Imagining chastity for 10 years, giving it up in less than 10 days

She is right. Do as she says. The sky's the limit.

 

Stick with it and obey her!!! There is more rewards to follow. You are missing the hole point n it's because of all the fake porn u have watched. We all on here like it for submissive, worship, slave and Dom aspects. I love being locked because I get off on making my wife happy foot massages, house chores, more romantic things. There is a lot that intensifies when being locked up. The sleep get easier and I'm more active and motivated being locked. So those r bs excuses...

 

I'd seriously consider giving it another try. You are fortunate to have a mistress to serve.

 

Impotent? Absolutely not. In fact the very opposite. If I was impotent then this would be pointless.

How do stand it? Because I have learnt what the benefits are. Because when I do get to have an orgasm they are the best I have ever had. Because it has brought my Wife and I closer together than ever before.

The thing is you have to decide what it is you want. The fantasy of chastity and being controlled by a mistress or the reality. The reality is far harder than you could ever expect and will take real commitment and dedication.

Fantasies are good. Living them is better.

 

I have to ask as someone who has been through a similar situation, are you guys close and intimate or is it just a chastity arrangement?

I ask because when I first met my now GF we were both very into chastity but it was too hard for me. I hardly knew her. I felt all sorts of guilt and things because it was just me being horny for some random girl who I'd just met online. I couldn't concentrate on my classes but I didn't know how to tell her. I didn't know if she even cared about my life or if she was content messing it up just so she could get off. None of it felt right. So I cheated on my chastity. When I finally told her I was basically in tears. I told her it was so hard, and that I didn't tell her to begin with because I was afraid she would leave and I could tell something was different about her. I wanted to get to know her as a person. So I asked if we could take a break so I could get to know her better. She agreed and we texted every day and soon we began to form an attraction to one another outside of chastity. Only then were we able to go back into it. And even then there were times where I had to explain how I was feeling to her and she knew that I wouldn't lie to her. There was a very good foundation of trust. She trusted that I wouldn't lie to her or ask out if it wasn't killing me, and I trusted that she would always keep my best interests in mind. Only then could I give up control.

Five months later and I went 7 weeks on the honors system without cumming. In that period there was a night where I edged myself a whole 18 times under her guidance. But I knew I couldn't cum without permission. Not because I physically couldn't, but because it would destroy the trust we built. A trust that I cherished because I cared about her. I wouldn't care if a random person trusted me. But I would care if someone I truly cared for trusted me. And there have been times where we've both needed breaks. Life is complicated. If it weren't her and I would both never work and I would be in chastity 24/7 and I would be her little puppy dressed in latex all the time. Sadly that's not the case, but I still love my life more than I ever thought I could.

My point is, in theory it always seems so hot. And trust me, when you find the right situation it's amazing. But the truth is, this is a hard game we all play. And it's easy to beat yourself up because you wanted something for so long but when you finally get it, it turns out different than you thought. It took me a couple online dommes and pro-dommes to realize that for me the foundation of chastity needed to be love. I couldn't do it outside of a relationship. Maybe you just haven't found your ideal situation yet. And I'm not saying it needs to be perfect, but there are at least some set of minimum requirements that everyone has for any activity to be fun. No one but you can know what those requirements are.

So don't give up on chastity, don't give up on your Mistress, and most importantly don't give up on yourself. There're way too many reasons to feel shitty about yourself in this world. Don't let one of the few things that's supposed to make everything else disappear upset you.

So I'd say just communicate your worries, your desires, and your fears to her. And ask her to communicate them with you. That's what makes us human is our ability to communicate and let someone else into our mind.

TL;DR

Life is messy and reality is never what your fantasy was. It could be better, but it's surely different. Enjoy the journey!

 

So I am way confused. He said he was locked for five days on day five she said no wait few more hrs. How did he jerk off if he is in chastity? Did I miss something?

 

If the person gets horny enough, nothing could stop them from cuming. You could vigorously shake the cage for instance. It wouldnt be great but it works. I'm at 214 days now and worry just a breeze would make me cum, lol.

 

When I started chastity several years ago I would be begging after 4 days, then 7, 10, 14, 30, and so on as time went on.

Now I would like to go at least a year.

After getting a PA and only using the trapped ball part on and off, I don't want the cage off ever as it is so comfy.

 

If it's not for you don't stress. There is much more to life than fetishes or fantasy. But if you wish to continue ask to wear it a few days at a time. If she is truly interested in you and creating a lifestyle for yourselves I'm sure she will give you time, remember thd more time she gives you to adjust, the closer she comes to her goals.

Luck!

 

A bit at a time. Take each day as is comes.

 

At first getting used to the idea that you cannot have sex or orgasms whenever you want is really difficult. You do calm down eventually though and it does start to get easier. Don't forget you are living your fantasy of many years so you are going to be aroused by this.

 

Hi,

Try to start a little slower and maybe over a weekend. After that, then the weekend and one workingday. If you feeling bad all the time and have problem at your work, it's not fun at all.
BUT, you have found a mistress and that is not something everybody will have the opportunity to find, so don't spoil it now. If you try it out slower and you start liking it, then you will be glad you didn't give up.
If you just give up, you will certainly regret it. If you try it out some more and you still feel miserable, ok, it's never to late to give up ;-).

 

My first experience was much like yours. 4+ days in, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate at work. This is the shiny newness phase. It will eventually pass.

Now when I cum I'm a) very glad/grateful b) a bit sorry that now I have to go hrough the whole first few days again before I settle into it again.

We keep changing. Not just me but my KH as well.

 

It's a lot of training aswell. Push yourself, but know your limits. Chastity is enjoyable if you know what you can expect from it - and also, what you can't. If you have lived with this fantasy for numerous years, it takes quite some time to adjust to the reality, which surely is different to what you read online. Most blogs are by people who enjoy getting off by crazy chastity fantasies, but never tried it themselves, let alone in a relationship. It can work though, and it can be very beneficial. Try to forget what you read online. The real world with work and meetings is different and youre right, you need a clear head for those. If that means you also need empty balls, too bad. But don't worry, you should be able to adjust to the higher levels of your libido, it just takes some patience, an understanding kh and practice.

 

pain and sleeplessness. Sounds like a device issue. A good fitting device will make you much more comfortable. Physically.

 

Very well put @Aoilioa - there are so many chastity themed Tumblrs that are totally unrealistic. If you think your own experience is going to be anything like the way they depict it you are going to be very disappointed. They rarely if ever talk about the reality of giving up something as basic as access to your own penis.

 

Working hard for normal life?

I'm going to take it that English isn't your first language. Also that if you give up so easily then you were never going to be successful even if your 'Mistress' was 'worthy'. Just because she wasn't up to your elevated standards...

Ah, stuff you, I can't be bothered.

 

This woman wasn't going to be a good Mistress so you give up. Instead of looking for a partner with whom chastity would be an incredible experience. Instead of experiencing and exploring chastity using an online service or Mistress like Mistress Lucy. Before at least trying to get used to extended periods of denial so you find out why chastity is actually an incredible way to live.

It just seems you have had one go with someone who seems to be completely unsuited to this lifestyle, the fantasy has not been realised so you give up.

Normal is the same as everyone else. Normal is safe, boring and ultimately does not reward you. Boring life, boring sex, boring relationships and boring everything else. Why do you think people go on roller coasters, watch action movies and dream of beautiful women doing pornographic things to them? Because normal is boring and we need to feel alive.

The way you wrote the message about being normal it was as if you were telling us to try and be normal, which suggests you think we aren't normal. I understand now that wasn't your intention.

 

Again spot on. Normal is boring!

But it is easy to say something when you are upset and just had a bad experience. I was away from chastity a couple of years because I had spent thousands of euro on deviceses that didn't work. And after that (not because of the devices) I was burned out for almost a year... And now... Locked by my wife and it's so good to not have a normal life .

And not having english as a native language... I know how it is. On the telephone I can't see all of the text. So when I post the text I have to read the text again and be very fast if I have to change something because of the 3 minute role... I have at least one post that I regret because I didn't have the time to change it... So it actually sound that I am mean to my wife

 

Believe me, the three minute edit rule is a pain even when English is your first language! Why three minutes? Why not ten? I have typos and spelling mistakes peppered all over my account.