The break in

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by bound4blueballs, Mar 12, 2022.

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  1. bound4blueballs
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    bound4blueballs happily locked by ms.bound4blueballs

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    #1 bound4blueballs, Mar 12, 2022
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2022
    Hello all, I've been around here for a while, off and on. My chastity relationship with my Wife has been simila, Off and on. I suppose because previously I wouldn't behave well, and often was able to top from the bottom, and usually get the fantasy rocks off eventually until it became tiresome for my Wife.

    Last Friday, I self locked and handed her the key, asking to start again. Initially we agreed on 2 weeks as a first go. We downloaded the 'obedience habits' app and started making up rules habits punishments and rewards. We also communicated better this time. We both get bashful with these topics, and being able to write down ideas can be easier than speaking them for us. The app links dominant to submissive so it's all shared.

    The next day She was reading an article (https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/tips.htm) and in it, it said that a 3 month break in will be the most effective way to make the arrangement work.
    It was then that She made the ultimatum that I would be required to stay locked for 3 months, or we would not play again.
    This terrified me, as my longest continuous lock up was 21 days. I did however kneel and accept her terms.
    To say I am not terrified is an understatement, but also nervously excited.
    What can I expect from this? I'm sure it's going to be so very difficult and will have emotional impact, on both of us. She understands that it will need effort on her part to hold the line, but seems willing.
    And one last bit. The aching blue balls feeling.. does it last indefinitely? Will it subside? I love the horny frustration, but this aching will put a damper on things. It's very uncomfortable. (I know its only blue balls because it's always relieved with, well relief)

    I need to make this 3 months work.
     
  2. nubbin
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    If you have managed to do three weeks in the past I would not be so worried than if you were just starting out. I am at 73 days without having an ejaculation and I am on the Honor System.
    As with all chastity you must be committed. I rather think it fair that since your Wife is willing to try again you should also be willing to "extend" yourself and try for more.
     
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  3. Matthew989
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    Matthew989 Active member

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    I’m nearly at the end of a chastity period which began in late December so understand your frustration but try to persevere- thanks for the really useful link to the article
     
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  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Good luck. If you've managed 21 days you can manage 90. It'll be fine.
     
  5. bound4blueballs
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    bound4blueballs happily locked by ms.bound4blueballs

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    Thank you. Yes I've done many multiple week lockups without issue before, wearing it is fine. In looking forward to this feeling, and i hope the length this time breaks my brattiness. I think once i truly realise I have no control, I can truly submit
     
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  6. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Wow.

    Congrats and condolences.

    As they say, be careful what you wish for.

    It's now real for you. So kudos to your wife. And may you learn to serve and worship her.

    As for 90 days. I've been doing this for years and for one reason or many others I've only managed to get to one month. So I'll say once you get past 30 days you'll be fine. The trick is breaking that milestone. Since you got to 3 weeks four won't be so hard. But the next month will be all new ground. So I hope you share your journey. After that you do realize that the next big jump is a full year!

    Personally that's my goal. And it's why I suspect getting past a month is hard for me. But in your case, I suspect knowing you HAVE to get to 3 months will make it easier.

    So you got this. And good luck!

    btw I'm just on day two of my current lock up if that helps any ;-)
     
  7. bound4blueballs
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    When I read it, I only read the first few pages and thought it described our relationship with chastity well.
    She found the page that suggested 3 month minimum to set the tone lmao. I wasn't aware it was in there. I may have hesitated sharing it had I read further.
    Too late now, I've no idea where the keys are. And mine is custom fit so...
     
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  8. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Avoid porn and other sexual stimulants. She needs to make sure you are busy and healthy so it would be a good time to up your game with fitness and knock out all the things you have been putting off. She should have a rule that you never ask to be let out and that you must say no if she asks if you want to be released or have an O. This will keep her from feeling guilty and keep you in the right headspace. Chastity isn’t “real’ until you are going down on her and have zero expectations that you are going to be let out. That sounds bad but it’s very freeing and you can focus 100% on her.
    Good luck!
     
  9. b2please
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    b2please A fun and powerful game!

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    Hi,
    Well, I just want to share some cautions.
    First, the great news is that she's willing to try or think about something pretty extreme! That's awesome- and must indicate some combination of her trying to make this fun for herself, and how much she wants to please you.

    > In my experience, having a wife jump to 90 days, in a program which suggests constant teasing, is putting an immense amount of pressure, usually unrealistic for any woman I've ever heard of. Many women would feel like this is like trying to suddenly "Role play" (and not be themselves) for 90 solid days, which will wear them out.

    > The emphasis on teasing and such, is a strong indication this website was written by a horny guy. Or maybe maybe a 1 in 1,000,000 chance, woman who is really turned on by all this ideas. But not by a typical kink willing/ chastity willing female.

    > Here's an example quote: . "A hundred to one ratio is popular" (for how many orgasms she should get per one of yours). Ummmm popular? How does "she" know? I've been playing with chastity & been reading stuff for decades and never saw that. It's fun reading for a horny guy though.

    Sooooo, The key is have fun as long as she's having fun. Do your best. Suck it up and manage it when it's hard and even if it seems like she's not horny or not teasing you. And when she gets her fill for a while TRY super hard to be appreciative, and let her take whatever break she wants. Try to let her discover ways she likes to "play with this".

    Most chastity couples have good times and bad. You can learn from each "failure" or "disappointment", but try to not make them into bigger failures that might limit future progress.

    Hope this may be helpful.
     
  10. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations on your progression, and good luck!
     
  11. true42
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    I am so with you on this (my longest is around 14 days I think). It's why I never sent that link to my wife!

    And the older version of that web site actually suggested 6 months (with a bare minimum of 3 months), and it said that 12 months was even better!

    Fortunately, after only 2-3 days, I am a 100% obedient, respectful, and loving puppy for my wife, so she's never had to push the issue at all. (And worse, after only 2-3 days, I'd probably be willing to send her that link.)
     
  12. fkfk
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    Try to ask her to unlock you for cleaning and shaving, do some more attentive things to her before that and see if she will let you cum without intercourse.
     
  13. bound4blueballs
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    bound4blueballs happily locked by ms.bound4blueballs

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    Yes She understands that it needs cleaning. Even though it's open cage stainless it still has bunched up skin everywhere. I just had a cleaning this morning, and my hands must stay behind me back.
    As for the orgasm, I want this to work so bad, I will not ask/nor am I allowed to. So it's just the tease I feel while cleaning, then supervised shave, then dried and back in. I'm going to be mush soon lol
     
  14. JaySaysYes
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    Congrats :)

    My KH has read that, and some other books she bought on amazon, and decided that 3 or 4 months is what she (Initiially she wanted 6 months) wants so it's 44 days since the key was last in the lock, and it's at least 46 more days yet.

    She has also decided that she doesn't want me to see or touch my hard cock again, it's just for her. I find that hot as fuck.

    We see each other at weekends and she teases me incessantly.

    I used to look at porn daily but that stopped a couple of weeks ago because I was driving myself crazy. Now I find porn to be completely empty - which is a win!

    Cage is steel and is secured with a piercing so I can't slip out of it.

    I don't have a key. If there is an emergency I'll find a way to break the lock/cage.

    The best thing she did was to buy a kitchen timer box that goes up to 999 hours (41 days) for the keys. So no amount of begging will get me released. She said doing that helped her be more relaxed and confident.

    I find the horny levels to be more spikey than elevated now. During the first few weeks it was unbearable.

    I am starting to feel quite detached from the idea of masturbation and orgasm, and I can't imagine what stroking my hard cock might be like. It's such a strange feeling.

    Such fun :)
     
  15. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    I went almost 7 months as punishment. Normally it is around 6 weeks. But during that time she got so many benefits and I learned a lot about what my wife expects of me. Don't get me wrong after 3 months I could have cracked a windshield with my cage. For me, my body seemed to just accept it and it subsided some what. I know it sounds cliché, but it did get easier.
     
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  16. true42
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    Can you tell us more about this? That's quite a punishment! (That's the type of thing that I find terrifying!)
     
  17. Trapped
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    It was During the time she was gauging up the PA. She used to leave the cage off for the night when going up a gauge. She caught me fiddling with her property red handed (literally). When she relocked me she simply told me " don't expect a release any time soon". We have a chastity contract. Our contract does not have scheduled releases, so it is just when ever she sees fit. Usually its around 6 weeks. My release frequency depends on my behavior and merit.
     
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  18. bound4blueballs
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    bound4blueballs happily locked by ms.bound4blueballs

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    I've added a countdown to my phone.
    Showing days left, as well as why I will remain. The reward will be worth the wait
     

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  19. true42
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    So is she liking and looking forward to 90 days?
     
  20. bound4blueballs
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    bound4blueballs happily locked by ms.bound4blueballs

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    So far yes.
    I think she has sympathy for me in my recent panic moments, and may struggle to be strong enough to withstand my pleading eyes. But She seems to have resolve, and has no problem telling me that I better come to terms with I agreed to, with a wicked smile on Her face.
    We are definately more affectionate and intimate together this way so...
     
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  21. true42
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    Good for the two of you. Well, at least for her :p

    As a suggestion: When you get frustrated, take time to sit down, think it through, and write her a nice note. This helped us get through some initial rough spots ... don't leave her guessing what you are thinking and feeling, and make sure that you grease the skids for her by giving her the "insider trading info" of how to keep bending you to her will.

    And do us all a favor and keep us updated about how your journey is progressing ... good or bad, and what is working for you on the way!
     
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  22. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    My Wife suggested a 90 day start when she first locked me up and I almost had a heart attack!

    Thankfully she listened when I requested she start slow. For a couple of years now she gives me an O about every 2 weeks. It's not always a full O, a little more than half the time its a ruin.

    That being said, a full O where I get what I want is so rare as to be almost never. She's going to have me cum on command, or cum in an uncomfortable position, or stay motionless, or use only her hand, or something.

    The days when I get to enter my Wife and enjoy to completion how I want to are completely over, never to return. She insists on that.
     
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  23. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    Screen Shot 2022-03-16 at 3.12.55 PM.png

    ^Thats what my Wife texted me after seeing my previous post
     
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  24. bound4blueballs
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    bound4blueballs happily locked by ms.bound4blueballs

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    Hello All, you've asked for updates so today I will provide one.
    I am currently on day 17 of 90. Such a daunting future for me.
    My wife has been very, very consistent in not letting me have any freedom. I have been out only 3 times for cleaning. Maybe 30 minutes of freedom total. This is by far the most strict lock up I have experienced, as the last time even though it was 3 weeks, I was often let out for a tease or allowed out for an evening get together with friends. Not this time. There are no allowances for freedom.
    This has been hard for me, it's definately affecting me. I'm scared. I'm desperate already.
    The constant grip of my cage, always pointing Her toy down and completely preventing any erection is such a powerful tool for Her.
    At this point my perspective is changing. The fantasy of it doesn't suit my reality. The fantasy usually ends with a happy ending, or has for me in the past. This time that expectation is being crushed.
    This weekend I became a bit petulant, a bit grumpy about being so thoroughly locked 24/7. This was a mistake, and a learning experience. In the past, this would usually get me what I wanted. Not this time. This time, I was fitted with a shock collar around the base ring for the day. My Mistress absolutely loves this device because it takes so little effort on her part, and boy did she use it. I was hit with level 5 shocks randomly and relentlessly all day. Needless to say I was very apologetic in short time, and then the lesson continued. It was a long hard day for me.
    I still have so long to go, and I'm so damn horny already. I had to beg to be allowed to remain locked for the remainder of the term, or never bring up chastity again.
    The reality of long term is absolutely nothing I could have prepared for. It's true chastity didn't begin until you want out. I'm getting my wish.
    I'm so proud of my Wife for being strong. I'm struggling with the humility of not having any power. I never realized how much I exerted my will over Her before now, and this is a difficult thing for me to reconcile and change the habit.
    I will be a better man for Her because of it though. And I remain grateful.
     
  25. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Welcome to the club :)

    I predict you'll get about 2 months in and then want to see what 6 months of continuous lockup is like haha.
     
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