I've been in a long term findom rel that recently went to a TPE rel. Advice or shared exp welcome.

Posted this on Reddit but thought it might get a little more attention here. I've just started my chastity training getting used to the device that is. Tomorrow or Wednesday I will be getting locked up for my first attempt at long term chastity. Please read below any advice would me much appreciated.

I've been serving my domme for 4-5 years now and it's slowly progressed into a total control relationship. I started paying 50-100 a week and stayed that way for quite some time, with some breaks as well. I never took it to serious and I never thought she was looking to push envelope. I know that was naive of me to think that but it really seemed like we were ok with how things were. I should have known a little better thinking back that she was easing me into a deeper relationship. She is a very gentle non-aggressive domme compared to others I served before. To be honest, I thought she was to nice to me. I had strayed a lot from her the first few years, but always came back to servie her. She never seemed to mind. She always said that I was meant to be a slave and be owed by someone. I didn't disagree, but I thought it was all fanatasy. She had blackmail info on me but never really played that game in the beginning. It wasn't till about 2.5 years into our relantionship when things started to change. After a month of not speaking, She called and said that I was going to have to start paying some of her bills for the next few months. This was the first time she ever really took control. I couldn't say no, I was instantly weak from how serious she became. We talked it over and I gave her my debit card to set up her bills. It wasn't much more than I had been giving her, but the bills were all reoccurring so it made it more consistant. The next few months we really didn't even talk about the bills that were coming out nor did she ask or take anymore money. She was however talking a lot about a guy she used to control his bank account. It made me so hard and so weak to hear these stories. We tried it for a little while and I just wasn't ready for that yet. About 8 months ago and about 1.5 years after we tried her controlling the bank account. She said that its was time I started paying all her bills including her mortgage. that we should also open up a separate joint account as not to confuse each other's finances. I agreed, she would transfer the amount needed each month. Again, after this we never really spoke of money or findom. It was the most non findom type arrangement I ever heard of. I never thought of her as a dominate is was so strange, but she would make me feel so weak at the same time. it was so weird to describe. We didn't talk about kinky things on cam. I would rerely touch myself around her, not that I couldn't. It wasn't until about 4 months ago that she said it was time and we need to talk. She made it pretty clear I was going to be paying her bills from now on and that we were way past going backwards at this point. I didn't realize what we were doing together or how far this had all come. I know it sounds crazy but I kept saying I'll tell her next month we have to back off paying half your bills, that's just to much. I just never got the nerve to ask and it always felt like asking her to stop would be wrong. I felt guilty ending it abruptly. We talked some more about everything and decided that I had been paying all of her bills so long that she couldn't go back to living the lifestyle she was living. I agreed to a point. I make ok money and have low bills. I knew i could have walked away but I was addicted to her and now I put both of us in this poistion. I knew it wouldnt be fair to walk away and I didn't want to either. I never felt taken advantage of and I do trust her. She did however slowly push me in this direction and I guess now I'm greatful for it. After our talk about not going backwards. I knew I was starting to relish in what was happening. I wanted and needed her to have total control. About 2.5-3 months ago we transfered all of my saving and checking into our joint account. She then set up to pay all my bills to be withdrawn from this account. Then she changed all my passwords and acess to online bill pay and banking. We set my direct deposit to go into the joint account and she is leaving money in my personal account and keeps my debit card locked and unlocks after I ask her permission to use it. She has never once not unlocked the card since we started this and she allows me to spend regularly. I didn't think I would be ok with any of this, but asking her permission to spend money keeps me constantly weak now. Also, having to worry about money and paying bills on time is a plus. I have agreed at this point that my the extra money in the joint account will go her personal account. I know that's where it goes of the charts. I've accepted all of this and honestly it's not as bad as I thought it just took time to get used to. I do trust she will always make sure I have what I need. I've actually been harder on myself then she has. I see how happy it makes her to have all this control and I want her to have more. I'm so glad she is having the time of her life and I'm providing for it. I left out some of details about my true story because I think many would find them unbelievable. This really is true and I'm hoping someone who has or had experience in this can answer some questions. if it can be sustained longterm? What happened when it ended (This is what scares me the most so any insight would be helpful)? I'm worried when I can't give anything but my pay check will she or I get bored? I'm only two months into the total control thing and I was freaking for a week or so, but I seemed to be settled. Was there a point while serving that a huge feeling of regret took you over? I'm sorry for the long read and thanks in advance for comments. I'll do my best to provide proof. I did not tell my Miss I was writing this but I'll let her know and maybe she can verify the story if anyone has concerns.

 

Thank you for your concern. I'm not in anyway shape or form soliciting or recommending that anyone get involve in this type of arrangement and if the Admin would like me to remove the post I surely will. I didn't know in was against the site rules to post about findom. I've seen many posts discussing the fetish. Also, not for nothing it's kind of humiliating and embarrassing (and not in a sexy way) to be into this fetish and admit it in a public forum. I understand your distain for this fetish and I felt the same way, but unfortunately it's gotten the best of me. I wish I could be different or make different choices but this is the road I'm on.

 

I have met her in real life and known her for 5 years. I can guarantee she's not a doing any of what you suggested, but I get your point. I trust her to the point that she's not going to do anything to jeopardize my ability to provide for her. I make a good living and it would be foolish on her part to get mess that up. Not knowing what my balance has been the hardest part about this. I don't want to give the wrong idea about her. She wants a slave and she isnt just trying to rip someone off. She had plenty of opportunity to do that already. She is very upfront about everything she does and has been very patient with my feelings on the situation. I have never been forced into doing what she wanted and anything that I was was uncompfortable with she just took her time until it happened nataurally.

 

I guess I'm looking for someone that is or has gone through something like this. It's not all rainbows and hand cuffs to say the least.

I think you are both right. I am happy but there's a huge amount of uncertainty with my choices. I came of age right before the internet exploded so this kind of thing was always fantasy. When I started getting more serious I could never accept the reality of what was happening. D/s relationships always seemed pretend to me. I know now that they are just as real as any relationship. Please forgive my ingnorance, but I could never wrap my head around that. I guess I'm not really looking for advice so much as learning from poeple in similar situations. It is also nice to put my thoughts on paper, if that makes sense.