Any questions or guides for evaluating FLR after trial period

Make up your own questions.

Such as....

How did this make you feel?

What were the Negatives of this trial?

What were the positives of this trial?
**Always ask the negatives first and the positives second so the question ends on a positive note***

What are somethings we need to change?

If we move forward, what are the things would we keep?

Finally, should we try another 6 months?

Good Luck

Iso.

 

Good list. I'd add:

-Was there anything that was a surprise to you during the trial? Was it a good surprise or a bad surprise?

-Did you find it became easier to fulfill your role as the trial went on, or harder?

-Did your understanding of your role change during the trial? If so, how?

-Can you think of three memorable moments during the trial? Are they the same ones your partner picked?

-If your partner doesn't wish to continue, are there aspects of the trial that you would like to keep ourside of an FLR?

-Do you genuinely feel gratitude for your partner taking on their role in the trial?


Each partner answers separately, then compare and discuss.

 

I think before the questions you need to ask yourself how you feel. If either one of you feel "off" it isn't working and you will either have the discussion or decide it is too off and discontinue. Good luck but make sure you are honest with yourself. Significant dissatifaction could be a relationship keller.

 

Good point. I think a written questionnaire, filled out over the course of a week or so, might be better. You can work on it when you're into it, then plan a nice evening together to review (with maybe some other activity planned for after). Hopefully the relaxed pace and planned together time makes it easier to be "on" for the discussion.

 

These are some good questions.

The one that should always be asked by the male in a FLR is; “What can I do (or do less of) to make this more enjoyable for you?”

Try to make it less of an interview with scripted questions. She may not feel comfortable being put on the spot about a topic she may not have made up her mind about.

Setup a special time with coffee or wine and some nice nibbles, and ask just that one question. And really listen. Keep it light. See where it goes from there. That question is non-threatening and shows you are serious about her leading and you following. As she gains confidence, it may lead to some pretty interesting responses.

We have found that finding quiet time once a week to have an honest conversation helps not only the FLR, but the entire relationship.

 

My first question would be along the lines of 'have I met your expectations, in what ways have I and in what ways can I improve?' Otherwise I dont think you can have premeditated questions. You have to let your experience with your wife on this journey guide your discourse. These'ss no one size fits all set of questions because everyones dynamic is unique. I started reading 'how to' for FLR but at a certain point, you'll realise that you need to shift through what is actually relevant information for your circumstances.

 

If you are both willing to try another 6 months consider what the outcome of that might lead to in future and will you ever both be confident and secure etc etc to let your relationship become truly Female Led

Its your relationship make up your own rules.. 6 months FLR and then Switch or 3 months on 3 months off or permanent.. all up to you nobody can give you a definitive right and wrong as they are not you

 

Once you do have you list of questions, one good way to start the discussion is for each of you to individually answer the questions on paper, then get together, compare and discuss what you both agree on, and what you don't. Sometimes if you just open up a discussion, one of you will give way to the other's choices, even if unintentionally, so writing down what you really feel first without any influence from each other can make it much more obvious where you do and don't agree on things, and make it easier to work out which direction you both really want to go in.

 

I'd say sit down and talk about it with her reach for the stars, but accept her decision