Hello everyone! My boyfriend and I have started trying to experiment with orgasm denial and chastity to spice up our love life. We've been together just shy of 14 years and needed some variety, something more than the "3-days a week vanilla sex" we've become accustomed to. I am not a very dominant person by nature, he is more the dominant one in our relationship but he has been trying to let me lead in the bedroom and come up with some more exciting things to do. He definitely was the one who initiated this change. About 2 years he started telling me about orgasm denial and male chastity and we've been trying to incorporate this into our routine. So far, we've established a timeline of 4 weeks on (only ruined orgasms during this time) and about 3-4 days off in between. We agreed on nothing painful and too "out-of-the-norm" (no bondage, no handcuffs, no ice/heat play, etc.) because neither one of us is comfortable with that. I have gotten to a point where I am kind of stuck. I have researched online different ways to ruin his orgasms but I feel like I am running into the same ideas on every website. I am looking to find new ways to ruin the orgasms and maybe more ideas for things I can do to have more fun (on my side, of course). Like I said, we have been together almost 14 years and we are very committed to each other. I am not looking for ideas to make him hate me or hate our intimate time together. Just ways to spice it up and surprise him once in a while. Any of your ideas are appreciated! Thanks, E
I'm not sure about more ways to ruin orgasms, but there are other ways you could shake things up. You could have him have to earn the ruined orgasms or earn an earlier release date, for instance. Maybe he could earn points toward one of these goals by doing chores for you, or treating you to nice dinners, giving you some back/foot massages, or giving you a certain number of orgasms per night? (I'm fond of the last one myself, as it's led me and my boy to experiment with lots of cunnilingus positions~) You could also use a random element—coin flip, die roll, etc.—to determine whether he gets a ruined orgasm or to adjust the duration of his locked period.
Plain a get away weekend all hot outfits all adult play let him in on planning keep him locked and play and tease for a week straight so his imagination is running hard for the weekend. And forget to bring the keys with you. There's a ruined orgasm
There is only one real way to ruin an orgasm that I know of, and that is to stop any stimulation at a point where build up to orgasm has been reached but the full orgasm is a few strokes away. This allows him to release some of the pressure of the build up of cum which is an issue women can never truly understand. It also increases his frustration as he is close, so very close to what he wants, but denied by the woman he loves and wants to please. The lack of a full orgasm stops the post orgasm drop a man experiences. It takes me three weeks to build up enough pressure that I am putty in my Wife's hands. There is no rush to take what you are doing any further than where you are. Sharing your ideas and fantasies can help. Men are usually much happier to do this than women so my Wife and I share a locked tumblr, one that only we can see, where we post things we find that turn us on. I have learnt a lot about my Wife this way, the things that get her going or more importantly turn her off.
I understand where you are coming from, you both are enjoying this and don't want to hit a dull spot. Maybe it's time to step outside both of your comfort zones and try something you never thought you would. Perhaps plan a nice private dinner with the theme being to discuss your deepest and most intimate sexual fantasies. A couple bottles of wine might help lol. Anyway, as you're discussing your ideas, write them down, try to come up with 5 or 10 ideas and maybe make a plan to try something different each week. Maybe each thing that you plan out can be something that helps instill your dominance a little more each week. I know you said you guys don't like bondage but maybe try something a little lighter, tie his hands up and tease him however you wish, blindfold him and surprise him by doing something unexpected etc... Personally I think most things are worth trying at least once and you might end up liking something totally unexpected