What’s good for the gander

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Nicoftime, Nov 13, 2018.

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  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Just thinking out loud, the differences of what is now acceptable and what now isn’t.

    When we first started dating, she was more sub oriented. Not sure if that’s because that’s what was expected or if it really turned her on, but she said things like “I’m your slut”, she hasn’t said anything like that since I wore the cage. She was also ok with a slap on the ass, asking me what she could do for me, and blowjobs were a standard during sex. Any and all positions were ok.

    Now a slap on the ass would mean a serious paddling in return, she doesn’t ask what she can do for me, and her riding me is the standard unless she tells me “you can be on top” and it’s always after she has given permission for me to cum and is letting me get there.

    It’s funny how different things are when things are always her way. Especially the positions. I get it, some positions I either can’t reach or don’t get in very far, but I never really understood how little she wanted the others until she was making the choice and picked every time. I didn’t realize when push came to shove, if given her choice, she’d rather not go down on me.

    Adding partners is equally unequal as well. I think if said I wanted to fuck someone else she would blow her top! I don’t believe she would feel guilty or “wrong” if she told me she wanted to fuck someone. She wouldn’t just do it, and has told me that having sex with a stranger would be too scary and weird. She likes to keep that as fantasy, but the point is she is comfortable telling me it turns her on, yet she would be pissed if I told her the same.

    Granted there are physical reasons why this turns her on, and why I would be somewhat open to her pursuing it(more endowed, masculine, dominant), but we are not on the same footing when it comes to acceptable or expected behavior as we once were.

    Even orgasms are not something she is willing to share. I know that is a part of chastity, but before all this, she understood that people get themselves off, and although it wasn’t discussed, felt it was a natural function. Now, if she thought I had an orgasm without her, or her permission, she would be genuinely upset. She would take it as a personal slight. Yet I watch her get herself off all the time, she sometimes tells me while at work that she’s going to give doxy wand a ride, and is perfectly guilt free with getting herself off without me.

    Just some thoughts on how unequal our perceptions have become of what is “ok”. I’m certainly not complaining, I think our relationship of her total honesty and having her happy is what I’ve always wanted...just thinking out loud about what is good for the gander isn’t always acceptable behavior for the goose :rolleyes::D
     
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