I like my masculinity whilst wearing lingerie, but the concept of being a sissy fascinates me but leaves me conflicted. Before I start, this is a bit of an unravelling of my thoughts. It’s in no way meant to offend, nor is it a set in stone opinion that I hold. It's purely my way of articulating and attempting to understand the way I feel at times. One of the things that amazed me after I got old enough to see it was how few straight men were the epitome of masculine strength that I thought they were. It must be confusing to have an unreachable standard held up and certainly unhealthy to attempt. I admire men who have the strength to express their masculinity in a manner that contravenes expectations. Their bravery is a testament to their manhood. The difference between being a crossdresser and a sissy is that both words come loaded with a tonne of meanings, some of which intersect and some of which are completely unrelated. "Crossdresser" may refer to someone who simply wears clothing intended to be worn by women, whether that’s just a pair of silk panties under his football or military uniform (what, you don’t think that happens?) or going all-out to try and pass as a woman. Either way, men who wear women’s clothing are from all walks of life with all personality traits: Some are fragile and effeminate, while others are tough and hypermasculine. "Sissy" used to just mean a male who failed to live up to society’s expectations of masculinity: bookish nerds were called "sissy" long before I was born and well into the late 20th century, but as society has accepted the kinder, more gentle man, the use of the word has generally become to mean boys (or occasionally men) who are unacceptably cowardly or unashamedly girlish. By those definitions, I suppose people of the 1800s to 1970s would consider any crossdresser to be a sissy by the simple fact of failing to be masculine enough, but you could also be a sissy and NOT a crossdresser, acting weak or girlish regardless of what you wore. However, in the world of fetish crossdressing, the term has taken on a new meaning in the last few decades.In the fetish world, "sissy" conveys an entire lifestyle centred on humiliation and forced feminization. This type of sissy wears not just conventional clothing meant for women but hyperfeminine and usually age-inappropriate clothing: Frilly bloomers, fluffy short dresses with lots of lace and ribbons and a petticoat (or two or three), French maid outfits (again, with the short puffy skirts and petticoats)... you get the idea. I have seen some very simplified explanations, such as- A sissy is someone who dresses for sexual desire. A crossdresser is someone who feels more comfortable when wearing female clothing. A transgender person is someone who identifies as the opposite sex of their birth sex. As I say, I feel fascinated and conflicted with my desires and understanding, so I will come back to this and update further.
Apologies, I think I’ve chosen the the wrong thread. Love the people on this website but it’s like a 'timeslip’. I feel like I’ve gone back a generation and don’t know how to use the technology of the the time.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! In every clan of badass dudes, there always seems to be a guy who enjoys wearing lingerie (possibly while being pegged with a pink dildo) - Even if it's a private encounter with an escort, his wife completely oblivious... Everyone falls somewhere on that sliding scale... I enjoy crossdressing with a bit of sissy play - Personally, it helps to balance out my 'hypermasculinity' from everyday life. Once the cute clothes go on, my biggest stress is when my stockings won't stay even... Sometimes it can be hard to boil it all down into categories and labels to explain it all, but for the stake of understanding what makes us all tick - It's a topic that also fascinates me.
A person can bear many ‘labels” and even contradictory labels. Some people get hung up on a particular label and want do dictate what that means toward the other labeling identifiers. Often times, people assume that other labels automatically apply because you fall under a certain label. For instance, many would assume that I would hold certain political and social positions or assume that I would vote a certain way but you may be surprised.
I think so many people are fascinated and conflicted, it’s good to recognise it and accept it rather than fearing it.
Thank you for putting your thoughts into words. I think many men use these labels to help them express a fantasy, as in wearing panties under their work clothes somehow makes them a sissy. If their desire is to be a sissy, that’s great, put there is nothing wrong with wearing panties because you enjoy the way they feel, or look. I look forward to seeing where this thread goes, it’s a big part of the reason I believe this group grows and thrives
Never really gave this much thought until recently. I like what I like because I like it - Trying to define it is a double-edged sword. Opens up a whole new world of definitions and possibilities - Each with their own set of "limits". Pluto isn't a "planet" anymore - It's a "Trans-Neptuian Object". In reality it's just a rock orbiting the sun, oblivious to what term humanity has decided to "call" it. Several years ago, I gravitated towards frilly panties with ample amounts of hot pink... Pretty sure the internal philosophy was to "be the girl you'd like to fuck". As I've "matured", the desire to dress like a "teenage sissy slut" has slightly subsided in favor of more elegant patterns and materials. Having said that, if I find a pair of panties with the trifecta of pink, bows AND lace - It undoubtedly gets added to my collection!
Still in the spirit of reflecting and understanding, just a few more of my own thoughts and ramblings - At least in the way that they apply to me personally, at this point in time... Seems in some circles, the word "sissification" has replaced "feminization". An interesting development, albeit confusing, and at times unintentionally offensive. "Sissification" in my view is being "hyperfeminized" - But someone who is "feminized" may have zero interest in being a "sissy". It's truly an identity for some people, and just a fun sex thing for others like myself. Still, I'm somewhat in awe because going out in public is something that I'd only dare on Halloween. Have heard others state that lingerie was their gateway into crossdressing. For me, it started with sexy underwear - Then stockings. Honestly can't recall whether the next step was a skirt or a bra - So much fun and highly addictive. Seems people can get very attached to certain labels, then question their own identity if they don't match up with everything that label is "supposed" to be. Regarding a label, "Individual contents may vary".
But also: A gentle man = a gentleman. Gentleman, to be polite, gentle, considerate, respectful (especially to women)... In the past, being a gentleman was required of men as a social norm in Europe. Sissy is insulting word for a man. But word - gentleman, it gives honor to the man. And also often rude primitive and aggressive men, who did not want to accept the social norm, told men, who were gentlemen, that are sissy. But if you see yourself as sissy, no gentleman, so I'm sorry.
Thanks Mr Anonymous ‘real man’ your contribution to the thread is duly noted and suitably appreciated.
Surely one can be a sissy and a slave at the same time... Or on different days, depending on the mood... This leads me to something else I'm curious about, for those who also enjoy fetish crossdressing - Does ejaculating make you lose interest in dressing feminine?
So, this is all IN MY OPINON AND EXPERIENCE, and I mean no disrespect to anyone So, I love being a sissy, but it's purely sexual for me, not lifestyle. My understanding (after listening to sissy podcasts, reading sissy forums etc) is that Sissies seem to fall into two categories generally speaking - those who do it for sexual gratification, and those who desire it as a full lifestyle. Sissies generally have a very strong urge to serve and please others, and a desire to be used as a sex receptacle. I think a lot of people don't quite understand the need to wear highly feminised clothing that sissies desire - it's not meant as disrespect to women or misogynistic in my experience, it is used as a tool to strip away masculinity. It is an exaggerated parody of femininity in the same way as Batman or Superman are exaggerated forms of masculinity . For me, it massively turns me on to be made hyper-feminine and serve my Mistress; to understand I can never be a 'proper' woman, I will always just be a weak sissy that women will laugh at and use for their own pleasure and enjoyment. Personally, I enjoy being a man far too much to want to be a sissy full time, although as a fantasy it's a fantastic thought. For me, when Mistress and I have sissy play I enjoy it immensely and, if I am lucky enough to receive a ruined orgasm after giving Mistress her orgasm (which may or may not happen), I feel no shame whatsoever after. BUT I also love being strapped into a harness, cuffs and collar at her feet too. Why only do one?!
I love this so much! It totally encapsulates my feelings. Thank you so much, reading this has dissolved my conflicted feelings and 100% positive towards exploring my fascination.
While I don't have issue with any person, in these categories, I find these conversations hold to be like religion, politics or race. You can have the best of intentions making a comment but the person reading it may take what you wrote entirely wrong and this I have already learned from in one of my threads.