bond servant or bond-servant See synonyms for bond servant on Thesaurus.com noun a person who serves in bondage; slave. a person bound to service without wages. Early in my chastity journey with my wife, there was quite a bit of cognitive dissonance in our relationship because I was trying to introduce the concept of a contract. The latter implies an enforcible agreement between two free people. But what I had originally proposed and she had agreed to was a bond-servant relationship. I had agreed to give her control of my body and sexuality with no stipulations. She accepted. There were no terms and there was no going back. I need this constant reminder. Sometimes, especially given my spontaneous libido, I start to feel neglected and don't feel I'm being treated fairly and I get sullen and act out. That's when I need the reminder. "Who are you?" I think many of us struggle with anxiety or discomfort that results from simultaneously holding contradictory or otherwise incompatible attitudes / beliefs. Is chastity for you 1) a fun game, 2) a contract agreement between two parties with equal rights, 3) an irrevocable agreement in which you relinquish rights to your sexuality to your KH partner, or 4) something else? And does your KH partner have the same understanding as you? Getting on the same page will help the relationship and make boundaries easier to define.
No. 3. Since choosing to give my KH control of my chastity, I've had no choice in the matter. She enjoys having control of my sexuality very much, and has chosen to keep me permanently locked. It works well for us: she's happy knowing that I'm continually frustrated and that I'm bound to her.
Weeeeeell, life as we understand it is duality. Them and us, inside and outside, you and me, nice day and shit day. It never ends until it ends. In this poll, I vote for Putin #4. I don't know what she thinks, and I hopefully never will since I am often overwhelmed with what I think and the thought of mixing an entire other in there seems like a recipe for madness. But we're both quite content and seem to be whirling along together as any whirly things could, and enjoying the entire performance of course.
We are definitely a 3. We recently did a 5 week stint of 24/7 chastity. At the end we discussed me giving up all electronic access to anything sexual, and I agreed. She then told me she liked the way I worshipped her while in extended chastity and wanted at least another 5 weeks of no porn/sexy anything, and chastity 24/7. She has been in charge of my orgasms for quite a while, but now she wants me focused solely on her, thus the upgraded no porn rule. My electronic devices are already locked down via an app that she controls. The more we go down this path the more she likes the attention to her.