Mrfelix' road to chastity

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by mrfelix, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    I was taught about male sexuality by a much older uncle when I was very young. Unfortunately he passed away much too early. My first several sexual situations were with men. I preferred women, but with little confidence in my small penis, I found women very intimidating. Older men loved my very in shape body and I enjoyed their attention to it. I loved it when they swallowed my tiny cock and made me explode, but the thing that I found mind blowing was to be fucked. I found that I was a very willing and welcoming receptacle for any hard cock that wanted me. I was a little slut!

    Back in the 70's there were bath houses that I would attend. Being in my early 20's I had no problem attracting attention. No condoms then. I would give and receive blow jobs to a several different men in the same visit. Sometimes sucking more than one cock at a time. I assumed the role of sub and bottom very naturally. The second time that I was fucked by a man I had a hands free orgasm, then every time I got fucked, there was a pretty good chance that I would orgasm like this. I never touched my penis when I got fucked but I orgasmed almost every time. I felt very guilty about these experiences. I didn't want to be gay. I fantasized about women.

    I started dating women when I could. Finally got lucky and experienced my first feel of pussy. I loved it. My Wife was the second woman I had ever been with.

    We married after less than a year of dating. Me 20, her 19.

    Before we married I made my wife aware that I had been sexual with men in the past, and my history with my uncle. I told her that I still had urges and needs that only a man would be able to satiate and that I was gong to the bathhouses to satisfy those needs. She asked a few questions then said she would allow this situation reluctantly but didn't want to hear details. It grossed her out. Eventually I stopped going, but never lost those urges.

    My wife and I have been married for over 40 Years. We have raised two children who have been out of the house for over 10 years now. Our sex life consisted of me getting my rocks off. Needless to say, we fell into a rut.

    About 8 years ago I discovered male chastity and orgasm denial. I felt a tingle in my little dick, introduced it to my wife and with little convincing we jumped into new waters.

    It has been off and on. My wife is not naturally dominant. She doesn't want me in discomfort or pain. A chastity device and not orgasming was a hard thing for her to understand at first. Plus my dicklet shrinks down to nothing half the day and every chastity device I tried would fall off. My Wife doesn't want her little dick pierced and I don't think that would help so that option was out. Finally found the Holy Trainer and at least it stays on, I can pull out the top quite easily but we are on the honor system to keep me from doing any thing like that.

    We started our chastity experience with a lot of topping from the bottom. My bad.

    It wasn't working as smooth as I thought it would. You should be getting me hard more...I need more edging....I want to cum...I don't want to cum.....After our last lull she finally told me to back the fuck off and let her lead this thing, Her way. Big grin from me!

    Now I'm locked in the morning after a shower, I am Not to touch myself sexually, bring up my chastity, my device, talk about my needs, paw at her, no begging period. I am spanked several times a week for a variety of reasons, sometimes as a reward for being such a good boy, or bad boy.

    I have been locked for 10 days now and no orgasm for about 20 days.

    My wife is starting to enjoy oral pleasure more than she did in the past but she has a hard time orgasming from it and usually needs her vibrator and or penetration, if I can provide it. These days at my age my penis has a mind of it's own and never tells me when it's not going to show up. But I will gladly lick and suck pussy for hours. My wife doesn't want a dildo or a boyfriend and I have offered. I purchased strap-ons for her or me and told her I would gladly fuck her or she could fuck me but she isn't interested in anything with the strap-ons. I would love her to start fucking me with a strap on but I think she gets grossed out and flashes back on my gay experiences. Same with cuckolding. I would love it. She doesn't want it. Doesn't understand how a man can let his wife find pleasure elsewhere. If he loves her, he should feel jealous. She sees no pleasure in it for her.

    So at this stage of our lives my Wife is finally starting to find what really turns HER on. One of her favorite things now is to cum with me in her mouth as she vibrates herself to a very strong and long orgasm. As she starts to cum I can feel her teeth as she gently bites my penis without realizing it. After SHE orgasms like this, my penis begins to deflate and I feel like I just orgasmed myself! It's wonderful. The other night she just had me rub her just a certain way and wanted me in her after she finished. I am not to cum and not to ask. She has spanked me for asking to cum(so hot). She likes me to cum in her pussy when she wants to give me release. I have asked her to let me clean her, and that she should make me eat my cum if allowed orgasm but she is against this for now. I am taking baby steps to see if she will allow me this pleasure in the future. Again I think it's the gay phobia she has for me.

    Anything she desires is OK with me. The hardest thing for me is to be ignored. But I have to learn to accept this also. I happily accept only occasional releases any way she desires. I think I would even endure permanent chastity if she wanted that for me.

    Finally taking the reins and dictating what she wants is the right step for us now and I am working hard to let this happen while loving the ride.
     
  2. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Can't wait for more of your journey.
     
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  3. manintyres
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    manintyres Junior Member

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    Looking forward to seeing your journey as you both progress .
     
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  4. Chastitylover
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    Chastitylover Small Member

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    wow you seems to have pretty high libido for a man in his 60s, btw from your chastity photo your dick looks fine certainly not small or tiny unless that is you fully erect in the tube lol
     
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  5. Patsey Belle
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    Patsey Belle Your servant Miss!

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    A lovely honest life and description of the transitions. You are fortunate to have the partner you have willing to travel at least part of the way you have come so far. Your chivalry is starting to show through when you focus on her needs, her desires, her pleasures. All the very best in your FLR but most of all my highest respect's and best wishes to your partner! I think she absolutely rocks! :) :) :)
     
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  6. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    I have always had a high libido. In my 50's I developed erectile dysfunction and could only masturbate to orgasm. We hadn't discovered male chastity yet. After a few weeks of chastity erections are becoming less and less of a problem. My Wife wants PIV often and I am usually able to deliver. This is something I haven't read about very often but chastity solved my erectile dysfunction! Another reason to enjoy this lifestyle! By the way, I just got the same little Chinese knockoff that you have. I love it! Perfect fit.
     
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  7. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    Thank you very much. My Wife and keyholder of over 40 years is a saint. She has been conservative and vanilla for most of our married life, but entered into the chastity lifestyle with open arms and is now really showing me how this thing is going to work....her way!
     
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  8. Chastitylover
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    Chastitylover Small Member

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    Thats awesome!
    I like the look of my small caged dicklet a lot and I tend to get a bit aroused after peeing as it look so cute :)
     
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  9. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    In the last week we have been intimate at least 4 times. My Wife has had 6 or 7 long orgasms and I have none. I have not asked for one, I have come very close to losing it 3 or 4 times but I remember that spanking after my last unauthorized ejaculation and don't want that to happen again. One of our new rules is I am never to ask about a release date.
    What is fascinating to me right now is the chastity tears. Leaking.
    Up until a few weeks ago, I had never leaked in my life. I think,( I can't even remember now) it has been about a month since any true release and I had been locked up every day, when I started to leak after peeing. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I don't leak while being aroused or during PIV, just after peeing and, I just found out, only when locked in my Holy Trainer. No trainer no tears.
    I just got a tiny metal Chinese cage, wore it all day yesterday, no tears. Today back in the Trainer, and I'm leaking again.
    Gotta love the Trainer, for this reason alone. I love the tingly feeling and the leaking. It feels like I am suffering for my commitment to my Lady and I love it. My Wife finds the whole thing humorous.
     
  10. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    I'm sooo horny right now. I know that I could cum by just jacking my holy trainer back and forth....but that would be cheating. It has been the longest denial period ever for me. I can't remember when my last full release was but I had an accidental ruined discharge 20 days ago. I want to beg for release but I'm strictly prohibited from speaking anything about chastity unless asked. My Wife has casually mentioned that she hasn't thought about a release. If this lifestyle is all about her pleasure,Why would she be concerned about that. So right now, No release in sight.
     
  11. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    Even though releases are rare around here right now, the sex has been fantastic. Whatever we do, it is all about Her enjoyment and or pleasure. My goal is to give Her as many orgasms as possible. I never think about my orgasming anymore. If my Lady orgasms with my penis in Her mouth or vagina, I will immediately start to go soft. It's like I had a orgasm of my own. I can contentedly roll over and go to sleep.
    My favorite position is with my face buried between her spread legs. My Wife has worked with me and adjusted my technique into what she enjoys. The results being Her accepting my oral affections more and more.
    So now I pace my actions more. Keeping the motions slow and deliberate like She prefers, and we both reap the rewards.
    I now celebrate Her orgasms as my own.
     
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  12. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    Now back to making myself crazy horny looking at cuckold cream pie on Tumblr.
     
  13. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    Yesterday I was a good boy all day. At about 10pm I was getting a bit antsy from no attention to any of my needs. My wife got up from the couch and told me she was going to bed. I was to unlock and could either stay watching tv or come to bed. I was super horny from being locked so long now that I asked if I could touch myself after unlocking. Wrong! Topping from the bottom again. No answer.
    I got the look.
    I sheepishly turned off the tv and followed to the bedroom where she had already taken out the paddle. I bent over the bed and apologized as she spanked my ass.
    She then told me to stand at the side of the bed and masturbate to her. She had me as myself 2 times and told me she was going to allow me a release before I misspoke earlier. Then she told me to go to sleep now. A few minutes later when I finally started to calm down she suddenly turned over and said let me see my cock. She then told me to edge myself again and I better not cum. Well I was stroking away she fingered her pussy and was feeding it to me saying wouldn't it be nice to put your face down here right now. Well you're not because you haven't learned to behave yet. She then told me to cover up and go to sleep leaving me with no doubt about who is in charge.
    I am trying so hard to learn.
    And my Wife is patiently showing me the way.
     
  14. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    What a good feeling this adventure for you has. She is obviously discovering and enjoying her new role with you and I'm not hearing too many complaints on your part either. I hope it continues to grow and evolve for you both.
     
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  15. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    It had been 3 weeks since any kind of release at all. I had a ruined orgasm 3 weeks ago. Before that it had been at least that long, I can't even remember.
    It just so happens that in the last few days my wife has hardly touched me at all and has requested that I leave my chastity device off. No contact at bedtime, no tease in denial. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I have to learn that's not my job. My job is to be available and eager. Last night my wife called me to the bed and told me to get myself hard and ready for her. She then proceeded to give me a lesson and how to please her. From PIV to oral back to PIV. She orgasmed once hard on my face and kind of went limp. My cock started to go limp as well. She recovered quickly and told me to stroke myself hard. As I entered her she began gyrating her hips drawing me deep inside of her I started to pull myself out so I wouldn't have an accident when she wrapped her legs around me and pulled me in further. She told me to beg her to let me cum. I begged. She said yes, and I exploded. Deep.
    I wanted her to ask me to clean-up but a towel was her request.
     
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  16. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    Today my wife instructed me that I was still topping from the bottom. That's not how she put it but that's what I would describe it as. She told me that I was being too clingy. This is something I have struggled with in the past but thought I was doing a good job of it. Apparently that's not the case. I need to work harder at that. I know that I get over-excited and I'm trying to internalize that a little more. I have also recently been taught that my wife prefers not to talk about chastity or my penis or how great I am feeling because of chastity or how great my last orgasm was or her last orgasm was or..... blah, blah, blah. She has put her finger to my lips and shushed me and said let's not talk about this for the rest of the day. I'm thinking a hard spanking would work better than a shush......but there I go topping from the bottom again.
    KEEP CALM, SERVE AND ENJOY is my new mantra.
     
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  17. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Have you ever heard the phrase. " Be careful what you wish for" you are starting to understand what chastity and FLR really are. She has control and unless you want to get into trouble and possibly disciplined you can't do much. What you can do is try being extra nice to her doing things for her than maybe she'll reward you, but maybe not. Welcome to World of Submission
     
  18. sissybitch
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    sissybitch Long term member

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    SUBMISSION !!!! , This lifestyle in one word
     
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  19. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    yes sissybitch I was trying to be gentle you know take it slow. No CAPITAL LETTERS. LOL
     
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  20. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    You seem to have a problem with your story. You said you had sex with a lot of guys in your early 20's and then said you got married when you are 20. Your timeline is in conflict. Then again, being old myself with 44 years of marriage, my memory is not so great either. :) I had sex with two gay male friends when I was in my teens. Never got an orgasm from being on the receiving end but did giving. Problem was that I was not attracted to men, just sex and sex with the males was all business. When I got a girlfriend there was no comparison since we had lots of foreplay before intercourse. It was unlike sex with males and I was very attracted to women. I had about 30 female sexual partners in my life. I too got married at 20 in 1972. We did not have a monogamous marriage since we played with others occasionally as a couple and formed a poly triad with a woman my wife and I shared. Never felt like having sex with a male anymore even though I had a few offers. I was also like you in that I played football and then spent a year in combat. I was buff and that attracted a lot of women and a few men. Said no to the men but yes to the women.
     
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  21. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    The hardest thing about Chastity is Submitting to your KH
     
  22. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    What a wonderful morning. We were cuddling in bed this morning and my wife was telling me what a good boy I've been lately when she suddenly decided to give me a good boy spanking. 10 hard swats from her paddle as I leaned over the bed. She held my erection as she spanked me and told me how good I was behaving. As I stood thanking her for my spanking she continued to fondle and stroke my penis. I was holding her by the hips and dry humping the air as she stroked my cock. She brought me to the edge 2 times giggling as I tried to pull away. She then sent me off to locl up and make her morning coffee. What a wonderful morning.
     
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  23. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    My memory is excellent. My sex life started with men. I didn't plan it that way. I ached for a girl friend, but as it turned out, I have probably had sex with over 50 different men. It was just a release to me. It was the only sex that I seemed to be able to find. I enjoyed it as it was happening but suffered severe guilt after the fact and yearned to find a woman who would accept me. I had lots of girl friends, but they only seemed to want to kiss. I would go to the local porn shop and get a blow job from some strange man for relief. I stepped up to the bath houses when I started to drive. There were a few in L.A. back then and I would go every 3 or 4 months. Spend hours, with different partners. Oral, anal, gang sex. I found that I really liked getting fucked. I was naturally submissive. I could cum from being fucked without touching myself. It felt as good orgasming this way as it did the first time I got real pussy. That wasn't until I was 17. I lost my male to female virginity to a nice young lady and the next woman that I had sex with was my wife of over 40 years now. I was always having sex with men all through school and from time to time through the early part of my marriage. Before I proposed to my wife, I told her about my bi-sexuality. My using of the bath houses for sex with men. I even told her that I needed to continue with the practice occasionally. To fulfill a craving that I had. She agreed to allow me to continue although she didn't want to hear anything about it, or participate in any way. I absolutely love my wife. I love having sex with her. I would give her anything sexually. We married at 20. I continued to have occasional sex with other men 3 or 4 times a year until I was in my mid to late 20's. I think the AIDs thing, and my wife's general distaste for it, is what made me finally stop. Although I still have sexual urges to be with men. I used to masturbate to it, before chastity. I would love to be a cuckold. I understand the mentality to be a cuck, but my wife wants no part of that lifestyle. I still get a tingle seeing men have sex. Porn only, nothing live.
    That is part of the reason why my wife will not peg me. Obviously I would love it. Maybe a bit too much.
     
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  24. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    You have Arrived.
     
  25. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    Tuesday and Wednesday went by with barely a touch or hint of anything sexual. It was goodnight sweetie, a quick kiss then she rolled over and went to sleep. This time I road it out. No chastity chatter, no complaining about My needs. Then suddenly on Thursday she started grabbing me and asking how the boys were. Around noon she called me to the bedroom and removed my cage. She had me lick her to orgasm then told me to masturbate for her. She had me edge myself several times while I licked her to another orgasm. She then sucked me for a few minutes before telling me to fuck her and shoot my load in her pussy. As excited and satisfied as I was, I was a little disappointed as well, but it didn't stop there. A few hours later she stopped me in the living room and had me drop my pants and masturbate for her again. She pulled me into the bedroom and rode my tongue to another orgasm then had me stand at the side of the bed and continue to masturbate. As she watched me she asked if she allowed me to fuck her again did I think I could cum again? It seemed to be kind of a test, or challenge. I told her, probably. And that's what happened. I fucked her again and came again deep inside her. She shocked me by saying, I don't have a towel, you better lick it up. I dropped to my knees and licked her clit. She giggled and said, you know that's not where you need to lick. I then licked a large deposit from her opening before she stopped me saying that she didn't need that, and it didn't do anything for her. At least I handled it better this time. So maybe we will visit clean-up again. But Wow! Today was like sexual Disneyland! I absolutely do not know what's coming next! From feelings of neglect to feelings of euphoria. I am just riding a wave right now having no idea where it's going. I love my wife.
     
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