For those of you who have mistresses that are not wives/friends/lovers... I'm curious about your situation. Where did you meet your mistress? Do you pay your mistress for what she does or do you compensate for the service? Is it just someone you met and have a side relationship so to speak? I could imaging it getting expensive to see a mistress even once a month and it seems like guys interact with their mistress a lot. I can see going to a mistress for an hour BDSM session but chastity is a little different, I think. Chastity is a big interest of mine. My wife knows but the situation is that she knows. She's not into it cause she's only focused on our 3 kids. She didn't shut me down 100% when I told her of the benefits an encouragement to learn more. Nothing has happened since, and it's been a month. I'm not saying I'm going to pursue a mistress. I just want to understand it. Thanks
My advice is if your wife didn't shut you down then just quietly start wearing a device, be your own keyholder and prove several things in the process. One is you are serious, another is it is actually very easy for her and does not demand hours of time or masses of kinky sex (unless she wants it to) and yet another is she gets to relax with regards sex and when and how it happens. With three kids around Male Chastity could actually make a lot of sense.
Hi Personally I would keep your Mistress idea fermly in a box locked shut. Only in a few cases does it work. In most disaster . Your wife is looking after your kids ... and you are off doing what ever and spending the household budget! !. Get a cheap Chinese device see what happens. If it works cool if not put it up for sale probably for what you paid for it. However think very carefully several times and not when knocking one out !! Now be a good boy go play with the kids the wife but not your boy bits . Xx Wendy
I thought about that. One thing that's come up is then you should help out more without your kink. I do cook and clean help with homework...everything a great husband does. I explained that we could come up with a plan that I only come out when she wants it. The problem is, she's said that she's fine never doing it again. That may have been a weak moment though. I love her like crazy and it's extremely frustrating getting shut down EVERY time. I love to eat her out, cause I truly love to please her but she doesn't seem to enjoy it/doesn't let loose and enjoy it. I orgasm quickly so she doesn't get ANY satisfaction from me and she hates foreplay. I feel like I'm already in chastity but without the cage and knowing she doesn't care if I masturbate. I've thought about getting one of the cheap China cages and concealing it but we have a small house and share one small bathroom. I even tried to explain the benefits of me not asking for sex even though I'm down to asking up to 4 times a month. Sex maybe once every two months. I guess what I'm trying to get out of the mistress question is if she see's that I'm looking at mistresses (without the intent to contact one) she would see that I'm yearning for female interaction. When I told her about my chastity wish I told her that I even fantasize finding a person who could take care of my kinks so I wouldn't burden her with it. I said it more for effect. She won't sit down with me to discuss anything sexual. It's just complaining. "Quit looking at those sites you go to." (this one and a major diaper lover forum) Well, it looks like I hijacked my own thread! Maybe the headline should say something else but I still want to know about mistresses.
The fact that you feel like you are already in chastity does change the dynamic, but I do not have an answer for your problem. I agree that you need to find something to sort out your issues but getting a Mistress is unlikely to achieve that. It sounds like your Wife has too much on her plate with three kids and it is quite common for a woman in that situation to not feel sexy enough to deserve or need sex. I went through several years of the same sort of issue with just two kids, but as we matured my Wife came back to believing me when I said she turned me on, that she was sexy in my eyes. Sorry I cannot be of more help.
Definitely support your wife first and foremost . Small house 1 bathroom she is going to be worried that the kids will notice . Put it in the nice idea but no cigar box Xx Wendy