Long distance dilemma...advice and ideas sought.

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by jbleisure, Jan 18, 2020.

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  1. jbleisure
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    jbleisure Member

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    I have a new partner...we met and fell in love about 6 months ago and we are managing our relationship long-distance...something I didn't think was possible nor something I ever wanted....nonetheless..it's happening and we're making it work. At the moment we are spending a week, 10 days or 2 weeks together every 8 weeks.

    We are both kinky with a wide range of kinks shared between us. Caging and teasing are relatively new for her..but she loves it and LOVES how horny and desperate I get when she has had me in the cage for a day or two or three etc...particulalry the desperation. She wants to create more of that desperation for the next time we meet in about 6 weeks from now...here's the thing she DOES NOT like to have me wear a cage when we are not together....I'm completely respecting her wish and not pushing that in any way....so here's the dilemma...How do we create desperation and super horniness in me for when we meet....without the cage going on before I arrive (as I'm the one travelling next time)....Ideas I have so far are to edge daily for a period of time before I get there...but she is also looking for ideas to ramp up that desperate horniness in me once I'm there (in addition to making put on the cage)...

    ...all thoughts and ideas welcome. Thank you.
     
  2. madams-sissysub
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    Have you talked to her about why she doesn’t want you to wear a cage when you’re apart? It might be beneficial to just ask.
     
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  3. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    You need to find the root of her objections. Seems she would want to keep you locked when you are apart. She may have some unfounded fear of something that needs to be addressed. You may want to keep a masterbation log and show her how often you masterbate when unlocked. Or tell her you have a problem and ask her to help by keeping you locked when she is away.
     
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  4. jbleisure
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    jbleisure Member

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    Thanks but you are both missing the point. As I said I am happy to respect her wishes in regard to caging and I don't need to either find the root of her objections nor want her to be different in any way. I thought my request was pretty clear.
     
  5. HerServant
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    I have done and am doing the long distance relationship. You want horny desperation? Don't jerk off. That will do it. Refrain from a week before seeing her. Trust me, that will be plenty and you will go off inside her like Mt. St. Hellens.

    How does one accomplish this without a cage? Good old fashioned self discipline.

    Between visits, when I was at home (dans la maison), I would put on my leather collar so she could see it when we video chatted (my locked metal collar is subtle enough to not be erotic). She would allow me to play under her remote supervision. You might want to try that. She controls. You obey. She learns the optimal time to horniness ratio, because with all things, the law of diminishing returns applies.

    Have fun. Good luck.

    3miiy2.jpg
     
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  6. Byrdie
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    Byrdie Junior Member
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    Hmm. My first two thoughts are:

    • a remote controlled device, like a butt plug that vibrates upon command. I know that there're some security issues with wifi-enabled ones, but if there's a company that has upped their security then she can "buzz" you whenever she likes, and you won't know until it hits, or low much stimulation you're going to get until it stops.

    • online tease, edging, and denial sessions. This could happen through Skype or FaceTime, or it could be through texting (Google Voice is usable through the web if always texting on the phone isn't feasible). I once sent a guy a voice recording of what it sounds like when I orgasm, which he said wasn't fair while he was trying to stay chaste. Not that we ever said anything about me abstaining. :D
    I suppose that she could provide you with a list of films or books she wants you to read for ideas. You could write book reports or movie reviews and discuss the films. I recently participated in a discussion of films that feature women dominants:

    • Preaching to the Perverted (British)
    • Punish Me (German)
    • Exit to Eden (Ackroyd & O’Donnell) - comedy
    • In the Realm of the Senses (French / Japanese)
    • Venus in Fur (Polanski)
    • Maîtresse (1976) - Gérard Depardieu
    • Going Under (2004)
    • The Duke of Burgundy (2014)

    (I haven't seen the last four, but I did see Venus in Fur as a play.)

    You may find some of these ... inspiring.
     
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  7. BunnyAthalus
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    BunnyAthalus Long term member

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    i have a wifi over the internet controlled prostate massager, it's a lot of fun haha.

    Doesn't get me over the edge, just makes me simmer
     
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