrated, should I get up and leave the bed? Should I find the key? "Real chatty only starts when the person wants out." At some points I was determined to tell her today that I was done with chastity. Or that she had to give me a certain amount of releases to meet my needs. Or that she wasn't somehow doing her job as a responsible key holder. We have initially negotiated only till next Friday so I was determined not to repeat. Real chastity only starts when the person wants out.

I woke up early and was angry and frustrated until I finished my coffee and took the time to write my thoughts here. Now I'm more frustrated than I've ever been in my life. My cock is literally dripping as I sit and write this. My balls feel like I'm close to orgasming as a gently squeeze and release them with my legs. The anger is still there, but I realize it is misplaced and really frustration. The frustration was greatest because I felt ignored, my needs weren't even recognized. I think it would have been easier to have my excitement and denial explicitly called out rather than have an non-sexual evening. But, i also after a bit of reflection realize that isn't my choice and that my own expectation cause my frustration as much as anything else.

I have go go to work now. I"m more frustrated than other and as instructed, "thinking about the possibility that I might get a release tonight." Or, I might not... I really, really hope I do.

"Real chastity only starts when the person wants out."

 

Sounds like someone discovered that fantasy is much different than reality. My husband went through this as well. Though it was never his fantasy to be in chastity but did think it was hot. What he never realized until it became an almost permanent fixture of his body is how difficult it can be when he has false expectations.

 

Congratulations, you were tested. She wanted the know if she really was in control or if she had to give in to your needs. She probably would have if you told her, but that might have let her know this was a game for you and not her...and then it's just another thing she must keep track of and do.

Giving up control for real, and truly depending on someone else is difficult and easy to try to impose your own will when things aren't going as you planned.

There is another thing that can happen as well...when they truly only give you an orgasm when they choose for you to have one, you might be surprised how low on their priority list your orgasm is. Mine has openly discussed that when she lets me, it is purely for my benefit...she derives more pleasure from my mouth and toys. I never know if I my last orgasm was my last orgasm.

 

Female control is more than a male fantasy/fetish. It is, and should be, a way of life. My wife has complete control of every aspect of our marriage, from money to sex. There is no way around that and I never will challenge it.

 

It isn't always one way or another...many have different ways. For some chastity is a fun way to extend fore play, and add another dimension to sex.

We are pretty serious about it, but even with both of us being serious about it, I wouldn't give up my input in financial or major decisions. I'm still in "true chastity" but not really following your narrow version...to each their own.

 

It's very interesting how chastity is looked at depending what side your on. Are you the one locked or holding the key. I agree that when most of us got into chastity it was for sexual excitement it wasn't untill our key holders started to take some control that we started to realize chastity from Her point of view. Men are always thinking about when and how to have their next orgasm while with women the mans orgsm isn't nearly as important. The statement is so true "Chastity only starts when the person wants out " this is what you've been telling her you want now make the best of it and try and enjoy the journey. Not having an Orgasm for awhile Is in itself very exciting. Except it and Enjoy your new Adventure

 

Hello @rebeccacd404 personally I have found chastity has its own natural progression , at the start new and exiting , then things do really start and you want out , however this for some can lead to the next stage of not wanting to be out , finding the feeling of denial and being kept on the edge far better than a brief release or orgasm and the low feeling that can follow it , so yes agreed it dose really start when you want out but may end up taking you to a totally different place with very different thoughts and totally unexpected emotions

 

When you first start wearing a device you can think of literally nothing else. It consumes you. It doesn't matter what you should be focusing on, all you will be thinking about is your penis and the device that it is contained in. This is a bit ironic considering the focus of chastity should be anything but your penis, or at least the control of it as a source of pleasure.

As time goes by you will find this emotional roller coaster ride calms down but you will still have moments when you can still think of little else. I think one reason that many people stop posting in the Mansion is one of two things then happens. You either realise that you have hit a plateau and this lifestyle isn't for you, or you hit a plateau and realise that this has become your lifestyle, but you aren't as frantic about it as when you first started.

That plateau doesn't mean it becomes boring by the way, it just isn't the focus of everything you do.

 

HT2

 

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Indeed