Punishment for masturbation during honour method

In my opinion, there is no such thing as the honor system. You may be able to push yourself to 5 or 6 days, maybe even longer. But eventually, you won't be able to control yourself. The only punishment for someone who breaks the honor code is for her to stop playing the game. My advice is to get yourself a comfortable device that is difficult to escape from and give her the keys.

 

You have allowed your wife to give you a post orgasm spanking punishment?

Sorry, I can't help you, I am not allowed to have any say whatsoever in what my Wife does or doesn't do. If you are in control to that level then what you are doing is so fundamentally different to what I am doing that it just doesn't make sense to me.

 

@SlaveMike i guess everybody's different. I've been on the honor system since just before getting my PA and while it heals. My last orgasm was in early September, and i've resisted just fine.

As for punishment, Mrs has said that this is a trial period for how much i actually want long-term chastity, so if i transgress she'll see that as i'm not really serious about it after-all... which would be a terrible thing.

 

My guy was on the "Honor Method" during his PA healing. Well, he wasn't very honest - I grilled him and he admitted to jerking off twice. I wasn't too thrilled about the so it was immediately into the leather chastity belt and vibrating butt plug and then went out to pick up dinner and then to the liquor store for drinks. It was wonderful seeing him squirm in public when i turned the plug on high from in my pocket

 

I have to agree with the others, the honor system is VERY flawed. Let me explain, I have done the honor system at times even so far as locking my self up when I felt I could not have control to not masturbate. And at that time my KH stated "I told you not to so you should do as I tell you", which in all sense of the situation she is 100% right. However it is still all 110% in my own head that I am controlling myself. That to me is the flaw in the honor system. Put in over simplified terms the honor system takes the KH role out of the equation. For me and my KH we need / want her to be in total control of her and my sexuality with it being 150% guilt free for her. So by her locking me it puts her in "control" and by me relinquishing all keys to her and letting her know that only her orgasms are important and that she should never feel a need to allow me to orgasm (my orgasm is only for her pleasure not mine) she is now guilt free to allow all focus to be on her as it should be.

So the honor system has its uses and works for some, but I don't feel it ever really gives the "KH" full guilt free control.

 

If you guys really played the game 100% you might find out that the honour system is a lot more than it first appeares.

There are no distractions such as uncomfortable cages and all the I was only taking it off to wash Mistress. Of course you were!

You definitely need to push on past a week a month at least . You need to get into the zone of not thinking I have 5 minutes I might as well knock one out.
It's just a habit so stopping is pure will power and self discipline.

You should get to the point that a spurty climax is just not worth the blues and the humiliation of cuming .

Anoying enough on your own but having to own up omg either face to face or online not good.

So it's a very simple process with no excuse for failing except your own lack of self discipline.

Xx Wendy

 

I agree 100% that the honor system is self discipline ... but then why do I need a KH? Said a different way, a key and cage involves both people ... honor system really only involves one person. The goal for us by using chastity is not "do I have the will power to not masturbate" it is to adjust both of our behaviors to allow her guilt free bliss (not worrying about my pleasure) and to reduce my masturbation (turn my focus to her). By using a cage and key this behavior change is almost self perpetuating and grows all on its own. The honor system puts focus on me (what I'm not doing to my self), put does not necessarily direct my focus to the KH.

With all that said everyone is unique and what works for one does not work for another, we prefer the benefits the cage creates for the KH mentally not just physically.

 

no different to quitting drinking or smoking I would have thought, very much controlled by chemicals and endorphin's within the brain and conquered by will power if that's the direction and system you want to follow ??

 

Now there is the option of the complete opposite of denial as a punishment.
Example: For your next infraction she invites over the friend of her choice to watch & witness as you wank yourself to 6 orgasms in a time frame determined by your Mistress.

 

I do not begin to understand the difference that wearing a device makes to me, but it does. My Wife noticed the difference in my attitude when I was unlocked while we had a holiday this summer. It was a subtle difference, nothing too bad, but it was there. She decided that it showed she prefers the locked me. and so that is my default now. Even these past two weeks where I am on my own while she is away I have been locked because that is what she wants.

I am not saying that the honour method doesn't work, it does for some. And in the time I was unlocked I was doing as I was told and not breaking any rules. But it wasn't the same for either of us.

I think that there are two basic reasons for this.

If my penis is locked up it is very easy for me to accept that my pleasure is not part of the deal. Reciprocation is a thing of the past and is unnecessary for either of us. This is not as easy when I am not locked up. There is always the will she wont she sort of thoughts that come unbidden. Then there is the sensitivity issue. After a month of denial the slightest touch gets me horny. Wearing a device protects me from some of the risky friction that happens. Just going for a walk when Elle unlocks me after several weeks becomes problematic.

 

The honor system only works for naturally submissive men. Some of us are interested in chastity for its effects, but aren't too well equipped to deal with the frustration, we often resist , whine, etc, and have to literally be forced into compliance. Chastity for some men just doesn't work without a secure device and firm key holder.

 

Punishment is that the honour system is no longer an option for you. You need locked up.

 

The problem with the honor system is ... as a guy ... it is nearly impossible to guarantee chastity in a vacuum. However, what may work is "testing" of the excitement (iike a drug test) of the person to see how fast they get excited. Punishment from there can be based up on the corporal means, standing in a corner, chores, exercise, CBT/ballbusting, etc as seen fit in the couple relationship. E.g. If after 4 days you would expect him to get hard in 60 seconds with specific touching and rubs, and it take 90 seconds. That could be 30 swats, 30 minutes of extra cardio, 30 kicks/squeezes/punches, extra chores etc....

You can fill in the blanks from there, and remember it isn't funishment ... it is punishment.

 

The honor system seems to only work for a few days for me. Can't handle being free much more than that without giving in to selfish needy side, which I hate. It would seem to me that if your going to be deal with a long term chastity lifestyle, a device or two is in order. Just my opinion of course. Enjoy the honor system while you can.

 

I believe it is different for every individual and/or couple.
So no disrespect intended to Joroincharge or anyone like minded but for me being kept locked is my reward for giving her the where, when, how and if of all my future orgasms.

The honour method means there is always room for her to doubt you. Sure an experienced Mistress or KH can tell if you've cheated but there are times when even the horniest of guys gives off all the signs of perhaps having cheated because he is just not in the mood at that time or is less attentive through some other cause or distraction. My being locked serves to lessen those doubts.

I would never want may partner to have cause to suspect that I had cum without her presence and permission. I wanted to explore chastity play and I love it. Why ever would I want anything to jeopardise that. It took me and my then wife a while to build up to wearing a cage from a cople of hours to all day then 24 hours then a weekend than a week it wasn't easy, I am not complaining I'd go through breaking in, acclimatising thing again if it were possible. All the early downsides the sleepless nights, the early mornings the discomfort and at times pain, the burning sensations, the accidents learning how to pee and clean myself without making a mess all ironically worth it to satisfy the lust to be controlled. Not to mention learning to live with the reality of the craved for denial. Our reward for all that time and effort was that I can thankfully be locked, barring maintenance for as long as my partner wishes.

I love the really serious (for me) headfuck of I can not cum without permission and I can not remove my cage or pull out of it without obvious damage to the cage and perhaps myself. I would not try but I want even need to feel that I am unable to. If my partner is generous enough to be my KH and keep me locked 24/7 at her whim then that It is a priviledge I enjoy and want to keep.

I do agree that that my being locked and all the implications of that is intended as gift for us both if I'm honest. I love being locked for and by her ultimately it was my choice to be so, in return she gets whatever she wants whenever she wants it, little happens between us without it being her decision. The big also is that by having any need to consider my pleasure unnecessary, if she wishes, she may encouraged by my locked status allowing her complete freedom to feel no guilt about our time together being soley about and for her pleasure. That freedom of hers is a gift to me. I want her to have any and all the rewards she may get from the responsibility she has undertaken and the effort she has to put in through undertaking the role of being my KH. It her enjoyment of that which gives me my pleasure regardless of other considerations.

So again my apologies Jo but for me being locked by my partner was, and would be, my reward.

 

I started on the honor system but after my wife wanted to go more than 3 weeks I told her I needed a cage and she told me to get anyone I wanted. It sounds as if you are more or less asking for punishment by masturbating too soon and telling your wife. You need to think if you are really into chastity or more into BDSM. Having been into both I sense a difference in what you are doing but I can be wrong. It has known to happen once in awhile.

I have done things just to be punished myself and my wife quickly caught on to that and put an end to it by refusing to punish me the ways I wanted to. Did the drink urine and worse thing. Wife has a nice collection of whips, canes, crops, paddles and straps. We had all sorts of S&M stuff because my wife's girlfriend sexually dominated me for over 30 years and was a true sexual sadist.

We have found that the method you intend to use did not work for us because my wife felt that I was purposely masturbating just to be punished. What she did instead was the worst punishment I could imagine. She simply refused to play my fetish games with me. If I masturbated before 3 weeks she would just refuse to play anymore and tell me to do whatever I wanted and then used her vibrator on herself until she saw I was sorry enough. Did not have to hit me once. However, when we were in BDSM, I often pissed her off to get punished and did what other men have done too by suggesting punishments that I actually wanted, but pretended that I didn't.

Also, if you can only go 4 days without masturbating, you are ready for a chastity cage. As I said, sounds like you are more into BDSM but who cares what you call it as long as you both enjoy it. Try a cage and see what happens. You may like it or you may just want to stick with BDSM but you can also combine the two. We did for a while but we are old and my poor old body cannot still take a licking and keep in ticking. Old skin does not heal as quickly as young skin.

 

Did the honor system for years, but eventually it came out that I had not been as honorable as it seemed. That's when the cage was introduced for times when She is at work or otherwise away. I am unlocked when She is home. Surely, I have received "funishments" in the past, but now minor infractions take away my lingerie for a day (and wearing boxers) which I really hate or locking me in the KTB for a period of time decided by Her. This is not Fun in any way for me!

 

@LockedPom :
Weekly orgasm? A man liking chastity should be able to manage this. Thus I can not see any honor in your behaviour.
Do you really think that being punished the right way for not being honor will change anything?
My advice: do not try the honor methods any further until you have the right attitude to want it really really really.

Sorry. Hard - but my opinion!

 

I couldn't do the honor system, not that I couldn't stop myself, but because I enjoy being forced to stop. I don't want the temptation all day every day. I could but wouldn't want it.

I know how it would probably go. Me reaching down there "well hello stranger been a long time, maybe we should get aquatinted. Just a little to make sure you still work. Getting kinda close, I better stop soon. No one will ever know if I just finish up now will they. Accidents don't count do they? Oops"

I would say if you are both into this, and you really do touch yourself that much, a device is probably the best bet. If a device isn't going to happen, you need to buck up and try harder. A little silly asking someone to be in charge of your orgasms and then wanking every few days.

Punishment isn't really needed at this point, figuring out what you want is what needs to happen. Once in a blue moon, and punishment might be a deterrent, blatantly disregarding the rules on a regular basis means you either don't want to play, or need a device.

 

I do a mix of honor system and cage. The honor system didn't work well for us, at first. I spanked him constantly, put him in disciplinary chastity, he kept looking at porn. (If I see porn on his computer, it's assumed that he masturbated and he has to be disciplined).

Then, I bought this wood paddle. This particular paddle seemed to get the message across to him that I didn't like it when he looked at porn. A few applications of this particular wooden paddle to his bottom cut his porn viewing way down. When I figured out to spank him over my knee with his cage on, it brought tears. Now the tears come every time he takes a trip across my lap, no matter what I use to apply physical discipline to his rear end. Even if I squeeze his penis between my legs so I can make him ejaculate (I love watching him eat his ejaculate and I get to give him a tawsing for ejaculating), he still cries. That cut his porn viewing even more. It's gotten to the point where I had to make some more rules for him so I could put him over my knee enough to make sure he's properly and frequently disciplined.