So I hit the 4 week mark since my last orgasm today and it's messing with me more than in the past. My wife and I sort of stumbled accidentally into chastity about 7 months ago. It quickly turned from a sex game to a lifestyle and an FLR. Because it was new and exciting I didn't mind the duration of lock-ups growing. I was also allowed to pleasure myself as long as I got permission first and didn't orgasm. I was also unlocked quite a bit for a variety of non-sexual activities with her permission. The result is that I was chaste, but spent maybe 10% of my time unlocked and had as much penis stimulation as I liked. She has gotten to be much more dominant and stricter. I am rarely unlocked for anything anymore and if I am she is quite strict about getting me locked back up quickly. She refuses any penis self stimulation and punishes me severely if I try to sneak it in. All of this is actually good as far as I'm concerned, but I'm now freaking out a little too. I think the thing that is getting to me is the gravity of this as a lifestyle on a permanent basis. That I might be looking at a handful of orgasms a year and what does that mean for the rest of my life? I think it's sort of a mid-life crisis meets chastity lifestyle. Then again, maybe it's just a Monday.
I had these thoughts a little while ago...I did the math, and realized I was on pace for less than 400 more orgasms in my life. I used to do that in a year no problem. Then there is the realization that it may be even less, she may just decide that it's better for her if they don't happen more than a couple a year, or even none. I am ok with her decisions so I'm not complaining or pushing her to give me more orgasms, she knows what's best for her/us and I can live with that knowledge....but, it still gave me pause for reflection and a higher awareness of my sexual future.
I just posted about something similar. What was once our sex game is now our regular sex life. No FLR or D/s involved. We are mostly attracted to the tease and denial part of chastity. I had reached a point where I would get anxiety attacks thinking about how long I had to wait for an orgasm. Just recently I faced a decision whether to continue with this or not. I asked my wife if she really enjoyed it and she said she liked me better when I was denied an orgasm and dreads me after my orgasm. So I made the decision to just keep going until our old age problems make it impossible. I am very used to wearing a chastity cage and it is no longer any bother at all. It feels very natural. Just try going longer every other time and you will be amazed at how long you can go without an orgasm. You reach a point when you want an orgasm, but also do not want to have to start all over again for 10 seconds of pleasure. I was not completely comfortable with chastity until the 4th year. That was also the year my wife stopped feeling any guilt for denying me an was experimenting with how long she could take me. She tried 6 months but I was given an orgasm at just shy of 4 months. Now she tries to keep it between 2-3 months although my next chance for an orgasm, our anniversary, is almost 4 months from my last orgasm. I think she will make me go the distance because it makes no sense to let me orgasm right before our anniversary.
Way to go @PouchPantyLover your relationship is progressing nicely. 7 months ago did you think you would ever be in a situation like this not cumming for over 4 weeks? I know how you feel I'm also rarely unlocked except for her enjoyment and not for my own Orgasms I love your comment about mid-life crisis, I could have saved a lot of money on cars and motorcycles, Ha ,
Well done on reaching the 4 week mark. I do wonder though, when you talk about having less orgasms than before, aren't these orgasms better than the ones you used to have when masturbating with no other interaction than with yourself?
That is an outstanding question and I would say sometimes yes and sometimes no. To be fair I would say my orgasms before chastity were probably 25% sex with my wife and 75% masturbation. The real pop I get out of our chastity and FLR relationship isn't improved orgasms. There are two real perks for me. First off is a profound sense of affection and love for my wife. I just love touching her, holding her and kissing her. Pre-chastity I used to not be nearly as loving and I really enjoy this change. Secondly this has really brought out my submissive side and in turn her dominant side. We've always had these roles to some degree or another, but chastity has made them much stronger. In the past she would only go so far with her dominance. Ironically she is loving chastity as much as me and is willing to fight for it, so as a result her dominance becomes stronger. It's sort of this snowball rolling down a hill gathering mass and speed. Every once and a while that freaks me out.
Yes Nic, exactly what I was thinking although I was coming up with 280 more in my life. Not sure if that's an age or rate of orgasm issue.
Thanks Mash, and no I had no idea this is where we were headed. When we first started we used a phone app to create a wheel of lock up time. I think the first wheel contained the options 24 Hours, 36 Hours, 48 Hours, 60 Hours and 72 Hours. I remember being really scared of getting the 72 Hours.
72 hours locked up. I agree that's terrifying how could anyone stay locked for 72 hours. WAIT I miss read that I thought it said 72 days. LOL my how things can change over time. Congratulations on your success
This isn't a competition, everyone is different, so I'm not bragging when I say that at the time of writing this I am approaching four months of lock up and denial. When we started she would lock me up for a few days. Over the year and a half we have been doing this she effectively doubled the length of denial each time. I then got taken to a point where the average length was about two months. This is the second time she has taken me past that two month period, my longest was five and I have a strong feeling that this time is going to be longer. I have to be careful reading threads like this as they induce a sudden rush of arousal and could potentially cause me to have a hands free ruined orgasm. They remind me of how much she has developed over time.
Your so right it's not a competition if it was you would be the winner. Everyone is at a different stage in their chastity Journey. You just more experience than Pouch PantyLover. Five months is a long time I hope I never experience that. Take Care
I agree that 5 months is a long time. I just passed 5 months and 9 days. Only prostate milking So far. Don't know when I will be unlocked. I'm just glad we sprung for the Jailbird. No problem with comfort or cleaning. Just hang in there.
No prostate milking for me. Since I started having post tease session hands free ruined orgasms my Wife is happy for my body to decide when I need to make a bit of room without any effort on her part. I'm feeling the warning signals now that if she decides to have fun wth me it is going to happen again. Usually about an hour or so after she has finished, sometimes sooner and once the next morning, I feel waves of growing arousal that lead to me ejaculating. It's pretty intense. She loves it and sees it as a confirmation of her power over me.
I don't think it's entirely down to it being a Monday. The "4 week mark" is often when men begin to struggle bit. You'll find it easier again soon enough I'm sure. With regard to the amount of orgasms you may or may not have to come (no puns please) it's all a matter of attitude adjustment. I know that many here regard orgasms as a step backwards. An orgasm will also burst that beautiful dopamine lake you are swimming in. Furthermore you need to remember that they aren't actually necessary (unless you're planning a baby). It's ok not to have them. Leave it up to your wife.
I'm trying to work out how many more orgasms I would have had if we hadn't started down this chastity journey. I am approaching 50, but was still masturbating a few times a week, sometimes twice, sometimes three times. We would have sex a few times a month. As a rough estimate I would say I was having twelve orgasms every four weeks. 144 a year. I am hoping to live at least another twenty years and would expect to be at least partially sexually active for most of that. I can see there being fewer orgasms as I reached my twilight years, but not a complete cessation. This is confirmed by reading posts by older members of the Mansion. So, 2880 orgasms over a twenty year period, maybe reduce that by a fifth or a quarter, which makes it between 2100 and 2300 orgasms. I am already down to two this year, five last year. I only see this going in one direction. I can honestly see this ending up as an annual orgasm. So, from 2100 or 2300 down to somewhere between 20 and 40 full orgasms. Did I really sign up for this!? On the other hand before my chastity my Wife didn't masturbate and would only have orgasms if we made love or I gave her oral sex. So, about four orgasms a month. There would however always be months where nothing happened due to illness, travel and work. I can remember multiple times where nothing happened for at least two months and, due to our long distance relationship at the time sometimes as long as six months. Average it out at about about 30 orgasms a year. This year isn't representative of where I see us ending up. We are under a huge amount of personal stress yet she has still had 24 orgasms already and is likely to end up having at least that again as the stress is due to end in August. Last year she had 72 despite a two month period of nothing following surgery, and another month of travel reduced playtime. So, I can see this going towards an average for her of something approaching 80 or so a year. 1600 or so over a twenty year period, take off some for a natural reduction over time and we are still at a figure of about 1200. Had we continued the way we were that figure would have dried up completely as she was rapidly going off of sex with me. This is obviously complete conjecture and utterly geeky. But it does demonstrate how powerful a reality this chastity thing can be and exactly what a woman can get out of it. It doesn't even touch on the increase in non sexual intimacy she has received at that same time, which far outweighs the increase in orgasms. It also doesn't touch on the change in how she receives those orgasms. We hardly ever have penetrative penilecentric sex anymore, it is all about yoni massage and oral pleasure. And as soon as I mention a yoni massage I get a huge warning signal that a hands free ruined orgasm could be induced if I carry on thinking about my Wife enjoying such an occasion!
I think this is the way forward. Caged orgasm while you're busy pleasuring your wife. I don't think it matters how many of those you have. I'm sure she will really appreciate them and they couldn't be construed in any way as being selfish acts.
I know I am more loving the longer we go and we are in no way up to the point that others are, I share you anxiety with the wait. I think it makes it easier when my KH is teasing when she teases me it relieves me anxiety and lets me know she appreciates my devotion.